THE SOUND OF LOVE
The Dream Was Pursued Not On The Pendam

...Best friends not only ...

...accept yourself as you are, ...

...But also support you ...

...to be what it should be. ...

...*** ...

Ivanna hasn't been in college for a week. I heard that when I didn't get in, she wasn't even in class and wasn't even in the classroom. Jihan is very worried about her condition, even though they are one boarding house but their rooms are separate. This is what makes Jihan worried.

He said every time Ivanna came out of the room, her eyes were puffy and soft. Dark circles around his eyes. Who does not panic to see the situation of this other friend is very chaotic. Her hair is sometimes left messy and her eyes appear blank when spoken to.

"Couldn't after college we go to my boarding house first? Look at Ivanna. I'm afraid she's stressed or worried" the excess worry dominates her aura at the moment. It seems that he is not lying and sincere. I'm really worried about Ivanna.

"Well, really, I didn't get in two days ago and he didn't come in?" I wondered at the news I heard.

"Yes" they answered in unison. I also seem to think, actually what is being experienced or faced by our friend.

"But before that I want to meet the lecturer first huh? Kaprodi nanyain reportedly Ivanna" sounded a nervous sigh when Jihan said it.

"Just find out something" Aldira said. Jihan and I looked at each other, are our thoughts the same as Aldira's?

Today our lecture schedule is very solid in addition to material giving. There are group discussions, practices, presentations and further additions to individual tasks. Tired up? Sure. But how else? It all has to be done without complaining as a student. Moreover, in another year and a half we will be more busy with the name of thesis as the final task of Students.

After the lecture ended I, Aldira, also Jihan walked in the hallway of the faculty to the lecturer's room to meet bu Sari. But since only Jihan was needed, we both ended up waiting for Jihan outside with curiosity and anxiety.

A few minutes later, Jihan came out of the lecturer room with a face that was difficult to read. It frustrates me, so much my curiosity. But I swallowed it all back before we got to the parking lot. We walked in silence, no one wanted to open the conversation as well as me.

"We don't talk here, do we?" Pinta Jihan, interrupted our silence earlier.

"Yaudah come in my car" I said, setting off the car alarm to unlock the automatic safety. We also headed for the white brio.

The smell of mint-clad cherry came out as the car door opened and we sat comfortably. Then I turned on the car's engine to get the coolant working. Luckily the aroma of this mint-clad cherry relaxes us.

"So how's Han? Find anything?" Aldira was impatient. Make Jihan seem to think before opening her voice.

"Yes that was Sari nanya, why didn't Ivanna come in for a week without explanation?" Clearly Jihan with a frown on her forehead. We also listen carefully.

"She hasn't been paid this semester either" added Jihan who made us round our eyes to hear her speech just now.

"Seriously?" What kind of question do I ask. Obviously, Jihan said that.

"Certainly? Less how?" Aldira asked.

"I actually don't know, but if I don't hear it wrong about a million" Aldira and I were again surprised by Jihan's words.

"Can't you?" I half screamed in disbelief.

"Lis, nothing in this world is eternal. The wheel of life is always spinning, sometimes we are above tomorrow not necessarily we are still above. Are we healthy now, tomorrow? Don't know yet, right?" Is correct. Jihan's words are right. Man never knows what scenario the creator is devising for all his people.

We finally decided to end our conversation and began driving my vehicle out of the campus area to the boarding house of Jihan and Ivanna. Arriving at their boarding house we got out of the car, walked to the boarding gate and entered the house. Jihan stopped on one of the door leaves that had the name decoration of a wooden board with the inscription Ivanna. Yes, this room is his room.

We knocked on the door repeatedly but there was no answer. When we tried to open the door, we were surprised that the door was left unlocked. We just walked in, sending our eyes in all directions. The smell of nicotine and tar spread in this place, the messy stuff here and there like it had just been hit by a devastating earthquake. We finally found what we were looking for.

