Jandaku's Story
The Part 66

Doubtful that I would enter the station, I gathered all the determination I had, preparing for my meeting with Syaif. I took a deep breath and forced myself to smile.

"nda.. are you okay?" juna asked to open the door of my car

"ah.yeah." I nodded my head, indicating that I was fine

"you met him so hard, I understood why you were depressed at that time, calm down and stop being so tense, we are by your side now" he said smiling at me.

**

"mah.." she said to me, brought her closer to me, almost tried to hug me, I rewinded my steps to reject her actions

"hi" I said, I actually told her that. Juna looked at me smiling

"you're okay, right?" syaif asked me worriedly, I nodded and forced myself to smile with a reassuring sign.

"why not say the same papah?" Syaif grabbed my hand "don't push myself, I know which smile is sincere from your face, I know you for years" he said stroking the back of my hand, pulling my hand closer to the passenger seat and telling me to sit.

"it's all my fault, our divorce has thrown us both into a tailspin, but I don't think you're suffering more than I do" she compared the fact that Vicky died to the harsh reality of Dewi's lies about children.

"yes, this is always your fault" I said, releasing my hand from his grasp. My best friend focused on seeing us talk by opening his ears wide so he could hear our conversation.

"forgive me, my mistake cannot be forgiven even with severe punishment, making your life suffer even now" he lowered his head

"forget it and don't talk about it anymore, it's been hard I tried to forget it" I said clearly..

"Mas Shayf....!!" someone shouted coming, Syaif who turned to the direction of the shout then stood up.

The woman ran up to Syaif and then hugged him tightly "sorry has made you worry" he said, still hugging Syaif without reply from him.

"why are you?" he asked knowing that his embrace was not getting a reply. He turned his head towards me, like he recognized me he was surprised to see me "yet Dinda?" eyes that do not like my presence.

"mah introduce this Rika" said Syaif turned to look at me, I also rose from my seat raised my hand to shake with him

"Dinda.." said I thrust my hand

"yes I know. hai mba Dinda I Rika her boyfriend mas Syaif" he said girang grabbed my hand.

I don't know, at this time it feels confused to show what kind of expression, I just fell silent to think what words are right for me to say

"we're embroidery, the carriage is almost here" said Juna approached to surprise me and released my hands that were shaking with Rika

I bent my body unselfishly at them, but my hand was grabbed by Syaif. Staring at me meaningfully, holding back her sadness for what reason.

"Rika. we will not get married before I make sure Dinda finds her happiness" he said loudly and firmly speaking to Rika but still with my eyes.

Why could she say that in front of her lover, and what was the meaning of her words. I had not had time to ask him about the clarity of the sentence he uttered, the arm that Syaif held was forcibly removed by Juna and now he clasped my hand tightly.

"don't try it if you want to make her happy" said Juna glared at Syaif and then passed by pulling my hand.

Me and my friends did the embroidery on our train tickets, Syaif was still in the same position, silently staring at me, while Rika looked at him.

"what are you saying mas?" rika was upset

"excuse me Rika, everything is different now" he said without turning his gaze to me

**

"you're okay, right?" ask Ririn to come closer

"why is everyone worried about me, I'm fine hey you guys" I threw my sweetest smile

"cih, well, I'm happy, the train has come" said Ririn turned to the train tracks, prepared with his luggage and stood up to welcome the arrival of our train.

Al and Anna sat together, as did Ririn and her husband, and I, of course, with Juna, because who else could I take to sit with except her.

"my feelings are not good with your ex, hah. I think he is more handsome than me to be able to replace the position Al at that time, it turns out he is not as handsome as I thought so far, ahhh... he ruined my expectations" he said, leaning his shoulder to find a comfortable position next to mine

I responded by looking at him, but did not answer his statement. "what time we will arrive" I diverted

"hour 10. hah.. sucks.look at how bad Al and Anna are, like ABG children only" Juna glanced at the chair that Al and Anna were sitting in.

I looked at her, saw her proud, smiled with happiness knowing that they were fine after a big problem had befell them "good.The bond of their marriage was strong, I even envied seeing her, I was happy, I wasn't as strong as Al when I found out Syaif was fucking another woman"

"why does it sound like you regret divorcing Syaif?" tanyanya faced towards me

"masa..? ah. I see" I scratched my head that wasn't itchy "but wouldn't it be better then if I forgave him and forgot about the incident, let it be like them at the moment, and also Vicky didn't have to see me, so he's alive right now" I said, still staring at Al and Anna

"it's a different story if your ex has kids, so they have to get married, if Anna doesn't have kids, so you can just leave Dimas alone"

"but isn't he Shayf's son?"

"huh... what...? sucks...why does it sound like a defense to him" he said annoyedly "just he knew it when the child was born, right? while the PSK still whines to ask for the responsibility of Syaif, want you polygamized by him, even though only until the child is born you think it is more sad where to divorce or have to share your husband, he said, and why are you being so stupid?"

"ahh. yes I'm sorry" I woke up and now shaken my shoulders to the chair to take my eyes off Al and Anna.

"after your meeting and Syaif don't dare to even think about it..!"

"why?" I looked at Juna's face waiting for an answer

"i don't like him"

"what does this have to do with you?" still waiting for Juna's answer

"ah. I'm lazy.you're stupid today, I want to sleep"

"cheek..."

Al and Anna really reminded me of me and Syaif, so angry I was at that moment that I immediately kicked him out right then and there. Never looked at her even though she begged me. The stubbornness of my head back then I couldn't stand, one of those ugly traits that slowly killed my own emotions and soul, makes my brain think so hard irregularly that it makes him depressed.

he made me depressed, I will not forget that suffering.

Juna was completely asleep this time. And I just saw the view from outside the window. Cirebon trip to Jakarta, I can't wait to get to and play with the sea waves.

The sea made history in my life, the sea was a witness to my love story with Vicky, expressed his feelings and also proposed to me. It's all related to the sea.

Why are all the memories of Vicky always on my mind and make me miss him, where did my memories and Syaif go. Didn't I spend more time with him than Vicky.

"my head is getting dizzy again" I said in my heart, leaning my head in a comfortable position, looking up at the ceiling of this carriage and waiting for the time to come.