Jandaku's Story
Part 30 (consultation)
"how's dinda mba?" vicky said entering my room
"has slept, was taken abis medicine continues to sleep directly.kanya tomorrow must go to dr.lala deh" said Mba Lilis.
"later let Vicky deliver the mba"
"where possible, he would not want to be won if he went to dr.lala"
"yes he once said that his meeting with dr.lala was his privacy, but Vicky was worried that there was nothing, what else was the condition of the dinda again so. plus Syaif now mgejar dinda again" vicky said weakly
"doain aja dinda not okay ky"
**
"dok.." I drowned.
"hi Dinda how are you..?" hello dr.lala greet me
"well doc.." I replied lazily
"what's the matter?. hayu story.." dr.lala's smile was so sweet
I told her I was getting married to Vicky in 3 days. I also told him about the problems related to Shayf who came back in my life.
"how do you feel with Syaif, do you still love him..?"
"i think I still love him Doc"
" what do you feel when you're near Vicky?
"he's nice, I like being with him" I replied
"what did you imagine after marrying Vicky?"
"i think Vicky's gonna make me happy"
"okay alright, now go back to Syaif, what do you feel when you are near him?"
"i'm afraid doc"
"what are you afraid of?"
"i don't know" I answered
"what do you imagine if you go back to Shaykh?"
"my son would love to see us together, his happiness is my priority"
"where is your son now?"
"he died doc..."
"is he in heaven now?"
"of course, he's a child who has no sins at all" I replied
"is he happy in heaven?"
"of course he's happy, he's near god now" I replied
"then why are you trying to make her happy when she's already happy in heaven?"
"huh..what do doctors mean?"
"your son is happy, why are you trying to make him happy. Who guarantees that he's happy if you're together"
"but not all children are happy when they see their parents together"
"that if he's alive, if your son's gone, all he needs is your happiness, he'll be happy to see you happy here. Is it by going back with Syaif that you will be happy?"
I just shook my head because I didn't know what to answer
"don't sacrifice your happiness with a fictitious thing you're dealing with right now is Shayf not your son"
"what should I do, Doc?"
"focus on yourself, if you think about a problem you'll only get in trouble, but if you think about a possibility, you'll get a chance"
"dok mean?"
"think of the possibilities that will happen in the future, the possibility if you are with Vicky and the possibility if you are with Syaif..."
I thought for a moment, "I think I'll be happy with Vicky." I said sure
"right now you are in love with Vicky dinda.The fear you experience with Syaif is your discomfort with him, it is because of the trauma I feel for him, it is natural because your injuries are caused by it. What you say is that you love Syaif is your sense of familiarity with him. You don't love him, you love Syaif.." she explained to me.
I thought hard to digest every word dr.lala, Oh god why I was so stupid.Why I think that all this time still love him, let alone to love him, just meet him makes me feel uncomfortable.
"if you are sad, then your son who sees you from up there is also sad, so if you want to make him happy, then happy you first"
"yes doc, I understand"
"try to make yourself calm when you meet Syaif.The first thing you should do is forget about your problem with him, then you will easily be calm towards him"
"how can I forget his crimes against me"
"by forgiving him"
"denga forgives your heart for the peace of Dinda.I assure you"
"well, I'll try"
"good.... oh where are you getting married?"
"i don't know doc either, Vicky's taking care of everything. Today the invitation is scattered, maybe already in your house doc" my smile is sweet
"congratulations Dinda, you really found the right man for you, god did replace Syaif with a better one... Vicky's been hard-earned to get you, and you should be grateful to get it. Do not let anything separate you, may you always be happy" said dr.lala memeluku
"thank you doc"
"this is the recipe, you can take it, the medicine is the same as yesterday, taken when you feel uncomfortable okay??"
"okay doc, thanks for the time"
"sama, be careful and greetings to Vicky"
"well doc"
**
I thought hard about dr.lala's words.
He was right, I should try to make peace with my past, forgive Syaif for a quiet life.
Anaku will be happy to see me happy, and I will not be happy with Syaif.
"My son. mamah believes you are a smart child, a child who understands the current mamah situation, forgive mama who can not be with your papah anymore" I said in my heart by staring at the screen of my phone with a picture of my Annaku.
My daydream was gone when my phone screen changed with a call from Vicky
✓hello a
✓hai dear, have you finished the consultation?
✓already a
✓what are you now, where?
✓again waiting for medicine, still in Hospital, why a
✓what to pick up?
✓no, I can do it myself. I told you that.....
✓iya yes... privacy is okay..
✓hmmm aa
✓ya darling
✓i love you
✓I love you too baby, stirrup love you.
✓don't leave dinda ya a
✓gak will dong, uh already yes aa want a meeting, you go home carefully do not have to stop by anywhere directly go home, pamali said people if you want to travel marriage
✓iya aa okay
✓bye darling I love you
✓i love you to a
**
"on behalf of ms. Dinda" the pharmacy clerk called my name
"Dinda.." said someone calling my name from a distance.
I noticed who called me, oh my God.
"yet another consultation?"
From where he knows, I really don't like someone who knows me being here right now. I just kept quiet, I took the medicine and left it in the parking lot.
Shayf chased after me pulling my hand until I stopped my steps.
"what do you want?" just panic
"the father wants to talk"
"let go, what do you want, get sick..."
"remember, papah does not want anything, papah just wants to talk" said Syaif
"no I don't want to get sick" I tried to let go of Shayf's hand.
My heart was pounding, my sweat was pouring, my hands and feet were shaking. I feel my head heavy at this time, my body is weak to lose energy until I am unconscious.
I was awakened by Syaif, but I did not respond. My body was carried by Syaif, put in his car.
I don't know where I'm going now by him.