Forced to Share a Bed
Sacrificing Feelings

Perhaps, my marriage will be the shortest marriage in the world. It could be that after the contract, I was immediately divorced. Again and again, these tears.

How can I be calm if my problem is this silent?

I look in the mirror, staring at the mirror image. My eyes were puffy, my nose was reddened, and my lips .. there were slight blisters on the inside. I forgot why this is why. Just realized this morning when brushing your teeth.

"Dai, are you okay?"

From outside the bathroom, Misti asked. Maybe it's a surprise because I'm a little long. Immediately I let my tears so that Sister Listi does not suspect.

"It's okay, brother. Hehehe," I came out with a smile.

"Feelings, you've been daydreaming to know, Dai. Earlier in the car, the cave saw you also daydream. What the hell is it, Dai? Story, dong." Sister Listi even stalked all the way to my cubicle table.

"Sister, I'm fine, excuse me, brother."

"Eh, where are you going, Dai?" Sister Listi held my shoulder.

"I'm going to Caca's, brother. Get permission to leave at break."

"Dai, the cave's coming. The inter lu ya cave. Where are you going anyway?" Misti panicked, she held my hand.

"Sister, I can do it myself. There are things you can know from me, there are also things you don't need to know. I also have privacy, brother," I said, and without me knowing my tears were dripping. I immediately ran to Caca's room.

"Dai, are you sure it's okay? Sure?" yell Brother Listi. He must be worried about me.

"Work, work, work" said another.

.

.

"Would you go to the hotel yesterday? Yes, I gave you permission, but don't be long, Dai. Anyway, before the break is over you should be in the office again. Hope your ring meets. If it's still her sustenance, I'll see you, anyway."

Again, I lied that my ring was left in the bathroom ballroom. I have no ring at all. Let alone the gold ring. I don't have an imitation ring.

"Thank you, ma'am," I said as I left Ms. Caca's room.

When the break came, I rushed. Sister Listi just looked at me with a sad look. Misti apparently did not dare to ask anymore.

"Be careful, sorry that it made you uncomfortable. If you're calm, tell me, Dai. If you're sad, the cave's sad too, Dai."

The message from Misti made me smile and calm down a little. I'm grateful to have a friend like Misti's sister.

To be quick, I ordered an ojek online. While waiting at the exit, I somehow felt that someone was paying attention.

Maybe it's just my feelings.

Thank goodness the motorcycle I ordered was coming soon. I use a special ojek application that the driver is female.

...***...

"I'm sorry, Brother. We can't give CCTV footage to just anyone, even if the brother on that night was our guest, but to see the CCTV data, there has to be a procedure."

Right now, I've been dealing with the hotel manager and the PR department.

"What kind of procedure, sir?" my many. I kept my head down because the majority of the people in this room were men.

"First, you have to make a chronological or reason why we have to open CCTV data. For example, the reason for losing. Well, it must be clear first what kind of loss process. Second, it must involve the police and witnesses. Third, CCTV footage cannot be opened if there are other cases under investigation. That is, you have to wait first."

I let out a breath. As it turns out, it is not as easy as batting an eyelid.

"Sir Radit, in the latest data, the CCTV footage requested by this Brother seems to be under investigation. Incidentally, the range of dates and hours requested by other clients or previous cases is almost the same as this Brother. So, even if Big Brother has qualified for one and two, Big Brother still has to wait," explained the others.

"So, is there anyone else investigating as well?" my many.

"Yes, Brother."

"That's it, all right, I think it's enough. Excuse me." I say goodbye, get out of the PR room without getting any results.

I stepped on gontai. The world seems to be on my side.

'COLLAPSE.' It fell down the stairs. In the hallway of the hotel I hit someone.

"Sorry," I just apologized and turned without even looking at her.

"Hey, wait." What I hit was holding my hand.

"Deliver!" my snapping.

Sugguh is disrespectful! I don't want to be touched.

"Ha-hanin?!"

The voice ....

I spontaneously looked up.

"K-you," he said. I'm appalled. Why should I meet him? Wh why? My mind screams.

"What are you doing here? You should be working, right?"

"Let go of my hand! This is none of your business! I want to be anywhere, that's my right!" I tried to get away, but he was strong.

"It just so happens that we meet here! Come with me!" Mr. Zulfikar pulled my hand.

"Sir! You are not polite! Release him! Tolooong," I shouted. But there's no one.

"Sir, huuu, off! My hand hurts!" my lament.

"Don't crybaby! I will not harm you! Understand?!"

He kept pulling my hand. Entering the executive elevator. In the elevator, he let go of my hand. I scrambled to force my escape, but Mr. Zulfikar's body blocked the exit.

"Please calm down, I just want to talk, no other means" she said, holding the tip of my headscarf.

"Don't touch anything!" my snapping. I immediately turned my back and cried.

"Hanin, Hanin, Hanin! You can calm down no matter what?!"

"No! I can't calm down!" my yelling.

I didn't realize the elevator had stopped. When I came to my senses, Mr. Zulfikar pulled my hand back.

