Forced to Share a Bed
Tempest and Dilemma

I just performed the congregational Isya prayer at the mosque in the pesantren area of manhaj salaf with the father and the Hendra mang. After the prayer ended, I followed the study with the santri and worshipers.

"Just rest, Mas. You see this study event until night, usually until two dozen," whispered Mang Hendra.

"But, Mang. I'm not good with my father-in-law. You are still here."

"Mas, instead I was told to abah so that Mas Zul quickly went home. I said, Mas Zul is going to the project tomorrow, right?"

"Emm, i-yes anyway. I was talking about the project with my father." I also moved, then bent down to follow what the santri did while standing and passing the congregation.

"Emang not curious about Mas Zul as well as Daini?" whispered Mang Hendra. He also stood up.

"Sst, Mang. Don't loud. Mang Hendra knows what my marriage is like? I didn't think that way Mang," I patted Mang Hendra on the shoulder and left him.

Along the way leaving the cottage area, my heart was unceasingly rustling, the atmosphere here was so peaceful. The chanting and murmuring of the holy verse were heard in several corners. There was also a crowd of santri who were either chatting or were reviewing what, I did not understand what they were saying. They speak clearly in Arabic.

.

Arriving at father's house. I was staring at the door. Seeing the cat passing by, I became reminded of Kebby, the Angora cat belonging to the Goddess.

Goddess ....

I said his name while sitting on the garden chair. Then I looked up at the sky tonight as if it were starless. The night wind blew cooling my lonely heart. Today I turned off my phone for the first time. The goddess must be panicking and worried. I didn't tell him anything either.

I know this is gonna hurt her, but I have no choice but to do this. I couldn't lie to her if my phone was on and she asked me. How much a loser this is.

"I'm sorry, yes Wi," I muttered.

Honestly, I married the Goddess because I was betrothed. Papa and my mama were already disappointed in the woman of my choice after she was proven to cheat on me. Mom and Dad don't really have a problem with who I'm dating. But after I was fooled, they curbed me and forbade me to be near any woman except the woman of mama or papa's choice.

I stared at the night with teary eyes.

Forgive me God, actually ... Until this moment, I have not felt any debate when I was with the Goddess.

But .. I love him. I love the Goddess because she is the woman of my mother and father's choice. Not wanting to disappoint my mother for the second time, I also agreed to the matchmaking and was willing to marry the Goddess.

Behind this matchmaking, actually many agendas are implied. My dad and his dad Dewi are business colleagues. Obviously if my marriage and Dewi will have a positive impact on the progress of the company for both parties.

From the beginning of our meeting, I was sure the Goddess had loved me. I thought that as time went on and by marrying her, the seeds of love would grow on their own. But it turns out, it may take even longer for those feelings to grow and develop.

Goddess, what are you doing? Sorry, Wi. They are here to account for a mistake and an accident. Once Mas is ready with the risk, Mas will be honest with you if Mas has had other women.

"Sir, here's the tea."

That voice broke my daydream. A beautiful woman with her red hijab served me a cup of tea while looking down.

"Ha-hanin? Y-you haven't slept?"

I looked at him fixedly. It feels like a dream if this woman who is at first glance difficult to achieve has become my wife.

"I'm waiting for you" he said.

"Why wait for me?"

"So calm down, I'm not going to do this forever. I'm like this because we're in your house and ummi. After returning from here, we return to our original position. Our relationship is only limited to superiors and subordinates," he stressed.

"All right," I sipped the tea. It tastes delicious, sweet. There's a nutty aroma.

"Nuhun (thank you), raos pisan (so good)," I said. Intentionally using Sundanese, just curious about the response. Uh, he's smiling. God, her smile is beautiful.

"Can it be Sundanese?" ask her while sitting in the other chair. We are far apart.

"Emm, litle-lite I can," I said. Fun, he smiled again. This time while playing the tip of her hijab.

"The tea has its honey aroma" I added.

"Indeed it's green tea honey juice. Oiya, Mr Zulfikar is a native Javanese?" tanyakanya. But what he looked at the cup, not me.

"I'm a mix, papa Jawa, mama Chinese."

"Oh," he just said 'oh.' I thought I'd say something else.

"If you?" my many.

"Change Sundanese, ummi Sundanese, but my grandfather is of Arab descent."

"Oh," you deserve to be beautiful. In front of him, I also just said 'oh.'

"You guys here?" Suddenly Ummi came.

"Yes, Ummi."

Hanin stood up and hugged his umminya. I also stood up but looked down, my relationship and Ummi was not as good as yours. Ummi was more silent and rarely greeted me.

"Hurry to rest, fear that a neighbor will see you two. Don't chat here. Yes, you are married, but the neighbors don't know" Ummi said.

Then go again and don't look at me one bit. But let Ummi be like that. I understand Ummi's feelings. Hanin moved, I caught up with him.

"Hanin, I-I'm going to sleep in the guest room, I'm going to take my bag."

"Yes, that's better" Hanin replied. I hurriedly took the bag. But go back to Hanin's room.

"Hanin, the door to her living room is locked" I complained.

"What?!" He who was about to open his veil looked shocked.

"i'm serious. Emm, you know what, I sleep in the living room, but I need a pillow, okay?" ask me while putting my bag back.

"If in the living room later found out. Yeah, sleep here."

"Here?"

"Yes, Sir. I'll be on the couch, Mr on top." After saying that, Hanin went to the bathroom. He brought his sleeping clothes.

I nodded, sat on the sofa and waited for him. Then Hanin came out in her sleeping pajamas. Wearing a hijab too. But the hijab is simple. Not as big and as long as usual.

"Father go up there, I'm on the couch" he said.

"No, I'm the one on the couch. You're on top," I refused.

