As Deep as Your Woes
Chapter 8. Frustratingly

Tiara refused to respond to Brama's remarks, although she actually felt a deep longing for her future husband Brama. But he seems to limit himself, he seems to keep a distance with Brama.Tiara into his shop, while Brama still stands outside which is limited by the drug storefront between himself and Tiara.

"Tiara, why do you look different today? do you have a problem? tell me, I'm your future husband. If there's something bad in your heart, just say it! don't hold your own. I'm ready to hear all your complaints!" said Brama by staring fixed his future wife. He saw Tiara looking uninspired.

"It's okay Mas, Tiara wants to be alone. You can go to work now!" tiara looks cloudy. He also focused on cleaning the dust attached to the glass etalasenya.

"Tiara, what happened to you? why does your face look so moody? Though, last night before you left with viola, you looked fine. Why wasn't your phone picked up when I called you? and neither did you read my message?" said Brama who felt if something had happened to his future wife.

"Sorry, last night Tiara fell asleep. Because it's late at night. So, I decided to stay at my herbal store just so happened to be close from here!" terang Tiara tried as hard as possible, wanting it to feel like he drowned into the bowels of the earth rather than having to accept the fact that he had been stained by someone who was very foreign to him even though Gala Abiseka used to be his elder brother. However, Tiara's heart seemed to not sincerely accept it all.

"Alright, after this mas won't let you go alone. Mas will always accompany you Tiara until you are halal for me to have!" timpal Brama who did not know at all the chaos of life that is being experienced by Tiara at this time.

"Thank you for your concern, may you continue like this despite all the shortcomings I have, may you accept me as I am. If one day I do something that may not be pleasing to the heart of Mas. Really, Tiara really hopes Brama will be my priest!" tiara said with teary eyes.

"Tiara, I accept you for who you are in my life. You are the perfect woman in my view!" bright Brama with a loving look at Tiara.

"I'm sorry, I'm not as perfect as you might think. I am but a dim moon of the night and I shine no light. I've been dirty, Mas. I'm sure if you find out what happened to me, you'll leave me. For there will be no man who will accept a woman who has been tainted by another man like myself!" tiara's inner back looks cloudy. Tiara shed her tears of sadness, but she tried to be as fresh as possible. He did not want to make Brama wonder and worry about him.

"Tiara, are you okay? Why does your face look cloudy, if you're sick don't work first. I'll take care of your shop, I'm going to the hospital today." Brama also gave an offer to Tiara so that his future wife can rest without having to focus on her work.

"Sorry, Mas. Tiara did not want to trouble Mas Brama. We're not married yet, I don't want to bother to look after my herbal shop. Let Tiara take care while resting here."

"All right, if that's what you want. Always take what you want. If you feel comfortable with your work now, Mas also feel happy. Buy lunch for you, will you?" tanya Brama and nodded by Tiara.

Brama soon found a home for Tiara's favorite pasture cuisine. Tiara cried after the young doctor's departure.

"Oh my God, what am I supposed to do? how do I explain my current situation to Mas Brama? Why do You place love in my heart, and You bring us close to knitting the sacred promise of marriage but at last there are thorns and thorns that hinder this relationship? what is my fault, Lord, that I must experience this fateful event? for 21 years I've been guarding my marwah and I didn't expect my chastity to be taken away with just one night's desire with that bastard*n man!" tiara's cries were breaking.

Tiara seemed to not accept the fate of her life which she thought was very bad. He forgot, if in the concept of life all qada and qadar have all become the decrees of Allah subhanahu ta'ala good bad life that has been passed by every person.

"I want to die!" tiara said slowly.

But Tiara recalled the study he had heard from Abu Ammar some time ago. "Whoever kills himself with something, he will be tormented with it in Hell."

And Tiara, does not want to end her life just because of the chaos of life that is now suffering from it. "Suicide is not a solution, it will make things worse!" thought.

Tiara leaned her body against the window panes, she immediately wiped her tears when she heard the roar of Brama Adyaksa Kyswara's car, her future imam, which was parked right next to her shop. Tiara did not want Brama to be suspicious of her. She is not ready to tell the events that happened to her future husband.

"Tiara, bring your faforit padang rice. Grilled chicken, green chili sauce, cucumber vegetables, basil leaves, cauliflower, the same food." Brama seems happy to be able to pay special attention to his future wife on the sidelines of her busy life as a doctor.

"Thank you, Mum!" tiara said by trying to display a smile of happiness with the presence of Brama by her side.

Tiara's face looks swollen from crying too much, making Brama look at the face of the angel who is very loved by her.

"Dec, your eyes look puffy. You crying?" brama asked with a worried look when he saw Tiara's face that looked cloudy.

"So I was flickering, Mom." Tiara reasoned. He immediately prepared two dishes as a rice pad for himself and Brama.

"Wait a minute, Dek! come here" said Brama, sounding soft.

Tiara also approached Brama, although blocked the drug storefront as a barrier between the two so as not to touch. Because after all, they are not halal to touch even if only the tip of the nail. There is a Mahram boundary between the two.

"What's up, Mom?" tiara asked suddenly nervous when dealing with Brama from a very close distance.

"I see your eyes!" Brama slowly blows out Tiara's red-looking eyes, which Tiara says if her vision is flickering. Making Brama tuck a special attention to his future wife, a tip of hair, a tip of Brama's nails did not want to see Tiara hurt, even though only a blink of an eye.

"Mas" said Tiara with a fast-moving heartbeat. He was really nervous when Brama reflex blew his eyelids that felt sore due to crying for too long.