As Deep as Your Woes
Chapter 40. I Without You Dust Granules

Brama rubbed her tears that had now flooded her handsome face, Brama really felt fragile without the presence of Tiara by her side. It was as if he had lost his place.

Brama immediately went from behind the door when he saw the roar of Gala Abiseka and Daniel's footsteps who were about to get out of Tiara's inpatient room. He did not want everyone to know if he was peeking at the existence of Tiara who had finished ijab qobul with Gala Abiseka his cousin.

It was like doctor Brama entered the room and met his woman who was still lying weak. However, Brama no longer has the guts to go inside to meet Tiara. Moreover, now the woman loved by him is no longer his status as his future wife. The bond has been broken, with no hope of continuing with Tiara given their now different status.

All his dreams are now extinct with the destruction of hope that he can no longer wake up. Tiara could no longer reach her, she was completely weak and helpless. The separation and loss of Tiara so stifled her chest, weakened her soul, dampened all her life spirit.

''Tiara, there are no more smiles of joy and soft, spoiled speech that I can see in my every day. All my dreams and fantasies that I want to knit with you are now gone with my pain and disappointment, oh God ... why do you test me with the pain of not being able to have the woman I love. Why did You present it in my life, but you separated us in this way? Tiara, I really am without you dust grains!'' Brama threw his sermon ring with Tiara two months ago in any direction.

Brama really looks frustrated and disheveled, his bruised and irregular face is no longer ignored. Losing and failing to marry Tiara completely made her lose her direction and destination. Brama really looks chaotic, he who used to always look well groomed and perfect now is like a person who is not good at taking care of himself. Brama really looks tangled with the look of a lethargic face and has no spirit of life.

''Tinkg, awwww!'' the ring thrown by Brama darted about a woman in a white suit who was none other than the Yashinta doctor who had from earlier followed wherever Brama's doctor stepped.

Doctor Yashinta was worried about Brama's condition that was not unstable, so he took the initiative to continue trailing the movement of Brama's doctor who was being met with a sense of heartbreak.

Brama turned to the source of the voice, Doctor Yashinta, what are you doing here?'' brama asked with an intimidating look. She was shocked by the presence of doctor Yashinta behind her.

Doctor Yashinta looks calm, he landed his butt in the hospital garden chair, where Dr. Brama was lamenting his grief.

''I deliberately followed you, is this how a doctor Brama was heartbroken? I understand how you feel right now, but the world is not over yet, there are still many roads to Rome. Doctor Brama is young, it is a pity that his youth should be spent lamenting the endless grief. Remember, you are still very young and still have a chance to look into a brighter future.'' Doctor Yashinta gives encouragement and motivation to the doctor Brama, the man he has admired for the past two years as a doctor of internal medicine in the hospital where he works today.

''You may know even very well, if it is associated with the science of shari'i, the soul mate is the secret of God, God has his own way of uniting a person who is a match even though he has never met each other before let alone love each other, on the contrary, God also has a way of separating someone who is not a match even though they have previously known each other and loved each other. Just as it happened with you and Tiara it has become the will of Allah Subhana wa ta'alla and you should try to accept it with a free hand.''

Doctor Brama has no reproach to be angry let alone to curse doctor Yashinta, because in reality what is said by the doctor Yashinta is true. However, Doctor Brama does not immediately accept the fate that has now been described in his life.

Because, releasing someone who has been carved in his heart is not an easy thing. Sincere it takes a process and it takes time to apply it, not young for Brama to forget the mooring of his soul which will almost be his wife.

Brama was still fixated, he covered his face resting on both palms. He really can't defend himself to accept all the facts that exist. He still hopes that one day Tiara will return to him and mate with him, even though it may sound impossible. However, due to his love and loyalty to Tiara, Brama is determined in his heart to wait for Tiara until her divorce from Gala Abiseka.

Doctor Yashinta who really understands what is being felt and experienced by the doctor Brama was finally back to provide input for the young doctor in order to think clearly and not take decisions that do not enter sense when angry.

''Doctor Brama listen to me carefully, and you must understand that, even though a thousand words of love are spoken and a promise to live on while it has been promised by two people who love each other, even though a thousand words of love are spoken and the promise of life has been promised by two people who love each other, the engagement ring has been coiled on the ring finger and all preparations have been completed and almost perfect even 99% more to step into the guarantee, he said, if the yellow janur has not been curved and has not yet made a holy promise of marriage between the two parties if God has wanted us not to be a match with someone then God has his own way to thwart all plans there are. So that marriage is void and not realized because of a cause that is beyond our common sense.''

Doctor Yashinta explained all these things very straightforwardly, he did not want to continue to see despair on Brama's face. Yashinta desperately hopes that Brama's doctor can move on from Tiara and rearrange his life that looks complicated.

''Thank you for your advice, doctor Yashinta, but right now I need some time to myself and think more clearly. Please leave me alone, said Dr. Brama. He does not want to linger alone with a woman who is not his mahram. To him, it was enough that only Tiara was the woman who was by his side. Although at this time, everything is just a dream that is not to be real.

''All right, I'll go! there are a lot of things I need to deal with right away. Today's internal medicine patients are getting full of coloring my workspace? now that my break is over, you take good care of yourself. This is a ring that you throw in any direction so that it hits my forehead, baby if the ring is thrown away, it's called redundant and not grateful for the blessings that have been given by God. Hopefully one day you find the right person to wear the ring in his fingers, someone who really loves you sincerely, he said, someone who is destined to color your life lovingly in the shade of his love and pleasure!'' doctor Yashinta said it sounded straightforward and clear in Brama's ears.

''May one day I may touch your heart Doctor Brama, I will still wait for you to welcome the feeling in my heart, '' Inner Doctor Yashinta is hopeful, only he and the Creator can hear it.

Doctor Yashinta passed away after putting a gold ring next to Brama's seat. The ring that was previously held for Tiara during her sermon with Brama two months ago, and now all the memories and wounds that stifle the chest.

Brama looked at the back of the doctor Yashinta who had moved away from his presence, Forgive me doctor Yashinta, I have known for a long time that you have kept a sense of me, but my heart has not been touched by you, may you also get a man better than me, who sincerely loves you for who you are. I'm sorry, really in my heart now only engraved the name of Tiara Chandani Putri, now, tomorrow and forever Tiara will always reign in my heart!'' muttered Brama Adyaksa Kyswara while keeping the ring that he had thrown away was nailed to his shirt.