"Sir, hurry," he urged.

"Hanin, this is your room. You're more entitled to your room" I said.

"Sir Zulfikar" he insisted.

"All right," I relented.

"Okay, thank you."

I took it, but only the boxer I took. I should appreciate her initiative in preparing clothes. So, even if I bring a change of clothes, I will still wear the clothes of the Son.

"His book?" ask Hanin.

"I rarely sleep in clothes" I explained.

"What?! Just wear it, sir. There are a lot of mosquitoes."

"Later I'll wear it if there are a lot of mosquitoes" I immediately undressed. He turned his face away, then climbed onto the sofa and turned his back on me.

I threw myself down, looking at Hanin's back with a feeling I couldn't understand.

"Sorry, there's no AC here, sir," he said.

"A fan is enough. Oiya Hanin, I want to call Dewi, can I?"

"No need for permission, sir. Please," he said.

I turned on the phone. My heart's pounding. When I want to call, Dewi's phone is not active.

Why yes?

My heart asked, but I immediately knew the answer must be because of me. There were four missed calls, and I read the message.

"Mas, why is his HP destroyed?"

"Mas, I'm afraid you're okay, please don't make me unsettled, ma'am."

"Mas, sorry. Not that I was feeling bad, but there was a friend of mine who accidentally saw Mas pull the hand of a woman in costume into his car Mas Zul."

"My friend name is Reni, his house is a complex with a mama-papa Mas Zul housing complex."

"Let's clarify, please. I wish Reni had seen it wrong."

"Oiya, Mum. I intentionally killed HP so you can calm down. If Mas could just turn off HP without informing me, I guess I'd also have to learn from Mas how to do it."

"Mas, I will never ask whether Mas has loved me or not, because to me Mas is mine. No matter how you feel, I'll still love you, Mas."

"Be careful, Masku. If you sleep better rest first."

The message from the Goddess about pulling the hand of a woman dressed in a car made my heart dag dig dug. It's only natural that Reni saw that her house was a complex with my parents' house.

It looks like the tempest is about to start. Not even I am ready to be honest with the Goddess, the fact that the Goddess has caught me through her friend's intermediary. I sighed, then I glanced at Hanin who seemed to have gone to sleep. His position is still on my back.

I woke up, I couldn't bear to see him sleep on the couch. I approached, and without excuse immediately moved her to the bed. The hijab is a mess, I don't think wearing a hijab is a problem. She has become my wife.

I open her headscarf slowly, my chest is hot. I swallowed the saliva repeatedly. Besides being beautiful, she is also sexy. I suddenly felt lucky to be able to see this beauty when others could not see it.

Unconsciously this hand traces the line of his face and lips.

Why do we have to be found this way? Why does my heart always beat when I see your face?

Annan ....

Instead of moving to the sofa, I lay down beside him. She slept tilted to the right, her hands tucked between her pillow and her cheeks. His sleeping position was the sunah of the Prophet.

I faced towards Hanin, I enjoyed the beauty of her face. This beauty I can actually enjoy, but .. I can't touch it because I feel embarrassed and inappropriate. But this impulse is so strong. Honestly, I want to enjoy her body.

"Hanin," called me in a soft voice.

He did not say, his sleep was very good. I brought my head closer. I sniffed his breath.

"Hanin" I called him again.

But he's still asleep. I want to kiss her kenig. But when I got close, Hanin's eyes suddenly woke up. He looked at me and was surprised. His eyes were round and twitching. I was stunned, immediately turning my back to Hanin, hugging the bolster while holding my thumping chest.

I thought Hanin would be angry because of my sassness, but she wasn't. He was quiet, he didn't tell me to sleep on the couch either.

I understand Hanin's thinking, she who understands religion certainly will not dare to throw her own husband out of bed. I am her legal husband after all.

My awakening grew as I felt Hanin envelop my body. I wanted to feel like I turned my back and hugged her, but .. I didn't dare. Let me just take this swirling feeling to dreamland.

At a time like this, I realized how weak I was. I'm caught between two feelings that I find difficult to describe. I love the Goddess because I love my family so much and respect the Goddess family. But ... Along with Hanin, my heart feels warm and peaceful.

Can I be selfish and have both at the same time?

O Rabbi, please give way to your weak servant.

My tears are slowly dripping. Then I heard a sobbing behind my back. Hanin was crying too.

"Why crying?" my many. But still looking back at him.

"Sir Zulfikar, please let me go tonight, sir. Even if this marriage is not based on love, but ... You are still my husband. That means I have to stay devoted to you."

"After some thought, I don't want to pretend anymore, sir. It is better to hurt your feelings right now than to hurt them in the future."

I turned my body and held her shoulder.

"Hanin, I don't want to divorce you."

"Why, sir? Aren't you going to divorce me in the future?"

"No Hanin, no going!"

"Why?!" his insistence.

"Because ...." I couldn't see her flushed lips. My focus is on that. My male soul is struggling.

"Because--." I might have gone crazy, I completely silenced her lips with mine. My breath is roaring, this feeling makes me b a j i n g a n.

"Mm.m ...."

Hanin tried to resist, but .. I didn't let him wince. In this way, I hope that he does not carelessly ask for a divorce and play with this sacred bond. I also blocked his hand while grabbing what I wanted earlier.

Hanin struggled, but what he did made me want him even more.

"Hhh ... Hanin .. You are my wife, you understand what I mean, right?" I was determined when this beautiful woman tried to escape my confinement.

While crying, he nodded slowly, then dropped his body back to where it was. His paled and frightened face was looking at me with a wry look.

He seems to be in a dilemma. On the one hand, I'm sure he doesn't want to serve me. But on the other hand, she realized that I was her husband.

...~Tbc~...