Rainy Heart's
Chapter 17's

'Every day I wish that horrible time would never happen. I don't want to die and leave everything behind. I want to stay with you and build happiness until we age. I ask God that He give me one more chance to enjoy happy days with you. Give me a little more time, a little more! Then I'll do it, and prepare for the worst.... Give me a chance to get rid of this fear... Just once.... Just once....'

~Rainy Heart~

"I'm sorry... You know me?"

Juhyun was still sitting in that place with his head bowed perfectly. The sky had slowly turned a dark color. Juhyun still lingered in that place even though Kyuhyun had left. Tears dripped from his eyes after he had held back earlier, he did not want to cry. But he couldn't survive.

A sobbing sound came out from his mouth, Juhyun sobbed bitterly while covering his face with a palm. Her feelings were so cramped, sad, shattered upon seeing Kyuhyun like that. It was not that he did not recognize her, but that he felt that her friendship with Kyuhyun would be even shorter.

Juhyun was still crying loudly, he would spill everything here. Where no one knows him. He will wash away all this sadness. Cry with a heart that keeps praying. If Kyuhyun might soon disappear, he wanted to stay by his side until the last seconds of their togetherness.

"I don't like playgrounds, but you make me enjoy all these rides, you're awesome ajumma.... Thanks"

"This is going to be the best memory of my life! I won't forget it. But I didn't promise...."

His head lowered, he felt an unbearable pain in his chest. It was so stifling that he was unable to stop his crying.

"I beg..... I beg...." His words on the sidelines.

......

Kyujong stopped his car in front of the playground that Kyuhyun and Juhyun had visited earlier. His face looked worried, with immediately following his car followed by Marin. Ahra contacts him if Kyuhyun suddenly does not remember Juhyun, and leaves to leave him at the playground. On the other hand he worries about Kyuhyun, but he chooses to pick Juhyun back. Because Ahra said, Kyuhyun has arrived home safely.

Shortly after Kyuhyun left, Juhyun immediately contacted Ahra and asked to make sure Kyuhyun arrived safely. He didn't care about himself being alone on the playground.

Kyujong runs around in search of Juhyun's whereabouts, followed by Marin behind him

"We'd better split up..." Marin

"Yes..." Kyujong nodded and without any more intervention, they split up. This is a new place for Juhyun. And the playground will be closed in 15 minutes. The atmosphere is already deserted

"Yukyuan...! Seo Juhyun!!!" Kyujong is still running around calling Juhyun by name

Until a while later, he stopped his steps when he saw Juhyun still lowered his head perfectly on one of the chairs. Both of her shoulders were still shaking, indicating that this girl was still crying. Slowly Kyujong approached her, his face also implying a flurry. He knew how Juhyun felt, he must have been surprised. That's what he felt when Kyuhyun didn't remember him one time.

Slowly, Kyujong sat beside her. Saying nothing, in a gentle gesture, Kyujong placed his right hand on Juhyun's shoulder. Swiping and patting slowly a few times to calm him down

"I should have known from the beginning...." Isak Juhyun, Kyujong can not say anything, he is also late to know this reality

"He must be in a lot of pain..." Juhyun said back, and sounded increasingly bitter. Kyujong still patted that shoulder, this was all he could do to calm Juhyun down. His head was also hiding tears. Not far from them, Marin stood glued watching the two of them. Perhaps that woman that Kyujong liked, Marin smiled faintly, feeling envious of the woman.

---------

The sound of spirit-generating music flowed in that magnificent house. Kyuhyun seemed busy in the kitchen this morning, occasionally dancing to the beat of music. Although not good enough to dance. And sometimes he sang in a mediocre voice. This morning he'll make breakfast, an easy breakfast because he can't cook.

Just a toast he would fill with some vegetables and grilled sausage. That's all he can do. His sister was sleeping, he would definitely be happy when he woke up breakfast was ready at the dinner table.

This morning he will take a walk for a while before getting busy, exercising to refresh his body that feels heavy. He doesn't know why he feels so bad today. He also feels tired, maybe by exercising he can feel fresher.

