THE SOUND OF LOVE
What's the News (?)

...Even the pure and simple truth ...

...Are never simple and rarely pure. ...

...Oscar Wilde - ...

...*** ...

"Gue did not expect Lis, you can volunteer yourself to apologize someone sincerely" said Aldira who walked side by side with me in the hospital with a proud look.

"Dir, am I sorry Daisy? I myself doubt the same word you said earlier 'Tulus'. I'm still scared" I said, looking down at the floor of the hospital corridor.

Aldira stopped his steps after listening to me. Her proud face faded away just like that, her smile changing with a breath that was hard to interpret.

"What are you afraid of Lis? Lo that's a great girl. Lo is great at waiting, fighting, enduring and forgiving. Faithful cannot be underestimated either. Not everyone can be like lo, you also never cry, you always cover all your pain and weakness with a mask of 'Ceria' as if you are a person who has no burden of life" aldira said annoyed while holding both my shoulders.

"Lo know Dir? Because of him for a year I became a monster. Cold, jutek, full of murderous aura and revenge. I covered it with the face of my angel. I'm afraid to be a Monster again Dir, I don't want. hiks... help me Dir, please" I said with a crystal clear bulb pooled in the eye fertilizers. Aldira could not even see me who looked messed up, he pulled me into his arms.

Mother said, stay a good person. Even if people abuse your kindness.

"We're going home, right?" Said Aldira who hugged me then immediately let go of her embrace. I nodded my head in response.

We walked back along the corridor to the hospital lobby before finally being in the hospital parking lot. After we found Aldira's car, Aldira got into his car first to start the engine of his car. I haven't had time to open the car's doorknob, my phone is clinking at the sign of a message coming in. My forehead shriveled in reading the contents of the message. I don't know why my smile came out.

Ttiiiinn...

The sound of the car horn restored my consciousness. I also turned my eyes up. Ck. Aldira is the worst person in waiting. I have to admit in every way he was fast but for the matter of waiting? Don't expect him to smile waiting for you.

Dear diary's..

Let me tell you about my story

I closed my eyes as a small hum permeated every word of the song that was playing on a radio broadcast. Aldira is still focused on the busy highway creeping into the night. Dusk has been sinking since a few hours ago.

I know it's rather sad

But that's the way I feel

Uh. If the story of my life could be summarized in a book, if every time I Fall to Broken I could remember to continue to learn, if every mistake that occurred in my life from A to Z clearly written, if every mistake that occurred in my life, maybe I can fix what can still be fixed, had my life story been summed up in a book I would have been so grateful to have had such a wonderful opportunity to see how great I was through all the process of growing up in any way. Seeing far more clearly the people who held my hand and the people who choked me until I felt how hard it was to get up.

Dear Diary's..

I don't know if this is right or not

****

24 December. 21.00 wib

"Who are? 1 2 3" the voice of the commando of the youth organization of the church.

Crack..

"Merry Christmas and Happy new year" we cried members and managers of my organization. In a photo session together. With dress code in red and green color do not forget the Christmas accessories attached to our bodies.

May I conclude? Yesterday was the past where I was forced to keep fighting, tomorrow was the future where I hoped my struggle would not find futility. But today is a boon for me where I feel every process I am required to continue learning to improve myself. That's why it's called now.

One day yesterday was enough for me to learn a simple word that is 'Sorry' a word that is often underestimated by people. The word is easy to say but in fact very difficult to realize. Many people make mistakes and then apologize and repeat the same mistakes. That's why the simple word is often underestimated.

After yesterday's incident there was a feeling of relief that evaporated just like that in my heart. Believe it or not it's the effect of the word 'Sorry' like water extinguishing a fire, like a thick cloud covering a pungent sunbeam, like the wind blowing carrying a splash of rain that hit your face. Peace.

"Eh, Lis? Can you bring a Christmas tree to my car, right? Sorry to take" said someone who was dismantling a Christmas tree that was only half a meter tall from a Christmas tree is usually a big one.

"Oh, yes, brother. Which car is it?" I was confused to see the four-wheeled vehicle.

"Black wigs, license plate B198xxx beside Avanza veloz silver. Here's the key" he said again while throwing his car keys. He is the head of the church organization. I forgot her name but she knows mine, embarrassing.

