Till The End Of Time [Inuyasha Fanfiction ]
Chapter 142's

Rin opened her tightly shut eyes. The first time he felt was all his bones and body that were painful and aching. Closing his eyes again, he tried to endure the pain and pain that attacked him.

"Ri."

The soft voice that called out his name immediately made Rin re-open her eyes. Looking to the side, he saw Sesshoumaru staring at him. Smiling weakly, the human woman raised her right hand to touch the inuyoukai ruler of the western lands. "Sesshoumaru-san..."

Sesshoumaru moved quickly, he immediately caught the hand outstretched to him. Closing his eyes, in silence, the inuyoukai kissed the back of the palm was strong, as if afraid of losing it.

The warmth of the lips that touched the skin of his hand, Rin could only keep smiling. There was a lot he wanted to say, but, he also did not find the strength to say it.

"Are you happy now, Rin?" ask Sesshoumaru later. Opening his golden eyes again, he stared intently at Rin without letting go of the hand he was holding.

Rin's stunned. But he did not answer. His two brown eyes only stared back at Sesshoumaru's golden eyes.

"Are you satisfied?" ask Sesshoumaru again. His voice remained flat and calm, there was not the slightest change as if emotionless. However, Rin could see inside the golden eyes that the—inuyoukai was angry.

Smiling again, Rin moved her right hand out of Sesshoumaru's grasp. Moving up, his fingers gently touched the cheeks of the inuyoukai. "In Rin's eyes, Sesshoumaru-sama is forever always calm, cold and strong.."

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and again caught the hand on his cheek. He could not say anything to Rin. Anger in his heart, disappeared without a trace— why he hated his helplessness that would never be able to anger the human woman in front of him.

"Rin loves your figure the most like that" a smile remained fluffy on Rin's face. Both of his eyes softly stared at the figure of the man he loved more than his own life. "Therefore, don't change just because of a Rin..."

Sesshoumaru still did not say anything. He also had no power to say a word. Does Rin not understand? After everything that happened, why did he still say this? Doesn't this woman know the meaning of her existence in the world of an inuyoukai named Sesshoumaru?

"Sesshoumaru-sama," call Rin slowly. The smile on his face continued to expand, but his two eyes that always sparkled happily were unable to hide the sadness that was present. "If Rin knew it would be like this, Rin wouldn't have received a sign from you—"

"Rin!" cut Sesshoumaru. His eyes opened, staring in disbelief at the human woman before him. What did he mean just now?—does he regret being with her now?

"Rin doesn't want you to know what Rin went through." Rin continued. The smile on his face was soft yet at once full of unspoken sadness. "Rin wants you to always be the one Rin loves..."

Mark.

The mark on the crescent-shaped collarbone was bluish-black, just like the mark on Sesshoumaru's forehead. The sign that connects them, the sign that proves to the world that the inuyoukai chose her from all the women in the world—sign that she is the legal partner of the ruler of the western land.

A sign so meaningful and sacred in the youkai world, for Rin who is an ordinary man, that sign is his pride; his happiness.

But now, that blunder turned into a knife pierced him, and happiness turned into; regret. If he knew this eventually, if time could be replayed, then Rin would really choose not to have this mark. Because then the golden eyes that are so loved will not be full of sadness and despair.

Don't know how much he's suffering, don't know what he's going through.Don't be sad for him, don't be desperate for him. Rin wants Sesshoumaru to know nothing, wants inuyoukai it just always knows he's okay; that he's always happy.

"Rin," Sesshoumaru's voice came back. This time it was cold and full of orders. "Shut up."

Closing his eyes, Rin chuckled and said nothing more. In their long and short togetherness, for the first time, he did not want to see the face of Sesshoumaru— did not want to see such golden eyes again.

Sesshoumaru also did not say anything more. Holding Rin's hand with both hands and sticking it on his forehead, he also closed his eyes.

Of all that exists, he is only grateful for one thing now, namely; his Rin is still beside him. The human woman is still breathing and living—still exist in this world.

Sesshoumaru's memories could only return with what he saw not long ago. Rin, who was lying unconscious on a futon as the wealth closed the room, had a pale face without blood, an icy body and a slowing heart rate.

Then, his words just now—how should Sesshoumaru behave now? Is that happiness? She no longer knows—when will their nightmare be over?

....xoxOx....

Jinenji dwells in a pile of documents, reading and trying to find answers to Rin's situation. However, until now, he had still not found the answer he wanted.

Rin's.

