Jandaku's Story
Part 1 (Story)

I am 26 years a midwife in one of the government offices in the district of Cirebon, I am a widow for approximately 1 year..

I got married 3 years ago with a man I love so much and he loves me so much.

we have 1 boy, so handsome percis like his papa. My life is very happy, your son gives a family harmony that is very priceless, we love each other loving and complementary, he said, but that moment stopped because when he was 2 years old your son died from a heart disorder diagnosis.

I was so depressed about losing my son, and so was my husband Syaif. I began to be alone rarely do activities other than my work in the office, my husband who works outside the city rarely contact me and I did not try to find it.

2 Months passed, I began to accept the situation as well as my husband, until finally one day he came home crying for me, "sad forgive me" he said softly pleading with me.

"you why that" asked me who was curious

"i .. I. hikk hikk "shayf crying so much that sitting on the floor hugging my feet.

"hhh why the hell, what's the matter, you why ?" my question was a little high-pitched to her while releasing her embrace on my leg

"father dear mamah, papah do not want you to leave papah, papah sorry papah has a big mistake as mama, want to talk but do not get angry let alone think to ninggalin papah, papah does not want" he was firm while being clear and not letting go of my leg embrace.

"are you cheating??" askau flat

Syaif did not answer he just cried and said sorry

"answer !!! you cheated on me, right??" ask me to scream

"yes." she replied weakly.

my eyes were wide open, I pushed my husband's body with all my might.

"my son's grave is still wet, how could you be rich gini!!" I always scream and don't care if the neighbors hear it.

"father khilaf mah, papah drunk at that time so papah did not know, papah apologized, papah please mah, papah please do not be angry, sorry papah" Syaif hugged my leg back

"khilaf?? drunken?? what do you mean, what are you doing with him? you slept with her??"

"yes mah but only last night, because papah drunk papah do not know, papah does not realize sorry papah mah papah beg"

"crazy for you, don't you remember me Syaif?? rich gini do you same me!!" resolutely

"father please mah, sorry papah"

I continued to rub my face violently, unconsciously my tears were rushing, I could not speak, my heart was broken so badly, the husband I loved had betrayed me, I don't know why I thought God was unfair to me.

"i am wrong whether you reward, you are evil as much as I am" I asked softly with both hands that closed my face hiding my tears of disappointment.

"i'm lacking what, why that stuff"

"sorry papah mah, mamah no wrong papah, mamah no lack of perfect mama, papah wrong, papah wrong, papah depression lost our child until papah drunk and when he realized papah again in the place of *********, papah also do not understand why papah there mah, papah sorry" her explanation with her hand that was trying to hold my hand.

"when did it happen?" ask me firmly

I put away his hands hard "don't touch me, go I want to be alone.!!"

"mah"

"go away" I pushed him out of the room, and I closed the door tightly locked it and I cried weakly behind the door,

outside the door of my husband's room was crying pensively sitting ..

a moment later I opened the door, my husband was shocked and immediately stood looking at me.

"you're looking for a job in this city, leave him or you leave me"! resolutely

he pulled back his steps, leaned against the wall and grabbed his own hair violently. "I can't leave him mah" he replied limply

"oh yeah?? why, you love him" I yelled up to him and pointed at his face

"she's pregnant"!!

plaaaaackd....

I slapped him hard and so hard that my hand hurt from slapping him..

I fell silent then hit her chest and I don't know what I hit, she held me back by still not fighting my blow while begging for my forgiveness.

my strength ran out, beating him and crying made my energy go away, I fell down and fainted.

1 hour later

I woke up, I was already in bed, I swept across the room and found my husband sitting languidly crying on the floor and then got up when I woke up..

I got up and sat in bed, my husband helped me get up. I weakly said "i want us to divorce" I said it out loud, my husband was crying so hard, I was crying, he kept begging me for forgiveness asking me to think it over.

I threw him away at that time without saying I put his things in a suitcase and then I threw them out of the house and did not forget I pulled my husband out of our rented house.

2 Days later I registered my divorce, and 3 weeks later we officially divorced.he always cried in court and also always apologized when the trial was over. "I love you, ma'am, it won't change even if we get divorced, sorry papah, papah emang bastard, sorry papah, papah please" he said while holding my hand and sitting down. I just silently did not look at him and passed away leaving him.

1 month later I got the news that he was married to the woman, Shayf had to take responsibility for his actions, although he doubted that it was his son because they only slept together one night and also the woman was a psk so definitely not only Syaif was sleeping with him, but the woman insisted that it was the son of Shayf.

I was depressed, I was taken by my parents to a psychiatrist, I think I was crazy then, I took medicine every day for 3 months, my boss gave me 3 months of sick leave, because they knew about my condition.

now that I began to accept the situation, my psychiatrist's advice was always in my head when I was devastated to remember the events that so broke my heart, thank God I was always supported by my family and friends..

now 6 months passed and I began to rise, I began to accept my destiny that I was now a widow.

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**this is my first novel, sorry if the writing is still less than perfect 🙏🙏