Dear The Ex
Advice from Mama-in-Law

My body trembled as I held back the loud screams that were ready to come out of my mouth

Tightness, anger, disappointment, heartache all mixed into one. The pain of my heart is no longer over, my tears have spilled out

And I who kept the yelling was only able to hug my knees and hide my face between my knees and cry as I pleased

My phone's been ringing since, and I don't pay attention to it. I just kept crying regardless of the number of incoming calls and the number of messages I received

I was so not strong that I found reality, I ran up to the room, locked myself and screamed loudly in the pillow

The Tivi I left behind is still on and now has changed with Meka and Bobi watching their favorite cartoons

The knock on the door from Meka the next few hours I did not answer, I still continued to cry

My room was a mess because I threw all the pillows, sheets and blankets on the floor

Until the voice of the call at the door turned into the voice of my mother-in-law

"Intan, open son, this is mama"

I still didn't answer, I cried even more knowing that the one standing outside right now was my mother-in-law

"Intan dear, we need to talk son." again heard his persuasion voice.

I was still shaking only my tears kept flowing. I don't know how many hours I've been crying, because now I see it outside the window, it's dark

"Mama?, mama why ma?" there was a hoarse voice from Meka and Bobi

Hearing their hoarse voice, my heart broke and I cried again

"Sister, open the door, otherwise I'll break it!!!" it was clearly heard by me the panicked cries of my youngest brother

Then there was the pounding and the panicked screaming at the door, and now I hear Meka and Bobbi crying loudly

"Son, open the door...."

I immediately got up because I heard my mother's voice, I opened the door and my mother immediately grabbed me as soon as my face appeared

Meka and Bobbi came with me. My sister came in, and so did my mother-in-law

My brother-in-law and my sister tidied up my messy room like a broken ship, while I who was still held by my mother could only cry in silence

Then my mother took me downstairs and sat me in a chair, my mother-in-law immediately sat next to me clutching me and crying

My gaze was empty and I did not react when he cried while holding me

"It's a test for you boys, you who are stoic, who are patient." said my mother-in-law again.

And I was still like that, not reacting other than continuing to cry in silence

"Mama why ma?" ask Meka

I extended my hand towards the two of my children standing in front of me, clutching them tightly while crying sobbing

"Mama why?" Meka still demands my answer

I shook my head

"Did they sleep the same?"

Bobbi nodded

"No way, he wants to be patted by mama first"

"Just like grandma?"

Bobbi was still shaking when my mother persuaded her

"This is the same Om" said my sister who immediately carried Bobbi

"They're just like grandma, huh?"

Meka nodded then according to when her hand was held by my mother.

Now in this family room lives me, my mother and father-in-law, my father and my sister-in-law named Sari

I shook my head

"Kok Arief could be raided outside the area how could it be?" mbak Sari is voiced

I'm still in shock not answering their questions

"When did Arif leave?" ask my father-in-law

"Since Monday afternoon" I answered briefly

"Kok you don't want him to go where?" back to Sari asked

"She said outside service" still I answered briefly

I heard they all took a deep breath

"Now have you heard about the development of the case?"

I shook my head, and again I heard a deep breath

"Try asking your husband or anyone Sar, how does anyone know Arif now?" said my mother-in-law to mbak Sari who directly attached hp to her ear

We heard she was talking to someone, her husband probably

Finished calling Mbak Sari looking at me

"Arif and his two friends are arrested, Monday can only be dyed"

I took a deep breath as did the others

"Now what's your next plan, son?" ask my dad

I shook my head, then the mother-in-law quickly grabbed my hand

"It's a test, a test for your household, if you patiently and steadfastly accept it, you'll go up to class. Remember son, God will not test His people beyond the ability of the people, we are all being tested by God, if we sincerely accept it we will pass and go to class"

I just kept quiet to hear my mother-in-law advising me, my eyes still empty and dumb

Until the night they were all still in my house, even my mother-in-law and mother were staying at our house

...----------------...

The news of my husband's raid spread so quickly. Moreover, in social media news about the raid was widely shared by many accounts

Even the local newspaper published the news

And I was when my in-laws were about to meet Arif, my husband, I preferred not to come because I was not ready to meet him, so they were the ones who set out with some of my husband's clothes

And when they came home, they stopped by our house and gave me my husband's suitcase

I just took a deep breath when I opened my husband's suitcase in the room, it was dirty and I also found that there was safety tucked between the piles

And this convinced me even more if not this once my husband was playing in a row behind me

But to my in-laws and in-laws, I didn't say if I found any safety in my husband's suitcase, I just said that it was all dirty clothes

Back before they went home my mother-in-law and brother-in-law strengthened me so that I would be steadfast and patient

And I just nodded and tried to smile.

Because of this case, I was so embarrassed to get out of the house, every time I went out to deliver orders for people who shop online to me I always felt like people's views were sneering at me, even as if looking at me

And today the head of the office where my husband is serving comes to the house when the hours come home from work

He was not alone but came with three other people who turned out directly from the provincial staff service

The arrival of those who were unannounced before was quite shocking and embarrassing because I had nothing to offer other than warm tea

Fortunately they were able to understand my psychic condition that was shaken by the scandal my husband had done

And in between small talk in addition to wanting to be in touch they also convey if the status of their husband off first until this case is finished

And I again had to swallow the bitter pill for my husband's despicable deeds