I also caught the car keys nimbly then rushed to the parking lot with two bags of jumbo paper bag containing Christmas tree decorations. When viewed from afar it is not comparable to me who is tiny.

Suddenly I felt my burden reduced because there was a burly hand belonging to someone taking over the paper bag on my left. Surprised I turned my head and found someone smiling at me while raising both eyebrows.

"Can't you make my heart stop beating?" My lips go to someone who returns my words with a laugh.

"Welcome back" he said as he pulled both corners of his lips up.

With a sudden movement he pulled me into his arms. A few seconds later the two paper bags fell to the ground covered with hard cement. Luckily the parking lot was not so crowded.

Unconsciously there was a pair of eyes watching us from a distance. I do not know for sure who because the night conditions are very dark and the parking lot is only illuminated by pole lights.

"Bright. So it's a waste of me chasing after her?" with his eagle eyes watching the girl being hugged by that person. It's free that he chased the girl down here. There was a feeling of disappointment that spread throughout his body, making him clench his jaws hard and throw his gaze in all directions. Feeling unwanted in his presence, he decided to go back into the building.

"Frans.shame to know about people" I said with a look of annoyance while releasing his embrace.

"Iyaaaa sorry" he replied as he ruffled my hair slowly with a smile.

"Well, take a look. It's getting higher now?" I said as I looked from the bottom up.

"Are you shorter, brother?" He said interspersed with a booming laugh. I was also annoyed by his words, I just stepped on the reflex shoes that wrapped one of his legs and walked leaving him towards the black pajero car. He groaned and a few seconds later stepped wide to equalize my steps.

After finishing putting the two paper bags, we walked back into the building to return the car keys to the owner. No one opened the conversation, we walked in silence. Shut up with our own thoughts.

"Hm.. The cil? It's still Christmas Eve. Can I get something from you?" His sudden words annoyed me as well as surprised.

"Can I have a second chance to be the one you're hearted about?" He said he stopped his steps while looking at me intensely. His words managed to hit me like something was clogging my breathing. I was just flinching in place too.

Second time?

I thought we could never love someone whole on a second chance. Repeating the same sheet? Like trying to reset the time for example. I don't think I can. We can never really walk backwards when our hearts are so far ahead, each of us is always trying to walk forward to find new things, new stories and new places to stay. Returning to the heart that had stopped for me was like reading a book that already knew what the end would be like.

"So what's Cil?" He said he was still waiting for my answer. I breathed a heavy sigh too, it was a very heavy choice.

"Gue can't. Why did you come at the wrong time? I'm still the same Agas, I think you know that too" I said in a raucous voice. And then, silent, no one spoke back into the building. I decided to go home and calm my troubled mind.

This is wrong.Our meeting was a mistake.

When I got home I walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water and took it to my room. I got the lyrics to my bedroom wall clock, exactly eleven o'clock at night. I rushed to the bathroom to perform a bedtime ritual such as cleaning and washing my face and brushing my teeth. My clothes have also changed into thin T-shirts and shorts.

Tonight I want to write something that touches my heart. I put myself in my portable chair and turned on my laptop. I sipped half a glass of water next to my laptop.

You never know what time you remember. You never know that in my heart I will never forget. But I understand it's just a memory coming home, they always call it 'Hindu'.

There will be a day when we miss someone who has been in our lives. There are many reasons to come and we cannot refuse them. Missing is not an opponent to be dropped, longing is a gift from him that has been missed.

I stopped my finger to gulp down the water in the glass. Then the events of a few hours ago replayed in my memory. Since his return to Indonesia, he turned into an annoying figure but the comfort he caused was still the same. His words were still fresh in my mind like something buzzing in my head.

You know what not? Pulling back that feeling is more difficult. The feeling that had already fallen was so difficult to pull back. It's harder than when I chose to drop it. Then giving you a chance back was something I didn't expect.

Somewhere else..

"Lo why the hell? I have since watched silence. Not as usual" asked someone on a man who focused on paying attention to the street that was only decorated with street lights.

"Not papa. Thinking work. I'm sailing to Italy for a year. But before that there is business that I have to finish" replied the man Calista secretly loved but until now they were both unaware that they were both waiting for each other.