"Sir, please keep your distance! Release my hand! We are not muhrim! You are also married! Why can't you keep your honor as a married man!" my yelling.

"Yes, sorry. But it's an emergency! Please protest after this!" said. He really pulled me into the parking lot.

'Click click.' The sound of a car key being opened.

"Lake in." Mr. Zulfikar pushed me into his car.

I tried to open the door, but it was locked. Mr. Zulfikar came in, he was sitting at the steering wheel holding his breath. I continued my crying. We sat side by side.

"If you're full, we're talking." Pouring tissue at me.

"No need!" reject me. Take that tissue.

"You wipe your snot and tears wearing a hijab? Ck ck, slovenly," ledeknya.

"Huuu huuu," I don't care. I kept crying.

"You're funny" at first glance I saw Mr. Zul smiling. He's a real bitch.

"Huks, huks," my cries began to subside.

"Saturday Sunday is the holiday office, the plan .. Sunday I will go to Bandung to apply for you. I already know your home address. Whether you want to come with me or not. After all, without your presence or marriage will remain valid," he said.

I didn't respond. Just bowed while wiping away the tears.

"How's it?" ask again.

"W-what would you explain to my parents if one of them asked for your status?" I ventured to ask.

"Emm, if asked yes I would answer honestly if I was married. I'll reason that we love each other, easy, right?"

"What?! You're gonna say that?!" I spontaneously looked and glared at him.

"Hanin, listen up. We do this for the sake of comfort. From the beginning, what we did was wrong. So, there has to be something we sacrifice. I will sacrifice my feelings and sincerely accused of being an unfaithful husband when viewed from the perspective of your parents."

"Then you also have to be ready to sacrifice your feelings because you want to not want to, maybe will be accused of being a selfless woman because you love a married man. I wish your family had no one to ask about my status. So, I don't have to lie" he explained.

Again, he gave a tissue, this time I received because the diluted snot started flowing.

"So how, okay?" I nodded slowly.

"Wanna go back to Bandung?" tanyakanya.

"I go home, every weekend if I'm not late, I always go home" I replied.

"Then we go home together."

"No, Sir. I don't want to. Oiya, have you permission on your wife?"

"No, he doesn't know. I've consulted, siri's marriage remains valid even if my wife doesn't know."

"You're selfish!" my sentakku.

"It's an emergency, Hanin. Just like you, I want to put an end to this mistake. I also want to be responsible for marrying you. Even if we eventually break up, I will still be responsible. I'll give you a severance."

"Letter however, I have taken your chastity, please do not refuse if in the future I will help your life materially. Please don't make me feel more sinful because I can't give you anything. I don't want this marriage to hurt you unilaterally" he explained at length.

"I don't need the money, sir. I just want everything to be okay."

"Hanin, I have feelings. Please don't equate me with another man. The point is, when we get divorced, even if we're married in series, I'll make sure that your rights as an ex-wife I'll consider."

"No need sir. Divorced, divorced, no children among us, either" I said.

Suddenly I was climbing.

"Astaghfiullah! I'll have to go back to the office before the break!" myrag. Forcing open the car door.

"Hanin, I'm going to the office, all of us, okay?" Mr. Zulfikar took the wheel.

"Sir, put me down sir! I don't want to! Afraid of slander!" my yelling.

"Shhh," said he. Stay focused on the steering wheel, it's getting faster.

"Sir!"

"After the office, you go down first. Easy, right?" timpale.

Suddenly ....

"Beware!!"

In front is a motor whose penny light is on on the right, but suddenly turns to the left. Driver's mothers.

"Astaghfiullah!" his screeches. He spontaneously braked suddenly and our hands spontaneously grasped each other.

Jedug, my heart is beating. I glanced at him right as he also glanced at me. He and I sat. For a moment, I felt hypnotized. I even looked at his face. I should have lowered myself immediately.

'Tiiit.'

A car horn woke us up. I quickly withdrew my hand and lowered my gaze. My tears fell on the back of my hand. This scene was not worth it. I regretted.

"Sorry" said Mr. Zulfikar.

"Inadvertently" he added.

"Don't think too much. Allah is All-Knowing. You must understand more than I do. God knows that we are unintentional" he said.

"Oiya, starting next Monday, you can eat in the cafeteria without any worries." I'm just listening.

"Emm, there's a special canteen for the office. The servant is also a girl, do you like it?" tanyakanya.

The real question sounds strange.

Why should Mr Zulfikar ask me? Is not the whole policy his responsibility?

"Hanin, you like it, don't you? Answer dong," he urged.

I kept quiet because I felt there was no right to answer.

"If you don't like it, please give it a quick suggestion" he said. Again, I was silent.

"Hmm" he sighed.

I still don't answer. Prefer to stare at the streets, stick my cheeks in the glass, while staring at skyscrapers that seem to compete to be the highest. I enjoy the face of the beloved capital of Indonesia, Jakarta.

"Hanin," I heard him call me.

Then I forget to remember. The sleepiness comes attacking.

No, I can't fall asleep in his car.

"Hanine ...."

...~Tbc~...