"Ivanna" our parrot in unison made the girl sleep soundly disturbed. Ivanna also rounded her eyes when she realized our existence. With a pushy look he smiled, a smile wrapped in despair. I can see it.

We ran towards him and hugged him tightly. We know what he needs right now, he is falling and needs hands ready to help him get up. Now we know the worst things in his life. He was like a Dandelion that could melt instantly at this moment. In our arms we heard a small sobbing which then turned into a loud cry.

That day Ivanna told us everything about what really happened. About his family in economic crisis. Also about his father who strongly opposes him to be in touch with his girlfriend. All of this made him feel bad.

The worst things can happen in a person's life. That is part of the test, how you make your shortcomings work. Because man is not created perfectly by Him, so that we can continue to learn and develop into a better person.

Fall down to make you stronger when you get up..

****

My friends have taught me something I never got from any book. They told me about life, love and friendship. Something that I lost so long ago since a past incident that I cannot forget. Seeing the mistakes they made, I learned not to make the same mistakes.

"They? Your writing is great. No intention to write that book? Who knows, you might be a famous writer. I guess who is? Boy Candra, Dwita Sari, Dee Lestari, who's the other one.. Teri? The tera? Wh-"

"Tere Liye" I said cutting off his words.

"Well, that's Tere Liye" Anggia replied with a ruckus, making me shake my head in amazement at her miraculous behavior. I wonder what kind of man will be his soul mate?

"You want that Gi, but the hell time? Junk writing like this can be a book?" I laughed pessimistically at his words.

"Or don't you make a novel about your life story Lis. Itung-itung can be a memory item lo in the future, if it gets published and become a bestseller, I do not want to know anyway you have to sign my book first" I also seemed to think and then look back at my writings on my laptop screen.

"Lo sure I can be a writer? I'm confused where to start, because I still doubt if I can?" It was my complaint that made Anggia frown.

"Hey. Remember who was always there when me or the other friends fell? That's elo. Clutching their hands so they don't fall again? And you always say 'gapapa lo ngerasain fall so you know the meaning of rise' also this 'If the dream is not fit to sleep but fitting we wake up so we know how to reach it' who always motivates us? All that elo, Calista" teng. teng Anggia speech like bells ringing loudly spurred my adrenaline and burned my soul.

Dreams are pursued not harbored like feelings.

The head voice in my brain adds to my spirit to decide things. Maybe it will be a good start and hopefully it can be a wonderful end one day.

Ma'am. I hope you can be proud of me someday. I'm Calista not Kirana. I can't make you proud of me yet but someday.. I promise I'll see your smiles like you're smiling proudly at Kirana.

"May try tuh. tap-"

"Not yet tried but-but lo. Since when have you been complaining about Calistaaaa?" Cibir Anggia interrupted. I just clucked and pulled my finger back on the laptop.

Anggia was enjoying a snack while watching a movie in my room, today she stayed overnight because she was alone at home. Both her parents and her brother and sister were not at home attending the official event, she said. Anggia is not the type of girl who likes to frenetic party just like me.

"Oh My God's. Kissing action" I was stunned when I saw Anggia holding her breath during the scene. Instantly a pillow landed on my face but it didn't make me stop laughing at her behavior.

And although I never thought about it, I realized that what they said was true. I mean, I always write this diary. I also write a lot of poems, notes, emails and so on. I feel like I always write. I did it so often, that I never considered it a talent. Writing is just something I always do, like breathing.

But now that I know what my talent is, you can bet I'm gonna start sharpening it. And the first time I will write is my life story, about him that makes me know the meaning of broken to feel falling and love simultaneously. I don't have a lot of interesting stories to tell you about, but maybe my life story makes you realize that there are a lot of ways humans can achieve their happiness.