Jinenji really doesn't know what happened to Rin. He had never seen or heard of the human woman's condition before, even Inukimi and Kagome who had extensive knowledge of medicine did not know.

Jinenji felt very guilty now. He is the one Sesshoumaru trusts directly to look after Rin. However, now, the human woman is in such a dangerous and uncertain condition.

"Jinenji-san." The sound of Kagome's call suddenly rang out, making Jinenji turn his head staring at the source of the sound.

"Kagome," Jinenji replied softly as he smiled at the future miko who walked over to him. "What's up?'

"Rin-chan is conscious." Answer Kagome. He did not smile back at Jinenji's smile as usual.

"Oh," surprised for a moment, Jinenji then asked again, but the difference this time, there was no more smile on his face. "How is Rin-sama?"

Kagome did not answer the question directly. Silently silent for a moment, he then sighed. "Rin-chan, she." he said and closed his eyes. "The body is getting weaker. She was even weaker than when she was pregnant with Shura."

Jinenji did not say a word hearing Kagome's reply.

"Rin-chan didn't say or explain anything about what happened" Kagome continued. His face was full of sadness. "She just keeps smiling and says she's okay."

Counted, Meido seki twice shone and locked Rin in a fortune. What happened no one knows, but from Sesshoumaru's explanation as well as Rin's condition when the kuniki opened, they all knew that something unexplained had happened.

Sickness, curse, magic or whatever, no one found the answer, then, the person in question also did not want to explain. What really happened?—they just found a dead end.

"Kagome," call Jinenji slowly then. "What do you think is wrong with Rin-sama?"

Kagome was silent, she did not know what to answer. Closing him he sighed again. "I don't know, Jinenji-san," opened her eyes again, she smiled wryly. "And I really wish I knew."

"You know, Kagome," Jinenji replied softly and even riled up. Examining Rin carefully this morning, he realized something that neither Kagome nor Inukimi had realized until now. "Rin-sama's heart doesn't stop as suddenly as it did when she was pregnant with Shura-sama. But, his heart is now beating very slowly, no matter what we do. Then, his whole body was also getting weaker as if his body and organs were slowly starting to stop functioning."

"You mean?" kagome asked in surprise, her eyes wide open staring in disbelief at Jinenji.

"If Rin-sama's condition doesn't change, it's most likely that his body will be completely paralyzed."

....xoxOx....

"Forgive your mother to worry you, Shura," said softly, Rin kissed Shura's forehead who was now in her arms. Sitting on top of the futon with Sesshoumaru behind her, she gave a small smile. "Sorry for making you cry."

Shura who felt the touch and also heard Rin's voice, laughed. Raising her two little hands, she touched her real mother's face slowly.

Rin laughs and sticks his forehead to Shura's forehead. Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to feel the warmth of her beloved son's little hand. "Old, whatever happens," little Rin smiled "Never cry my son from the west. Rin wishes you'd been smiling and laughing your whole life.."

Sesshoumaru did not say a word hearing Rin's words. With both hands coiled around her slender waist, she just silently stared at the human woman who looked so weak with their son.

Twice the attacks experienced by Rin had made his body become very weak and not powerful. Just to sit up, he seemed to have a hard time. His face was deathly pale without blood and his voice became very slow. He smiled and said he was okay.

Its alright.

How Sesshoumaru hated that simple word now. He can only hear and can not do anything even though he knows, the fact that it is okay is actually my— is not okay.

Rin's lying, everybody knows. However, the mask was full of smiles and laughter that he wore so well, making everything there could do nothing but join in; the audience.

Angry, disliked, hated and also desperate—Sesshoumaru has shown it all, hoping Rin will come to her senses and stop this unfunny play. However, until now, everything still remains the same—the existing theatrical performances still continue.

Rin who played with Shura could clearly tell what Sesshoumaru was thinking behind him now without looking. However, he could only keep smiling and ignore her. Rightly or wrongly, he really doesn't know anymore. Therefore, all he could do now was just continue on with what he had done.

"Mother is fine, Shura," Rin chuckles and once again kisses Shura softly on her forehead. "If in the future... If your mother is back separated from you and is in kunahi—assume we are playing hide and seek. Mother hid and you searched..."

Sesshoumaru still did not say anything, but his hands that were on Rin's waist tightened.

Increasingly tightened his embrace, Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and stuck his head on his shoulders in silence.

"Waiting for her mother to open the door and look for you." - keeping her face away from Shura's face, Rin's eyes gently look at her son. "Wait for us to gather again like this..."

