LUCEM
LVII Chapter

"Do you think he'll die, Marbi?" I asked.

"I don't know, Mars" said Marbella, shaking her head. “He lost a lot of blood and he's an old rat. All we can do now is wait and see.”

Moonflower never stopped with James. But our wait is for an answer. James' breathing grew faster and faster, and there was a terrible crackling in his throat. I knelt down and placed his head on my palm as James' eyelids moved faster and he opened his eyes slowly. Staring at me gently.

"Goodbye" whispered James. Then he exerted all his strength and waved one of his front legs towards me.

James must know he's dying. He took his breath for the last one, stomped weakly from his tail, then slowly those friendly misty red eyes closed forever.

I can't believe our white rat died. I started talking to him. "Please don't die, James," I said quivering. “Don't leave me now.”

I saw Moonflower for help. His face was as white as the bark of a sycamore tree and the mist of sorrow in his eyes ripped back at my heart. He opened his mouth to say something but the words did not come out.

Feeling as cold as the polar wind, I felt a very cold chill along my back and neck, that's all I got up and stumbled onto the chair. Marbella came up to me and said something. His words were just a murmur in my ear.

The rat troop came and surrounded James' bed, staring at the old rat's body motionless. Jimmy sniffles. I can still see the blood that froze on the torn wound on the face of that handsome mouse. They're more hurt, not just me. I got up slowly.

Very gently I lifted the body of old James into a hug and carried him to the terrace. Followed by Marbella and the others.

My friend has left, he is dead.

I knelt on the wet ground, in front of a hole in the ground.

Moonflower came up to me, she said, "We did everything we could, but I don't think that's enough."

My eyes were as red as a saga but I did not cry as I squatted down James' body to the narrow ground in the courtyard. I couldn't avoid feeling that this was my own funeral, and I couldn't cry about it.

*

*

*

Hi. James.

Nothing will be the same after you leave. It won't. But we who live to keep breathing, still have to run even though it is different. As you always say 'life will go on' but it's still a little sadder because you're not accompanying us.

Now we gladly remember the times you told us things for our own good. We have learned from you your unconditional love.

All the good and happy things that keep happening to us, partly because of everything you taught us and we will never forget you, my friend.

You may never know that your sweetly traveling soul is sheltered in the depths of my heart and that there is no time, age, or other story, that will prevent you from remaining.

The path you follow, today they lead me to my path, I hope you know that I take you with me, like a golden lamp to light my path, I hope you know that your voice still penetrates my soul.

Gently highlight your light, sweet bonfire of your spirit. You're still alive a little bit because I'm outliving you.

I smiled, gently rubbing the wet ground in front of me.

Rest old James, see you again.

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⚪⚪⚪⚪⚪⚪⚪⚪James⚪⚪⚪⚪⚪⚪⚪⚪⚪⚪

Like getting a call, Mars got up from his chair and walked towards the door immediately. He was too enthusiastic and turned the doorknob and stepped onto the terrace. I had to run and jump to stop him, but it was as if it was too late.

I saw a black shadow overtaking Marbella and her army, charging towards Mars standing in the doorway. I screamed but for nothing, Mars flinching not to hear my voice or see danger. He waved towards Marbella. We witnessed different things, I realized that.

What I saw was Marbella running as hard as she could just before the black shadow hit the body of Mars standing tall, but she was still too late. Marbella moved very slowly and heavily as if the air was holding her back. I shouted with a small drawn sword, trying to dispel the black fog that enveloped the body of the young man who still showed his enthusiastic and worried face. But my old body got a couple of unchecked blows, over and over.

Marbella was like a slowed-down picture of life, she opened her mouth wide but neither me nor Mars heard anything from her. I got up, again crashing the dark air wrapped around me but my old body was slammed back like a dry leaf to the floor, trying to hold my chest as if there was a solid part of this self that was cracked or broken.

I kept getting up making the witness think all the attacks didn't hurt me, or at least I didn't make a sound of pain. I held my hand to my chest and felt my heart pound and fall. A column of air was pushed from my mouth and my body staggered then fell silent, and the floor welcomed my body. My right arm fell down even though I was trying to lift it back up. I was lying with blood dripping profusely from the gaping skin and flesh on my chest, warmly soaking down my back.

Lying on the floor, however I tried, Mars did not turn to stare, even for a moment. I then witnessed an unnatural conversation from Mars, he mentioned the name of the girl, Maria. The black fog did not leave her until Marbella's cat body jumped violently on the squeaky wooden porch. The cat girl was angry. Then I saw Mars falling on his knees, as the black smoke howled and soared away. I felt a sense of relief coming, but this body I could no longer control.

Bird girl touched me, there was warm and cold flowing together. I was lying on a bed that was too wide. The girl named Moonflower seemed to be expecting an answer from me, so I shook my head every time she invited me to a conversation.

People with grim faces, talking around me. Love warms my body which is cooling. Mars, my human friend.Our long adventure, Marbella's mischief, and the army of rats, faces that I recognize. I promise to take you away in this old heart.

Mars put his hand under my head that felt lightened, his eyes welled up. I don't know why I feel so happy, feeling so happy for his cry that he endured with all his might. I tried to make a sound, I knew it was time to go.

I whispered chasing the last air that would pass through my nose.

This is where time stops for me.

"Good bye."