Best Teacher And Me
Don't Kill Yourself

Finished being abandoned by Irsyad, Kila cried even louder. Sobbly until maghrib's time arrives. He immediately cleansed himself before performing the Maghrib prayer.

Finished the prayer he delivered, his eyes returned hot considering the incident earlier. Though he was very sure that he was ready, but why was he still afraid? Kila did not intend to play Irsyad's feelings, it was basically not ready, as Irsyad said.

There was a rumbling sound from outside. Looks like it's going to rain. Kila remembered her clothesline on the roof top that had not been lifted because today was so busy. Soon he went up to shake it.

"Rain?" ask Kila. He has thrown everything away where it is not rained. Meanwhile, he was exposed to rain because of daydreaming for a moment.

Kila walked towards the end of the outer wall barring the roof top and the garden on the first floor. Refused his hand to the wall, then folded his hands there and continued his daydream accompanied by rain.

"How can I not be ready? What makes me cry?" Kila monologues in the rain.

"Even after I cried, he was still being kind. His face felt guilty, not angry. And the good news is, he still remembers the prayer time in such an awkward moment."

Her tears came back, mixed with rain water that also soaked her cheeks.

Looking downwards made Kila think of going down there. His mind started to get messed up. I wanted to jump from the third floor down.

"Sir, does Kila have to go to Grandma's? Maybe, if Kila goes there, grandma can help with Kila's problem."

Kila's gone crazy. He meant to end his life? The confusion he felt made him unable to think clearly.

He wanted to jump one more step. However, he soon heard Adzan reverberating. Isya's time has come. He knew the voice, as well as the tone of the adhan that was delivered. The voice that once bewitched Kila, once again bewitched her to the rhythm of the reconciling nahawand. Kila immediately abandoned her intention to end her life. He would go back to his original intention, there was another way to make this the last time for both.

Because he already wanted to jump, he did not immediately go back to his normal position. Now he sits himself on the wall that is so tall. Enjoy the rain before it stops raining. Because now, his friend is raining.

Kila reflected on how her relationship with Irsyad could get to this level. What he found was instead how selfish Kila was and the imposition of the fulfillment of the will. Come to think of it, Kila turned out to be a child. He did not even pray istikharah at all for his decision to end his relationship with Irsyad. In fact, he advised Riska to pray istikharah first. Advise not to take rash decisions, because you will regret it later.

By the way, Kila remembered that he had not yet performed the Isha prayer. He turned his face towards the sky, making his face wet from the rain. Remembering his best friend's advice to be compatible with Irsyad, he only has to compensate for Irsyad's kindness. Never feel inappropriate, maybe paired with Irsyad will make Kila a better person, just like Irsyad. He closed his eyes long enough before moving from his seat to pray. His still looking face looking up at the sky began to relax, his tears had already stopped. Kila can think clearly now.

Kila decided to steady herself to be with people as good as Irsyad. He won't bring back the same. He realized, the possibility of depression is high because there are many problems, as well as a thesis that is forced completion. He realized, he was only exposed to a lot of pressure, so, his childish attitude often relapses lately.

"Start from zero, huh? Bismillah..," said Kila who was satisfied to look up. All he needed was this, contemplating all things from various points of view, accompanied by rain and solitude. Until he realized, he was completely healed now.

Kila wanted to get off her seat, but she didn't know how. Can go up, can't go down. Moreover, now he was even afraid to step, because if one step he would end forever. Another case when he ascended earlier that did not care about his life at all.

"Where is this, it is very difficult to get down," complained Kila distress.

"Aaa.. help!! Mas Irsyad.., please Kila. Anyone..., please...!" Kila screamed loudly. Whether the screams can be heard or not. Because it was raining so much that it covered his voice. Roof top is not visible from the front of the house, no one can see it trapped there, can only be seen from behind the house. It was only Irsyad that Kila's hope came to save her.

"Mas Irsyad!!! Please Kila!" for the umpteenth time Kila shouted. His voice almost disappeared. His eyes were a bit blurry as it kept raining.

Elsewhere, Irsyad was deliberately rushed home from the mosque after Isya to improve things. There was an uneasy feeling as well which suddenly told him to quickly go home after the greeting. In fact, he would usually go home after a prayer led by the priest.

"Mas Irsyad...!!" a faint sound was heard from the front of the house.

"As if Kila's voice sounded." Irsyad immediately entered the house, his feelings getting worse.

"Please Kila, Mrs Irsyad!!!" the voice was clear, but nowhere. Irsyad searched for her in panic.

"In the house there is none, where is Kila?" Irsyad frantically searched for the whereabouts of Kila whose voice sounded close. Moreover, Kila shouted for help continuously.

He went out into the garden behind the house. He had not looked up, he had been hit by something. He checked it out, and it turned out to be the necklace he had given to Kila. Immediately Irsyad stared up. He panicked to see Kila trapped there. If it falls, it's over.

"Mas Irsyad...?" ask Kila expectantly and with relief.

"Kila, hang on for a second. I'm going there" cried Irsyad with a look on his face that was getting panicked. Hurry up with long strides, Irsyad towards the roof top.

"Crazy, hold my hand tight!" exciting Irsyad. Aside from panicking, he even wanted to shed tears at the thought of how Kila could be stuck in this position.

Kila looked powerless, it was because for quite a long time he was stuck in this position and spent all his energy.

"Crazy! Quick grasp. Don't kill yourself!" Irsyad was furious, his energy to pull Kila alone was not strong enough. However, Kila had completely run out of energy to hold Irsyad's hand.

Irshad prayed to Allah SWT for help to be given the strength to lift Kila.

By exerting all his strength, Kila finally managed to be saved. Both are lying limp.

"What the fuck, Kila? Are you really going to end this by ending your life?" Irsyad spent his remaining energy to vent his emotions. The two no longer speak. The hunting breath and the pouring rain accompanied them.

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