"Gue knows now what the problem is" said the woman, who is three years older than him. Mario took a quick glance at his beloved brother and then again focused on the streets.

"Don't rush into decisions. If it feels difficult to be approached better not now. Maybe it wasn't time you and her were together" her sister's speech was like a bell ringing loudly in a deserted passageway. But there is also a point in his brother's words.

"She's still a girlfriend but many are still desperate to get closer to her, I doubt if I have the same opportunity as them?" Mario's anxiety finally evaporated. She could never really keep anything secret from her brother.

"Don't be afraid you'll lose him or the chance to own him. Don't be angry at people who are trying to steal it from people who are currently their choice. They would all lose if indeed you were someone who would grow old with her" the sweet woman's words were able to calm down as well as restore her confidence back.

"Maybe right. It's not time for me to get into her life now" said Mario with the corners of her lips pulled upwards.

****

Mentari was slow to get out of his shade. This morning I would love to breathe some fresh air before preparing to go to college. With my face not fully awake, I rushed to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth before going down to have breakfast together. Things very rarely happen.

The dining table is complete. There's a dad with his morning paper not to forget the glasses perched on his nose. My mother who was tidying up her makeup after finishing breakfast and Kirana who was busy studying to enter the state college, while waiting for hours to go to school. A few weeks ago he had missed the thing that school children feared was UN.

"For all" I said to the busy people at this dinner table. They stopped for a moment to greet me back. I also only drink a glass of warm milk because I did not really want to eat breakfast.

"You're still in touch with that guy Lis?" My mother asked with a serious look and everyone at the dinner table looked at me.

"Ck. He's my girlfriend ma'am" I said as I rolled my eyes, lazy. The talk that I and my mom have been talking about lately.

"Why are you still in contact with him? You both know that your beliefs are different?" Oceh my mother to the point with a tone of intimidation. My father who was on the neutral side did not want to get involved then said to immediately leave for the office and Kirana also wanted to go to her friend's house to leave together. We are both the ones who are hard.

"I've had a long time, ma'am, not just now. My future is long too. I don't want to take another misstep in the future so I can't for now" I said fixed on my stance.

"You are the one wasting your time. I hope you will never disappoint me again. Later." My mother then passed by to go to the office. And now I have to look at everything myself.

I'm just someone who tries to convince myself that to find the right heart doesn't have to hurt a lot choose to fall on the wrong heart.

Am I wrong?

"Hallo.. Dir's? Today, use your car first, right? I have a lot of fear of not focusing. Not until the campus, but later even to the hospital" I told someone across the street by telephone. After Aldira agreed, we cut off the phone. I went back to the dinner table for breakfast before getting ready for college.

A few hours later Aldira arrived at my house. And I was neat and ready to leave, finally Aldira's car sped out of my yard.

"Today Jihan and Ivanna moved out. Hmm, let's go back to college and help them, shall we?" Said Aldira who occasionally glanced at me.

"Yes yes, Dir" I replied still looking out the window blankly.

"Who wants to talk about it?" Aldira's question made me want to shed my anxiety.

"Why is my problem coming so hard?" My answer is more on questions for myself.

"His name is alive. Do you know the term 'Life is Never flat' ? Life will be more exciting if there is a challenge Lis" replied Aldira with a smile.

"Why is the courtship of different beliefs is always in question by many people? Isn't all belief good? I think all faiths teach love to each other" I finally confided in Aldira.

"They? It's hard to answer for this one. Maybe you actually have found the answer, it's just that you don't want to bother. I tell you Lis, who is not necessarily as he-se said, as heart-se soul loh." Said Aldira trying to calm me down.

"That's Dir, I just.. Hmmm Frans has returned to Indonesia, he continues to ask me to give him a second chance. This morning I had another debate with my mother, she wanted me to stay in Agas. I can't Dir. All make my head feel like it's gonna break." I said as I rubbed my huffed face.

"Lis, maybe your parents have a point. Remember Lis not all parents are wrong. They definitely want their children to be happy" Aldira's words further dilemma me.

"Dir's almost 7 years of life and separation without cause is not a mature thing" I said as I exhaled heavily.

Happy Reading guys 😄