Just Want to Be Appreciated
The miss is getting bigger

There are words that are not conveyed, there is love that is shackled longing. There is a heart that is stirring, because love that does not come. Where do I miss, where do I hold my love. I'm lonely and meaningless without you, because this miss really torments me.

That is now being felt Devan, day by day the feeling of longing continues to stir. Even Devan was alone in the darkness, the room with the moonlight from out there accompanying him. The matted coat was still on his body, sitting on the floor looking out there. The number of treasures can not make him happy, the height of the position is not as well as in the love that until now he has not found.

Devan is now trying to punish himself, punishing him for playing with the woman he loves so much. But difficult, the face of the hijab woman continues to haunt her. The shadow of her son's adorable face continued to overshadow him.

"Devan" Sarah, who had been knocking at the door, began to enter because there was no answer from inside, until she saw that Devan's room was very dark. Slowly Sarah turned on the light, then clearly saw Devan sitting on the floor.

Devan starts waking up after the lights are turned on, and he sees Sarah there.

"Why are the lights on Ma?" devan asked, because Devan prefers darkness.

Sarah crouched down, and she could see Devan's unkempt face. A long sideburn, disheveled hair. Devan is alive but lifeless.

"Dev," Sarah's tears just fell and spilled, she couldn't see Devan now. Now the eyes of his heart are open, because now Devan is no longer hiding his sadness, "You are looking for Hanna yes, Mama knows you feel that you are only his adopted son Mama. But Mama never thought so, and if you want to go also leave Mama please, but never forget Mama," Sarah softened with unstoppable tears.

"What's your mama talking about? Devan loves Mama" replied Devan. Devan hugged Sarah tightly, long ago and now Sarah was always able to make her calm.

Sarah was still silent and remembered the word her husband had said a few days ago. When Sarah begs Agatha to find Hanna.

"Please Pa, Mama please find Hanna. Mama misses Derren too, pity Devan and Pa," Sarah's pinta who continues to rest at Agatha's feet.

"I'll never do that Sarah, I just want to see how much Devan loves her son and Hanna. We don't need to interfere, because I won't want any words of return when he reunites with Hanna!" obviously Agatha with her flat face.

"Reply?" sarah asked confusedly, "We didn't force Devan to stick with Hanna, but because Devan loved Hanna did Pa?" ask Sarah who wants to convince Agatha.

"No. I want Devan to fight for Hanna. And if Devan finds out who Hanna is, Devan doesn't hold on because he's giving us back. I want Devan to stay because he does love Hanna" Agatha explained.

Agatha was silent and wanted to answer Sarah's question.

"Pa, does Hanna have anything to do with us?" Sarah was getting curious about the word Agatha meant.

"I just want Devan to be happy Ma, and this is just for the happiness of Devan and his children. And whatever the test of the future Devan endures because of love, not because of anything else" Agatha asserted and left. He did not want to make Sarah ask more questions, because he did not know what to say.

"Father!!!" exclaim Sarah. Sarah looked at Agatha who had left questioningly, there was a curious sense of the meaning of the word Agatha said, "Who's Hanna?" ask Sarah who is still sitting on the floor, "And why would Devan stay with Hanna just for the same reason? A favor?" Sarah was confused and kept wondering, she really did not know Agatha's intentions. But Sarah doesn't want to make Agatha any more angry, until he chooses to go with whatever Agatha says until the moment he arrives and he will know the meaning of Agatha at this time. Sarah no longer had the courage to oppose her husband. Because Agatha once said she would divorce her, if she did what she used to do to Hanna.

Devan who felt Sarah just silently hugging him began to distance herself.

"Mom think of something?" ask Devan.

Sarah shook her head, Though she was thinking of her husband's words, "Mom only wants you to be yourself" said Sarah, "Please be yourself."

Devan was silent, and he sat back on the floor. What he can say right now, "Devan is trying to punish himself Devan Ma, Devan realizes Devan's mistakes are too big and Hanna deserves to be happy in her way. Maybe with someone else," Devan bowed down and squeezed his hair, there was a sense of unwillingness when saying that. The words he spoke clearly were inversely proportional to his current feelings.

"Mama didn't ask you to fight for Hanna, neither did Mama ask you to stay away from Hanna. You just want the best, whatever decision you make, you follow. But one thing you should know Devan," said Sarah hanging her words.

Devan looked down at Sarah, he wanted to hear the words Sarah would say.

"No words of regret if one day it turns out you can't live without Hanna, convince yourself. Reassure your current decision, if you want to fight for Hanna you still have time. If even after you try and he still can not you have then you will never regret again," said Sarah and she left Devan's room. Sarah's heart still hurts too much to see Devan's suffering, he feels guilty because he just wants to make himself happy Devan has to sacrifice this much. Sacrificing his own feelings.

Sarah remembered Diana's face, now Sarah was determined. If Diana continues to threaten Devan because of her kidneys, Sarah will return them. No matter what life is threatened. The most important thing right now is Devan's happiness, for Sarah Devan is her son. Just as Adam was the son he bore and gave birth to. Even because of Sarah's true love for Devan, Adam never knew if Devan was only an adopted child. Adam knew they were three brothers, Devan Agatha Sanjaya, Raisa Agatha Sanjaya, and Adam Agatha Sanjaya. So what will happen later?.