Kyujong awakens to the sound of music, and, walking leisurely, he heads for the kitchen. He smiled when he saw his sister not giving up on making breakfast

"You still want to make breakfast for me?" Kyuhyun who was arranging vegetables on his bread looked at Kyujong and smiled knotfully

"Eoh..." In sum

"You want to exercise?" Asked Kyujong after taking a slice of tomato and eating it, Kyuhyun simply nodded

"You're gonna eat first?" Kyuhyun nodded again answering the question that came back out of his brother's mouth

"I'm hungry..." The speech invites Kyujong's laughter, then he rams Kyuhyun's hair in a puff before moving on. Kyuhyun seemed indifferent and kept doing his job.

Kyujong stopped his steps after closing the kitchen door and watched his sister silently. Kyuhyun remembered himself this morning, after last night he was acting like a stranger. Kyujong doesn't know if he remembers what happened yesterday or not? Kyujong sighed then moved.

From the kitchen, Kyuhyun looked at the older brother who left him. His eyes looked sad. Remembering yesterday had left Juhyun alone. He could not remember why he left Juhyun yesterday, but for sure, it was due to a disease in his brain. Kyuhyun sighed and lowered his head. The music was full of passion as if it meant nothing at the moment.

Kyuhyun was a little surprised as his phone shook. Immediately he received a call from Oh sajangnim

"Yya hyung....? Eohs... I'll exercise first, you can send someone to pick me up! No. gabe... I'm just getting into my own car... Okay, hmm..." Kyuhyun immediately finished his work and went out for a morning run.

----------

Juhyun was still in his room even though the sun had risen. He put his head against the wall. Yesterday's incident really shocked him. Maybe because it was the first time he felt it. It is different from Ahra or Kyujong. They may have been able to manage the feelings, but not with him, he felt very sad until now. What if Kyuhyun keeps forgetting about it? And still don't remember him?

Juhyun lowered his head and looked at Kyuhyun's signature which he put on his book. His hand gently stroked the signature

'Be an amazing mother no matter what. I admire you so much for that'

Reading the message made his tears trickle back. He quickly removed it. Since the door was open, he also straightened his seat. Ahra walked in and gave her a smile as warm as the morning sun

"Just rest if you're not feeling well...." Ahra

"No... I'll be out after this!"

"Don't force yourself! You look unhealthy today..." Ahra sat in front of him. Juhyun smiled soothingly

"I'm fine eonni (brother) I'm just surprised" Juhyun said quickly, as if he said it slowly, tears would precede him. Ahra sighed and patted Juhyun on the shoulder a few times, looking at Juhyun expectantly. He really hoped that Juhyun could persuade Kyuhyun

"Did Kyuhyun often experience this?"

"One day he knows who he is but forgets us, the other day, he doesn't remember who he is. And the other day, he forgot to make a plan? The doctor said, the further back Kyuhyun might lose all his memory. That's because the tumor in his brain has been pressing on his memory nerves....." Juhyun sighed softly, completely clueless as to what else to comment, only a sense of sadness infiltrated his chest at this moment

"Why doesn't he want to have surgery?" Juhyun asked again trying to toughen up

"The operation could not guarantee Kyuhyun could return to his normal state. There are many risks, he could be paralyzed, memory loss or maybe die on the operating table... But if it works, he can be pain-free..." Juhyun sighed back quite loudly and complained when he could not hide the sadness.

Juhyun quickly lowered his head so much that his tears were dripping down profusely. I don't know, his feelings raged erratically, he didn't even know what kind of feeling was more dominant. Ahra was equally sad. Juhyun exhaled loudly again and then stood up.

He stepped his foot out after sighing a few times. Can't he just him and wail like this! At least he had to do something that could distract his mind. Ahra looked at Juhyun's back wryly.

Juhyun took out a pair of gloves and walked towards the garden of the parlour. He will clean the weeds and also take care of the current garden. Distracting his feelings, maybe by busying himself he can feel better.

Now Juhyun understood. She understood why Kyuhyun was avoiding her. How kind-hearted the man was, he was willing to sacrifice in the midst of pain and despair just for a woman like her. Kyuhyun did not want to hurt her. But did Kyuhyun not think that Juhyun would get even more hurt if he found out everything after he had completely disappeared?

