lotus
dilemmas

Smart also my inner siska saw her wearing my dress cream-colored elegant, the dress I bought in Bali before I married mas Novan, not expensive anyway, well about 30 million...

I smiled at him.Seeing him out from inside with an annoyed face.

"well, it's so pretty, ma'am Novan..how do you like my dress?"

I asked a little teasing

"yes, thank you very much for the loan"

The word siska remained with a sullen face and a little grunt in annoyance

"no need to thank my mother Novan, I am happy to be able to share what I have"

I smiled mischievously at him

"oh yes, you do not need to borrow.I give the dress to you.yah, it is.maklum I am not used to wearing anything that has been used by others, including the clothes you wear"

To knit my forehead and then leave, mita who had been holding back laughter saw siska face following me away and....

Ha.ha...

Behind us laughed out loud and amused to see the face of the siska who could not wart

"please enjoy mr. devan"

I smiled at the corner of my lips to welcome Devan, Novia and their parents

They looked surprised that I was approaching them, Novia and Devan looked clumsy, maybe they knew I was approaching for sure to do something to them like Siska earlier

"thank you yu, emmm, I mean Miss Ayu.and thank you for inviting us to such a grand and lavish event.."

Devan answered with a brick while Novia was silent fearlessly looking at me

"no doubt, this event is indeed made so that we can be closer to all our business partners and employees"

I said steadily

"yes, we know.again thank you, we are very honored.."

This time Novia answered me with eyes that dared not look at me

"don't hesitate, please enjoy the dishes from us as is this"

I said a little low

"this lady is very humble, the dishes served are very luxurious not what they are"

Devan said while forcing a smile

"oh, then do not hesitate to please eat, oh yes even if you want you can wrap it home.soal if the rest is also the most discarded..."

I smiled cynically before leaving those who looked annoyed and embarrassed

"mit, do you think I'm going too far anyway?"

I asked Mita, actually my heart could not bear to see them humiliated like that even though I myself humiliated them

"don't they think about your feelings when insulting and expelling you first"

"yes anyway, but actually I can't bear to see the two parents mas Novan earlier"

You can't bear it because they're parents?.but did they ever think of you when they treated you like a maid, did they kill you after you sacrificed 5 years to serve them....come on ayu....

They deserve that"

I don't know, the feeling of unbearability suddenly emerged from my heart

"you calm yourself first yu, do not let you lose with your sense of uncertainty, I accompany another meeting first"

Mita went back inside leaving me on the back porch with a lotus expanse that looks graceful radiated moonlight tonight....

I breathed deeply, it seems wrong, well this is wrong.I involved two families at once to avenge my heartache, well, my family and Arga's family, it turns out I am selfish....though Arga was forced to betrothed to me not because of love and in the future whether I will marry without love or this engagement is just playing toys

Then what about my family and the Arga family.it's wrong.....

I was surprised to see Arga sitting next to me, since when?

"hhhhh"

I held back my screams in surprise as a stout figure sat beside me

"has it finished daydreaming?"

Ask Arga makes me round my eyes...

"emmm...eh....you when will you come?"

"long enough to see you daydream"

Arga lit a cigarette and exhaled his smoke while sighing deeply

His face was very tired

"i'm.I'm not daydreaming"

"thinking!!!!"

Arga repeated what I said, his face remained flat

" think how to get back at your ex-husband and his family"

Arga guessed but remained with his flat face

"then do you never think, what if I repay you...."

I was surprised by what Arga said, he looked at me sharply, his blue eyes as if he wanted to eat me alive

live

All this time I was busy thinking of how to avenge my heartache on mas Novan, but I forgot that there are people who hurt because of my actions

Is this my karma because I used to refuse matchmaking and choose to go with the man I love

We have long faced each other

"you want to repay me?"

I looked down while embarrassed

Arga smiled cynically with a puff of cigarette smoke coming out of his mouth

"you reckon?"

I feel guilty, selfish and evil

"if you already have a boyfriend we can make a contract, after marriage we can divorce" I said softly, Arga looked at me full of question marks

"i mean the one in Bali ..."

Arga laughed before I continued saying

"we'd better get inside, guest looking for us to say goodbye"

Arga reached out her hand to take me into the house, only one step of the heel I was wearing got stuck in my dress and....

"aw.." yeah..."

My screams were unable to keep my body in balance almost fell...

Arga swiftly grabbed my body and grabbed me in his arms

It felt strange, my heart was pounding as the burly body hugged me

Arga's burly hands held me strong, making me awkward as our eyes clashed against each other

I pushed her back a little, took my body out of her arms, it felt like my cheeks were flushed either out of embarrassment or something

"go ahead don't daydream"

said Arga while confirming the body that I had pulled when I almost fell, I just smiled awkwardly not knowing what to say

" come on, we're waiting"

Arga took my hand into the house to meet the guests who were about to say goodbye

After all the guests came home as well as Arga and his family, I sat back on the back porch of the house, well this place is my favorite because where there is a lotus flower is where I can express, I can express, imagining and moaning, it felt very peaceful looking at the pink flowers that were blooming fresh, not only my body was tired, my mind felt very tired.all happened so quickly and it felt like a dream.

Like yesterday I became a wife mas novan arrived now I was engaged to Arga....

All the families have fallen asleep because of soy sauce, there are only a few wedding organizer crew who are busy improving

I looked at the pile of goody bags, gifts brought by invited guests.

and what if later I disappoint a lot of people again because I and Arga are engaged without love and what if Arga has a boyfriend, wouldn't I be the bad guy who separates lovers for my selfishness avenging my heartache on my ex-husband

Then what about my family and Arga's family if we don't get married....

Ahhh it seems like I can go crazy thinking about this, O God.....

I know exactly how painful it is to be betrayed and now I will make a man betray his lover for the sake of another woman.....

"this is non coffee"

Bik Narsi, the housekeeper who had been caring for me from childhood, arrived with a cup of black coffee to spread my daydream

"bik Narsi bothered to bother, thanks bik, aunt rest alone must be tired"

"aunty sdh tidu was non, aunt even ndak bothered, because all the work there is taking care, just this day was a relaxing aunt, can eat a meal"

I scrunched my forehead while sipping black coffee made by Narsi

*bibi see from earlier non ayu restless, daydreaming,...non unhappy?"*

Ask the monk Narsi who memorized well with me because indeed I for him was like his own child

"no bik, I'm confused about whether to be sad or sad or what...."

Bik Narsi smiled as if rubbing my shoulder knowing my anxiety

"no parent wants his child to be difficult, all parents will definitely give their best, such as non to Naya, definitely will give the best to Naya, as well as the father and mother.they certainly have considerations that they think are best for non ayu.suremakinlah"

Narsi's words made me a little calm, I nodded understanding that it was like getting water when I was thirsty

"but bik..i feel bad for Arga.how if Arga already have a girlfriend, does not that mean I've hurt other women"

"during the day non mas Arga had a boyfriend, if he had a girlfriend why he wanted a fiancee same non Ayu"

"iya bi, yesterday in Bali Arga brought women with him"

My answer is soft and flat

"maybe a non-rental woman, kayaking on tv tv it lo, which is paid for nemenin fit again in Bali"

"bik Narsi there's only...."

But it feels like the woman was just seen fit in Bali alone, or Arga was not honest with his girlfriend if he was fiancee, but the fiancee's event was very large and many media covered ..it is impossible if Arga hid the engagement from his girlfriend...

I randomized my own hair thinking of the silliness of the silliness that came to my mind

"already non, go to sleep, just pray that everything will be fine"

"iya bik, ayu sleep first, it's 3 o'clock"

what a beautiful dream for myself.....