LOVE BLOWS FROM REUNION
Episode 188: SELF-TORTURE
The days keep passing. Yudi no longer remembers, how long he had lived in the Shinto Kifune Shrine. Yudi only knows if he is familiar with the clergy servants and also the miko. Of course, the familiarity is formed because Yudi is a good person, not selfish and not arrogant. Yudi enjoyed hanging out with the workers at the temple. Hence, the workers, the priests and the miko were also pleased with Yudi.
Until one day, Yudi was approached by one of the miko women, and the miko said to Yudi, that he should not think too much about his wife, Yuna.
"Jibun o gomon shinaide kudasai" said the woman who forbade Yudi to torture himself. Life is not for sadness. Life is not for prolonged worry. Life is not about thinking things that are too hard to reach. Do not dream that is beyond reason the ability and will of the god. Life is to serve the Creator, with all its consequences.
Yudi was aware of the words of the Miko. Many people believe, if the miko has magical powers, including being able to understand one's fate. But that is if the body or body of the Miko is being possessed by a god. But at least, Yudi believes that if there is a miko who advises him, it must be good advice. Not only the advice of the miko, but all the priests and workers in the Kifune Temple, even anyone who advises, Yudi still considers that the advice given is good. Even so far, Yudi has received a lot of advice and guidance from pastors he met.
But hearing the words of the miko, if he was forbidden to torture himself, Yudi was still confused. Self-torture as intended by the miko.
Actually, Yudi wanted to talk to the miko who gave advice so that he did not torture himself. However, in the temple it is not appropriate to talk a lot or talk a lot. Moreover, Miko is a woman, certainly not appropriate for Yudi to talk to women. The words of the Miko that is now precisely the thought of Yudi.
Day and night Yudi thought of the meaning of the word "don't torture yourself". During the day, when he cleans the temple grounds, or does other work, he does not escape the mistakes he always experienced. Starting from a trivial thing, when sweeping, there are still leaves left because they were missed from the broom. Although no one reprimanded, but after Yudi put a broom and other cleaning tools, he again took a broom, to clean the page that still has dirt.
In the temple, no one blamed anyone else. The pastor never blamed the worker nor the miko. So in that temple, no one was scolded for a mistake. Only the person himself knows that he is wrong. Only he knows personally that he is wrong. That is the peculiarity of life in the Shinto Kifune Shrine.
But Yudi's life, which has been more than two months in the Shinto Kifune Shrine, he has been trained by the examples given by the priests. The example of living in truth without being flaunted, the example of doing good that does not need to be told to everyone. Conversely, when these people do the work there is a shortage, then as soon as possible he improves, as quickly as possible to finish, without being known by others.
Although there was no reprimand, although not scolded, Yudi immediately took his broom back, to clean it again. If there is any visible garbage into the river, Yudi immediately ran to pick up a crooked tool, to lift the garbage from the river. Such things are always done by other temple workers. Hence the river within the temple was completely clean and clear. Thus, colorful koi fish look beautiful and attractive. Not only that, if there are people who approach, whether it is priests or temple workers and guests who want to do worship, the koi fish seem to come to block with hospitality.
Just because of the miko's words about self-torture, now every night, Yudi can not sleep, he pondered, thinking about the meaning of self-torture. Though Yudi has been able to control his emotions, has been able to leave various things related to worldly life. Yudi never hurt himself. What did he do that included self-torturing behavior? There is still something wrong what else he did, so classified as acts that torture themselves?
As a result of thinking too much about the words of the miko about self-torture, clapping on Yudi who is not eating enough and lack of sleep. As a result, Yudi fell ill.
Kannushi Negeri, who was already familiar with Yudi, tried to open the door of his room. Kannushi saw Yudi's body, which was still covered on a tatami mat, shivering. The kannushi immediately holds Yudi's body, which turns out to be feverish. So the neighboring Kannushi also immediately asked for help from other workers to help Yudi who was sick with fever.
"Sugu ni atsukaimashou. Yudi wa byokidesu" said the young priest of the Neighbor to the workers who had come to Yudi's room, telling him that Yudi was sick, needing immediate help.
So the workers immediately lifted Yudi's body, taken to the healer's treatment room. In that room, Yudi was laid down on a tatami mat. A rather old priest, rested near Yudi's body. Then stick a cloth on his forehead, like a compressed child. Then the priest looked up, praying for guidance from the God of Healing. Then the priest's hand held the sole of Yudi's foot.
Yudi who touched the soles of his feet, was seen moving his body as if protesting if the feet were sewn feels very painful. Yudi looks troubled. There is actually a sense of wanting to refuse. But it is powerless. Yudi was unable to say anything. Finally he resigned to what was done by the Pastor who treated him.
In just a few touches, Yudi was no longer rebellious. Now he feels the warmth. The heat energy from the priest had already flowed through the blood circulation throughout Yudi's body. Yudi now looks no longer shivering. Then I sat on the tatami.
Another young priest, who might also be a medicine expert, came bearing a cup of medicinal herbs in the form of a drink. In Indonesia this medicinal herb is called jamu. Then give it to Yudi to drink. Yudi drank. It is as usual as drinking Simbok herbal medicine.
Yudi's body had already become fresh. The fever is gone.
"Fuhitsuyona kangae de jibun o gomon shinaide kudasai" said the priest, who asked that Yudi not torture himself with unnecessary thoughts. Yudi should not think of things that need not be thought of. Life is sweet, if one does not think bitterly. Life is beautiful if people don't think badly. Live life without thinking about things you shouldn't think about. Torture yourself if we do things that have no benefit for life. So, do all useful deeds, so that you do not suffer.
Then Yudi gave an example, a lumping horse dancer who can eat a bell. Why do they eat the bells? What is the benefit of eating a glass? And what are the benefits to others after the lumping horse eats the shard? Is the bell useful and can be used to meet the needs of life?
Yudi started to open up. He began to get answers, what is self-torture. Not just suicide, not limited to self-harm, but also including thinking about things that do not need to be thought of, such as her who thinks of the words of the miko.
"Ah ..., outrageous si miko .... Because of his words, I thought about it, and eventually became ill. Why do I think about what people say?" muttered Yudi who had started to feel warm.