"Dumb kyuhyun!" Juhyun Grouse

---------

The sound of simultaneous applause rang out as soon as Kyuhyun entered the event room. Actually he was a little nervous, but he tried to smile kindly to those who took the time to look at him. Kyuhyun looked at all of them, there were so many people, he did not expect them to be this enthusiastic. His smile grew wider looking at all of that.

An MC started the show by having casual talks with Kyuhyun about the books he wrote. Especially this latest book

"Ah yes... Regarding your first work six years ago, there were many rumors that it was your personal story, so you decided not to reveal your true identity. Is that true?" Kyuhyun smiled before replying

"First of all, recognize me as Fourteen..." Kyuhyun smiled back

"I also heard about the issue, not all of what was contained in the book, was a personal story just because the story was so touching, so much so, I write about the problems that many people might experience. And for the reason that I use a pen name, it's easy, I just don't want my privacy space to be compromised..." Kyuhyun ended it with a smile

"True, exactly one month I was there, one thing that made me so admire the social conditions there, this book I honestly dedicated to a friend..."

"Love?" Kyuhyun laughed at the question but gave no statement

"So right?" The MC still demanded an answer from him

"Not" Kyuhyun replied with a smile.

As soon as he finished the talk session Kyuhyun continued his show to give autographs to everyone present, quite a lot and it would be a little tiring, but Kyuhyun seemed to enjoy. He did not expect so many people to appreciate his writing.

"Eoh... Stalker?" Kyuhyun said as he signed his last book.

Marin smiled, he was the last book owner Kyuhyun signed. Kyuhyun smiled at her as well.

"I mean Jang Marin.sshi..." Marin smiled wider

"I'm the last one, don't you mind if I have lunch together?" Marin

"You're the deal..." Kyuhyun pointed at him confidently

"All right..."

-----------

Juhyun sighed loudly when he finished his work well. The garden was clean and neat. He rested his body on a tree trunk that was there, sitting for a while to relieve fatigue. Since he started this morning, he has not rested his body. Someone thrust a drink at him, Juhyun turned his head and looked up at who it was. Then smiled wryly as he looked at Kyujong

"You okay?" Asked Kyujong while sitting next to him, Juhyun picked up the bottle and sipped it in half

"Slow down!" Kyujong exclaimed, Juhyun sighed after drinking the water with a slight lust

"Ahra says you're doing all this alone?" Juhyun nodded while muttering

"Are you sure you're okay?" Kyujong repeated his question again

"Yes..." Juhyun smiled soothingly at Kyujong

"You want to go for a walk?"

"Whoooo.... You got a lot of free time?" Juhyun smiled again

"It just so happens that I'm free today. Where are you going?"

"No, I'll be here" but this time Juhyun said it lethargic and lowered his head. When he was busy earlier he had forgotten his sadness, but once he was silent like this, he felt sad again. Kyujong looked at him with concern, he did not want to discuss Kyuhyun now, it would definitely add to Juhyun's sadness

"Want to eat something? I ordered!" Juhyun raised his head back and looked at Kyujong, then chuckled

"You are comforting your sulking son..." Juhyun spoke in between his laughter. In contrast to Juhyun, Kyujong looked at him with sadness.

It was obvious how much Juhyun wanted to laugh. Juhyun was still laughing until he finally lowered his head and just sobbed. He could not laugh, the longer his cries grew louder. Ahra's explanation just made her even sadder. Kyujong approached and held onto Juhyun's shoulder braced

"It's very hard to take it....." His issue with grief, Kyujong sighed then hugged this grieving girl and stroked her back slowly

"You can do it!" Kyujong said

"You want to see him?" Kyujong asked after taking off the hug, Juhyun shook his head. Juhyun was still unable to meet him. She doesn't want to cry in front of Kyuhyun now, and she doesn't know if Kyuhyun remembers her or not. He just wanted to calm down for some time to come.

Two weeks later.....