Clenching his jaws tightly, Sesshoumaru tried to control his raging feelings.

"Mother is not going anywhere. Mother will always stay and come back to you." lifting her face, Rin held Shura in the chest. Closing his eyes slowly, he leaned his head against Sesshoumaru's head. "You can do this for Rin, right?"

Rin—Sesshoumaru's question knows, it's actually directed at him. The human woman wants if the incident is repeated again, she will not do anything and just sit idly by waiting for the wealth that is open—a very cruel request, right?

"Mother loves you, Shura. Love you so much, just like your mother loved your father." murmured Rin softly. "Rin will love Sesshoumaru-sama and Shura— forever and always..."

The word love spoken, forever and always—it is not a lie, Sesshoumaru knows it. But, the love that exists, now so heavy—the consequences of loving, how scary in this world.

Tock-a-tock

The sound of the knocking shoji door was heard along with the voice of Jaken behind it. "Sesshoumaru-sama, Rin-sama, the servant brought the medicine to Rin-sama."

Sesshoumaru remained silent saying nothing, but his pair of golden eyes that were closed immediately opened.

"Come on Jaken-sama." Reply Rin slowly. Opening his eyes, he raised his head and returned to his starting position.

Opening the shoji door slowly, Jaken walked in with an established in hand. On top of the well-established, a bowl filled with black liquid medicinal herbs for Rin.

Jaken did not say anything, but ever since the door opened, his two worried eyes stared fixedly at the figure of Rin who was so weak in front of him.

"Jaken-sama," little Rin smiles. Both of his eyes looked gently at the figure of the frog youkai in front of him. "Sorry Rin has troubled you.."

Stop walking and stand right in front of Rin, Jaken gulps and starts to get angry. "What's your look now?? You are a Kisaki and also a mother now!! You need to get well quickly and get back to how you were!!!"

Rin's eyes widened in shock at Jaken's words. However, for a moment he smiled again. "Yes, Rin knows, Jaken-sama."

"Don't just know!!" reply Jaken again. His voice rose, he was not afraid in the slightest of Sesshoumaru who was behind Rin for the first time. "But gotta!!!"

Shura who was in Rin's arms turned her face to look at Jaken. Grinning in anger and dislike, his sharp golden eyes were directed at the frog youkai.

However, Jaken did not change his loud voice. His eyes only focused on Rin who was smiling at him. "You promised me!! We will be together to shepherd. Sesshoumaru-sama, Shura-sama, me, Ah-un and you!! I will light a bonfire at night, find food for you and Shura-sama, then I will tell you all the greatness of Sesshoumaru-sama— therefore, you should get well soon!!!"

In his shout, Jaken's voice trembled. His face was angry, but it also could not be hidden the worry and fear in it.

Rin kept smiling and nodded his head slowly. Closing her eyes, she desperately held back her tears that were about to fall, for she knew she could not cry. Now, who understands?

Opening her eyes, Rin then laughed, hiding her broken heart seeing those who loved her so much. "Rin did not forget that promise, Jaken-sama."

Rin's laughter made Jaken speechless. He does not know since when this happened—Rin has changed. The same laugh and smile, but also so different now. It was when he laughed and smiled, all the warmth and joy emanated. But now, when he laughs and smiles— the pain and pain are there.

Lowering his head down, Jaken then sighed. He did not know what else to say the—Rin that was in front of him now was no longer the little and innocent girl he had guarded in the wild just yet, but an adult woman who is so clever hides her heart.

"And Shura," Rin's smile was soft. He turned his face to look at Shura who looked very angry at Jaken. "Don't be like this. Jaken-sama did not scold Rin at all. Jaken-sama is only worried about the mother.."

Shura stopped appreciating seeing and hearing Rin's words. With her pouting face, she then re-embed her face in the chest of the mother, while her two little hands moved pulling her mother's kimono.

Rin just laughed at Shura's attitude. Removing her right hand and holding her son with her left hand alone, she gently stroked the little head affectionately. In these few days, the expression on his son's face grew more and more, laughing, smiling, angry, disliking, crying and now pouting—he really wanted to see all the expression on his son's face.

"Rin," the voice of Sesshoumaru who was silent from earlier suddenly sounded. Flat and quiet as ever, yet commanding. "Drink your medicine."

Staring at Sesshoumaru for a moment, Rin smiled and nodded her head. Looking at Jaken, with an unchangeable smile on her face, she moved her right hand that had earlier caressed Shura's head to grab the bowl in front of her. His left hand was still clutching his precious son tightly with affection.

