Am I Different?
(S2) ~ Ragaku

I sit beside my body lying down, not infrequently my soul tries to enter my body again. But my deeds remain in vain, I wish I would wake up from this dreamland.

I shed tears and my body responded the same way.

***

It doesn't feel like tomorrow has changed, there's no development in my body. My soul can no longer unite with my body. I want to cry, I want to complain but I don't know who to be with?

Mom and dad waited for me in turn, but I saw that they couldn't rest properly. I'm afraid to pray about all this, but I don't want to lose them right now.

The doctor came into the room where I was being treated, and behind him was a nurse carrying equipment to check on me.

First put some liquid into my infusion hose, I don't know how much it is, I don't know. Maybe it was to support me to stay alive, after which the nurse brought a fairly large injection that contained a thick white.

The liquid was injected into a tube in my nose right now, from the medical side calling it milk for my nutritional intake. I don't know what my body is feeling right now, whether it's making me sick or not I don't understand it.

The hose is so long, it currently only looks a little in my nose. The hose seemed to be stuck into my body. But injection after injection didn't make my body respond.

Doctors alternately examine the same two people treated in this room. After finishing this room, it felt quiet again. Mother looks I look at my face while stroking my hair which is not currently covered with a hijab.

Mother may be too tired, so she looks closed eyes. Without my mother noticing I moved my hand so that the oxygen hose stuck in my nose was currently uprooted.

I tried to hug my mother who was sleeping, but what a power I could do nothing. Suddenly I heard a voice that shocked my mother.

Tiiiiiiiit ....

A long buzzing sound, then my heart-detection machine died. The mother who heard him panicked, then went out to call dad. Tears were visible in both of their eyes.

"Esther, why is this? Am I dead?" my many.

"I don't know" he answered.

There was a doctor and several nurses who entered this room. They're heading to my place and the person next to my bed.

"Where, Doc?" ask mother.

The nurse fiddled with my heart-detection device, while the doctor examined and reattached the oxygen hose that had been removed earlier.

Seen the heart detector is back on, the look on my mother's face that was seen by me, now there is a smile on her face.

The nurse who was in the patient next door, now approached the doctor who was in my place.

"Doc, the patient next door passed away. Maybe this patient's detection device was affected by the next device, because next to the detector also died along with the last time exhaling," said the nurse.

The doctor without answering immediately went to the patient.

"Innalilahi wainailaihi roji. May Dedek quickly realize yes, if Dedek knew when the tool died, Mother's heart felt collapsed instantly," said mother.

She kept shedding tears, I don't know what she's feeling right now. I want to look back at the smile you used to give me.

Dad was outside still looking panicked. He was waiting for news from us inside. Mother moved from her seat to approach my father.

"Dad, Dedek is okay. I want to find food first, I wait for Keyla yes," said the mother saying goodbye.

They move their legs simultaneously, but in different directions. Dad sat down on the chair right next to the bed I was sitting on.

Dad looked confused when he saw, the nurse pushed the gurney over which there was the corpse of the patient next to me. Then the father approached his son the dead man was cleaning their equipment while here.

"Mom, Mother." said the father hanging.

"Yes, Sir. May my mother calm down, pity has been sick for a long time, may her brother quickly realize yes, sir," said the mother as she passed away from father.

After that, my father returned to my place. He stroked my head and kissed my forehead and cheeks.

Father again shed his tears, my soul which at this moment can only sit beside a weakly drooping body is helpless. Only Esther is currently able to calm and accompany me.

"Keyla, keep praying. May the Almighty always hear your prayers, may there be the best outcome for your life" Esther said.

"Esteh, thank you for always reminding me" I said, then hugged her.

Esther took off my arms, she showed me her smile while stroking my head.

"I know, you're a strong boy. You have to be sure of yourself." Say

The door began to open, the figure of Dinar behind the door was seen. He with teary eyes approached my father.

"Om" Dinar called my father.

He ran, hugged my father. There was a sound of people crying, maybe it was the sound of Dinar. I saw him crying, now I have made my best friend worried about my situation.

People I love all look sad, I feel like I want to calm him down but I realize I can't. After that, dad took off Dinar's embrace.

"Dinar, don't cry. Pity Keyla if you hear that, maybe she's sad too" Dad said.

Dinar turned to look at my body. He hugged and kissed her. Sobbing her crying voice, without me noticing my body was crying too.

"Dinar, Om out yeah. There can't be more than one man to look after her" he said goodbye.

The sobbing dinar did not respond to my father's words, so the father decided to come out without waiting for his answer.

"Key, get up .. You have to get up" Dinar said.

She shook my body, getting even more devastated when she saw him as sad as this.

"I'm waiting for you to come home, there's a lot I'm going to tell you. Why now your condition is like this hyks hyks," he said again.

"Din, I'm here. Don't cry, I'm there for you" I said, but there's no way she could hear it.

Esther hugged me again, she tried to calm me down. I was hit, seeing all this. Right now in my heart just say the word, this is not fair, God, why should I?

I was crying, not knowing what else to do. My soul feels unaccepted by my own body, I want to return immediately but the Almighty does not grant it.

I wanted to complain, I wanted to scream, I wanted to vent my anger and sadness. I was disappointed in everything I experienced.

Dinar looked at my face, there he saw the teardrops falling on my temple.

"Key, I'm sure now you hear me. I beg you to get up quickly, I want us to be together again," he said, crying bitterly.

Dinar kept calling out my name, occasionally he would shake my body. At that time I was only able to speak but did not expect a response.

"Din, I'm sad to see you destroyed. I want to hug you, calm you down but I can't" I said.

"Oh my God, why does all this feel so unfair to me. Why should I have to go to the hyks?" I loudly said it.

Esther slapped me, when I saw her. He looked at me sharply, I was disappointed by what he had done.

"Why? You don't understand how I feel" I said with a crisp.

He just opened his eyes wider, without answering him he passed away leaving me.

I again tried to ride on my body, then tried to lie down hoping that my soul would be accepted by my body right now. I tried many times but the result was the same, I couldn't.

I screamed with all my might, I cried. My heart is hurt, disappointed and the anger that is currently controlling my heart.

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