It's a weekend, but Juhyun seems relaxed and not busy preparing to go to Seoul. He took out his bike instead, planning to cycle around the village. Hyukjae is ready to leave. This week Juhyun decided not to come to the orphanage again. He still wants to calm himself.

He spent two weeks with the kids. Being with them completely fixed her feelings. About Kyuhyun's condition, maybe he was the only one who felt very bad. But he shouldn't feel so broken. Of course Kyuhyun is the most destroyed in this, shouldn't he be the one to encourage Kyuhyun? Because for Kyuhyun, only Juhyun did not understand how his condition was.

As Ahra said, he had to act like he didn't know anything. His job is to convince Kyuhyun without showing up if he knows Kyuhyun is sick. But can? Juhyun sighed, this is an arduous task. But he also can't delay time, the sooner the better for Kyuhyun. Juhyun sighed, thinking how?

"Eoh, you're not coming anymore?" The question resuscitated Juhyun from his daydream, he looked at Hyukjae flatly

"No, I'm not feeling well today"

"Ah... All right, you better take a break" Juhyun nodded and smiled then took his bike.

"Not feeling well but going cycling?" Hyukjae

Kyuhyun sat quietly on a 'historic' chair in the orphanage garden. The chair had been a witness to his meeting with Juhyun after months of absence. And now, for almost a month he had not met Juhyun. After last week he did not come, Kyuhyun hoped Juhyun would come this week.

True he was waiting for him, he was waiting for the arrival of Juhyun. I don't know what he did to Juhyun at the playground two weeks ago, I don't know what he said, and what kind of attitude he showed to Juhyun two weeks ago. So that makes Juhyun do not want to come to the orphanage again. All he remembered, he had left Juhyun. Kyuhyun really did not remember the others.

Kyuhyun sighed then leaned back, he missed Juhyun. Not just this moment, because every day he misses her . But selfishness makes him unable to express that longing. Someone suddenly sat next to him, Kyuhyun turned his head enthusiastically

"Ajumma...!" Kyuhyun exclaimed enthusiastically while smiling widely. But his smile disappeared when sapdar instead of Juhyun was sitting beside him. Ahra laughed at his attitude and made Kyuhyun grim and then turned his eyes to another direction

"Hyukjae says he's not coming again today" Kyuhyun looked at Ahra flatly and sighed

"Did I make a mistake with him?" Ahra raised both shoulders

"Nobody knows what you were doing on the playground that day, but he got sad about it..."

"Did she decide to stay away from me after knowing everything?" Kyuhyun expressed the conclusion that was already in his mind after the incident at the playground. Although Kyuhyun did not ask Ahra if Juhyun already knew or not about his pain, Kyuhyun was sure Juhyun knew that, by his nature, Juhyun would not stay silent. He would definitely scrape various pieces of information about what had happened to him

"You think like that? So that's the kind of thought that pops into your brain when you miss?" Ahra looked at him deeply and asked cynically. If only Kyuhyun knew how Juhyun wanted to always be around him. In a fit of annoyance Ahra breathed a loud sigh

"You know Kyujong let go for you! He also hurt his own heart by letting go of the love he so desperately hoped for! Because he knows Juhyun loves you...!" Whether consciously or not, Ahra said that impassively. Actually, he was fed up with Kyuhyun's attitude that seemed to not care. Kyuhyun looked at Ahra inside as well and frowned

"Again think of yourself! Alrighty! These are your last moments! If you choose to die this way, don't you want to fight for your own happiness?"

"Missy?"

"It's up to you to die in what way, but don't burden us any more by making us your priority! You also have happiness that you must strive for, so I beg of you.... We've been very happy, especially Kyujong, with your return as his sister, that's enough for him... I beg...." Ahra said in a softer voice and lowered her head, crying silently.

Both of Kyuhyun's eyes heated up suddenly, tears welling up in his eyes. Kyuhyun sighed while looking down and along with that his tears trickled down. Everything Ahra said was deeply in her heart. Ahra came closer and hugged her sister. Kyuhyun's shoulders trembled withstanding the cries that might be about to break.

"Live happily while you can....."

Rainy Heart'sChapter 17's

Rainy Heart's
Chapter 17's