The bowl was not large, white in color and contained a black-colored liquid that had a strong medicinal smell piercing the nose. As with her pregnancy, Rin knew, the medicine must have been very bitter.

"Be careful" said Jaken, seeing Rin take the medicine. "The medicine is still hot."

Rin nodded his head and smiled wider. Closing the bowl to his lips, he blew it slowly. However, he had not had time to drink it, the right hand that was holding the medicine bowl suddenly lost strength. Unstoppable, the bowl fell down.

The black liquid that was still hot spilled down wet the body of Shura, while the bowl that was there overflowed the small body of the heir to the western land.

"Rin!! Shura-gama!!" surprised Jaken shouted loudly. He immediately moved to approach Rin and Shura.

However, Sesshoumaru who was indeed behind Rin was faster. Instantly he moved the bowl on his son's body, and raised the small, wet body.

Shura did not make a sound even though there was a hot liquid wetting her body. A small frown appearing on her face would smell the strong existing medicine as well as the fact that she was separated from the embrace of the mother.

"S-shura..." Rin's trembling voice quietly called out her son's name filled with fear and made Sesshoumaru and Jaken turn their faces to look at him.

All they saw was Rin's tiny body shaking violently. His pale face grew pale, fear filling his face. His brown eyes were only directed at the figure of Shura who was in Sesshoumaru's hands full of—regrets and guilt feelings. "R-rinu..Rin's... Sorry, forgive Rin, forgive Rin, Shura. Forgive Rin!!"

His precious son, because of his helplessness and carelessness, he was wounded. As a mother, how could Rin forgive herself? What mother did she do to hurt her own son?

Trying to move both hands to reach Shura in Sesshoumaru's hands, the fear on Rin's face grew even greater as she realized something for the first time; she could not move her hand.

Rin's weak body trembled even more violently, the fear on his face grew even more so that it was not explained anymore, and without stopping, tears were flowing down—he cried.

He had wounded his son, but now he was unable to embrace him. No matter how he tried, both of his hands were unwilling to comply with his wishes, in fact, he could not feel the existence of his hands anymore! If she was like this, how could she raise her son? How could he give away everything that his son should feel from a mother?!

Sesshoumaru who was behind Rin realized the strange. Handing Shura over to Jaken and hugging her kisak, she whispered softly calming him down. "Shura it's okay, Rin. Hot water won't hurt her even if she's a baby, remember, she's a real inuyoukai."

Rin's mouth was open, he wanted to talk, but, he didn't find his voice, tears were flowing. His heart ached, very, very unbearable pain. In the future, what will happen?

Squeezing his embrace, Sesshoumaru drowned Rin's face on his chest. Caressing her soft black hair, she continued to whisper softly in the ears of the human woman in her arms. "It's okay, everything's okay, Rin. As you say— everything will be fine."

Shura who did not understand what was wrong thrashed in Jaken's sling. Hearing Rin's crying voice, she became agitated and began to cry.

Jaken, who was confused and unable to understand what was happening, immediately walked up to Rin who was hugged by Sesshoumaru. "Rin! You see! Shura-sama is looking for you!! Don't cry anymore! If you cry, Shura-sama will come crying!!"

Jaken's words made Rin who was in Sesshoumaru's embrace stunned. Hearing her son cry, she immediately turned her face to look at Shura. However, what he later saw shattered his heart.

In front of him now, Shura was crying. His golden eyes looked straight at him, while his two small hands were raised asking for a sling, and Rin— couldn't reach him.

"Y!! Ahhhhh!! Ahhhhh!!" crying, yelling unbearably, Rin could not control her emotions and feelings anymore.

His hands could not move to embrace Shura, he could not hold his precious son. What kind of mother is she?? She promised to give everything for her son, but now, just a simple hug, she was unable to give me how unlucky her son was to have a useless mother like her.

Sesshoumaru and Jaken were very surprised by Rin's loud cries. The human woman who had never cried was now crying so desperately full of sadness.

Sinking Rin's head back into his chest, Sesshoumaru stroked and continued to try to calm the human woman in his arms. "Rin, relax. Shura it's okay."

Continuing to scream and cry, Rin shook her head. Seeking strength in her broken cries, she tried desperately to find her voice. "S-sesshoumaru-sama, S-sesshoumaru-sama, R-rinn... R-rin can't feel Rin's hand!!"

Without hands, how did he touch them again? Hugging and feeling the warmth of those he loved so much?—how cruel is this world to him.

....xoxOx....