Love Coiled Stains
Requesting directions

I scrunched my forehead a little confused ad the new phone number coming in.

"Whose number?" Ask me in my heart.

"Hallo?" The sound of a flat voice across instantly made the heart beat fast. The same voice in that room.

The mind is traumatized in the heart. But I have to act as usual because soon he will be the leader in my household.

"Hallo, where are you...."

"Get your number? From Santi. It doesn't feel good that we're getting married but I'm not greeting my bride-to-be"

"Huh?" I round my eyes hearing the man's words just now.

"Don't GR just yet. I'm doing this is just my responsibility to you. My parents ask you tomorrow to come home. They want to meet you"

"Old man?" This brain is still difficult to digest because the mind is too much in it.

"Yes my parents. Tomorrow at 10 I'll pick you up"

"Well" I said, ending our conversation.

God is so cold in his attitude to me. Am I happy with him? I want to cancel this marriage that I had to go through. However, it is very impossible. With my current condition, who will accept it. Maybe there is a good person who will accept my current situation. But did his family accept me too with open arms? Sure didn't. They definitely don't want their son to marry a girl like me.

"Walking to her parents? Will her parents accept me? Or they'll be cold to me" One by one, questions started popping up in my brain.

"If they don't accept me, what should I do? Why is this so complicated?" I scream in my heart.

Of course I am very shy and less likely to meet rich people like them. I never even met and even recognized them. Of course it will make it difficult for me to make them accept me even difficult to make them like me.

I looked at the clock on the wall of my room, it was time to pray Isya. With a weak step towards the bathroom to take ablution want to recount the grievances in the heart with this complicated problem to the creator.

After finishing ablution I prepare my prayer equipment on the edge of the mattress. And began to perform his duties as a Muslim.

"O Allah, forgive me all my sins. Forgive your despicable servant. I really cannot face this problem, God. Shame and worthlessness have slipped into my heart. I am sorry, God, I am weak. I can't take care of myself. I'm sorry, God" Tears rolled down my cheeks. Pray with both hands for guidance and help from my Lord.

"God gave me strength. Hugged this fragile heart. Help me who is God" I asked Him for help again.

"O Allah, if Arga is the best for me, make our affairs easy, O Allah. And if otherwise, give me the best way out. Aamiin..." I'm ending my long prayer tonight.