"Hey, Calista? Great writing on the blog. No intention to make a print version?" The clap of his hand on my shoulder made me look at him. Her name is Melda Sabrianti, my high school friend from High School. Oh no, no. He's not one of my conspirators, Diandra, Aldira or Agas.

"Melda" I said smilingly as I hugged her "Thank you? So embarrassed of me" I said by glancing at the situation around us that was crowded with people our age.

"Calista!!!" A loud voice with a wave of someone's hand. Rieska and Diandra. They also headed towards me.

"Kangeeeeen huh" I said as I hugged them hysterically. Then Aldira headed to our place after parking the car.

"Samaaa" they said in unison. "Aldira!!!" Then they also hugged Aldira hysterically. Then our laughter broke out.

State high school building 02 Gunung Putri Bogor was almost crowded due to the school pension event held in the school field. Not only that one generation we were invited to fill the excitement of the simple pension of our class brothers. Nope, no. Not a grand reunion but like a small reunion of our generation. Maybe the next year either time will be held a grand reunion of the entire force.

"Test 1 2 3. mic check. Test.. Hello all friends and all upperclassmen Second alumni of SMAN 02 Gunung Putri, please docked to the stage because the event will be started. Hope you all enjoy it, okay? Make the class brothers welcome and happy reunion" The echo of the sound that comes from the host, interrupting all activities around the stage and in all corners of this school. Then applause and cheers rumbled adding to the euphoria of the pension atmosphere.

We walked slowly to the stairs to go downstairs interspersed with small talk.

"So I have a writer? Cieee" said a little hijab-wearing woman, nudging my arm, embarrassing me. She is Rieska Fronella.

"Aldira? How come you're not surprised if Calista makes a book?" Diandra asked confused as she looked towards Aldira.

"Eh bentar pap first huh? For my girlfriend, don't believe she I'm the same as you guys" patiently Diandra assures.

"Surprised? Her hobbies are making drama, mostly ngayal and doyan really nulis diary. I'm not surprised if he makes a book. Moreover, this book is the story of his life, where there are also us again" explained Aldira at length. Hearing Aldira's explanation made me snort angrily.

"Yes but not in leaking also times, it will not be surprising again dong if published" Cibirku who got the weirdness of them all.

"If so in sunrise anyway we should get your signature first" cecar Diandra while sticking out his tongue. Finally we arrived in the middle of a crowd that enjoyed RnB and pop music shows.

"Iyaaa" I said to her as I chuckled followed by Rieska and Aldira.

"Hi, everyone" said someone near us. He is Daisy. By the way if you forget he is the source of the chaos that made my relationship with Agas unhealthy, as well as our friendship that was threatened with cracking.

Not cracked anymore but already broken Calista, you forgot?

Inner reminded. As hard as I can, I try to fight my inner self and act as if everything has passed. She turns out to be not alone there are Azizah, Maria, Faizhatul, Biyanka, Vera and Also Nurul. Remember we were ten? It turned out that after being out of touch for approximately two years, they had got a replacement to complete the missing one.

"Okay, everything. Finally we're complete too" Between me, Aldira and Diandra. Rieska is on the neutral side but I have to admit she is closer to them all. Me, Aldira and also Diandra just smiled at all of them.

We awkwardly tried to break the silence by hugging each other and trying to blend in amid the hustle and bustle of the excitement of the pension. No matter how much we try to improve our friendship, it still cannot be what it used to be. The atmosphere of the past conflict was still felt around me and her even though it was not as strong as before. Even the word sorry was not able to restore the situation as before, the crack was still there. Covering with anything without gluing back can improve the situation from the outside but what about the cracks in it?

Didn't I ever say? Friendship is like a mirror. Each of us can correct each other's mistakes. The mirror can crack if it falls and even breaks when not placed in the place it should be. It's not that I'm not sincere, but hey blame it on fate that has kept us close and friendly ever since we were in junior high school.

For a year I stayed away from him, carrying patches of wounds in my heart. I don't know if I hate him so much? I just don't want to get hurt with him anymore. I've known who he is for a long time, not just a day or two. But that time the situation was complicated. Circumstances forced me to lose and give in, with all the judgment they gave me that the guilty was me and that I was forced to admit to a mistake I knew nothing about.

They all only heard what they could hear without ever being able to understand. What if my position is exchanged for them? How does it feel to be friends since Junior High even very close and become friends, then it is considered like your own family but it turns out that one day the person you think like your own family is very close to your crush who in fact is now your boyfriend. Often chat, joke together until photos of both. Just two. It so happens that you and your betrothed have been officially made more than half a year at that time? Even though your own best friend knows that his status is only "Friends" for your crush and that guy is your "Boyfriend.

How you feeling? Can you tell I'm not sane? Angry is unclear. Then how would you feel if you knew when you were in conflict Your friend wrote something on his sosmed with his own version then many people you know as well as your Junior High School teachers judge you are wrong and very childish. Worse yet strongly defended his version of the story, how? And you can only endure the pain that is somehow deep.

But now I'm grateful that he made me find my reason to grow up, to be a tough person, a better person and for sure I found my talent, a talent I never realized. It's ridiculous, I feel like I want to thank him infinitely for a life lesson from him about the meaning of friendship.

If Failure is like Rain and Success is like the Sun, then you need both to be able to see the Rainbow.. Right now, maybe those colors are being painted one by one in my life.

****

The twilight spray hung on the ceiling. I turned my head to stare at the vast expanse of orange patches by resting the folds of both my arms on the balcony divider of the classroom hallway. I was enjoying the twilight from the second floor of this building. People are still enjoying the music jerking down there.

I felt a possessive circular burly arm on my waist. I flinched straight to look back. I found a male figure smiling sweetly at me with a scent that I memorized very much. The aroma of honey wrapped in mint. He is Agas.

"I've been looking for you" he said, sticking his forehead to my forehead.

"I've been here Gas, not anywhere" I said with a smile looking at him. Unknowingly my hand gently caressed her cheek up to her jaw. Makes Agas close his eyes enjoying my touch.

Long time we were silent in a position like this then the music was changed with the strains of soft jazz music to make the couples down there do mass dance. No exception me and Agas.

"Will you take my hand, my princess?" While bowing half the royals and extending a hand, Agas offered himself with a smile.

"With pleasure, my lord" I replied as I bowed half-heartedly before grabbing her hand with a smile. Then we move our bodies to the music.

We just move lightly to the right and to the left. Without realizing it my hands have been curled sweetly on Agas' neck as well as Agas who semangkin tightened his circle of hands on my waist. All we did was move according to the music without talking just looking at each other and smiling.

If this is a dream, please don't wake me up.

Thats enough. Just like this alone it felt like it was enough to complete everything. What other happiness do I still want to pursue? Because when I ask to be happy, God has answered through you. Agas Cokrodinoto's.

"Don't go Lis" he said suddenly still looking at me intensely.

"I'm here, Gas" I said again, hugging him and moving to the right and to the left to follow the music.

"Never say 'Goodbye' to me, never" he said again, increasing his embrace on my waist and drowning his head in my neck and kissing it softly.

"Gas? It's not me who will say that later but time will act. We never know in the future. Don't ever say that again" I said as I tightened my arms and inhaled the voracious scent of Agas.

"Let me be the reason you are sad, angry, disappointed and happy Lis. Because I don't want anyone else who can do all that in your life" she whispered and then kissed the top of my head long ago.

I don't know what good I did in the past so I get something I never thought I would. I am so very happy that he was born to be next to me, accompanying my days to this day.

"Thank you for being born into this world, Gas" I whispered. Then Agas pulled his body away from me reducing our embrace and grabbed my chin and started********my lips very gently as if a small gesture could crush me. I don't know why dusk and Agas are the most beautiful things I've ever had.

Happy Reading guys 😄