My husband no longer touched me
Get out of the house
"Yes!"
I cried for my stupidity.
Cahya stood watching me cry like a child asking for candy.
****
Before I was really kicked out, I first left home. My first destination was my mother's house. Yeah, I hope there mom will help me. And Mas Ferdi took me.
I live with Faisal with my in-laws. I brought it in my sling.
Ten minutes to my mother's house.
"Assalamualaikum, Ma'am ...,"
I can't keep my tears. Let it just flow.
"Greetings waalaikum, Laras. Tumben early in the morning here?" tanyakanya.
The 45-year-old woman was a little unhappy with my presence. But, what can I do and where to go.
I sat in the living room and mom served the buyer.
Mother approached me.
"Mom yes, I'm staying here for a while" I asked.
"Eventually, why? You're the same Beni,"
"Yes." Yeah."
"Keep on!"
Tears did not stop. Same with the pain I think.
"Go!" maki's mother then.
Mom passed by leaving me and Cahya. My heart hurts infinitely.
My affair with Mas Ferdi, I know that he was the first to approve of this relationship. He also wished we could get married. But, if I tell you that I'm pregnant, Ferdi's child is angry, right? I'd better keep it a secret first.
My tears are starting to dry oh, yeah. I just remembered. Mas Ferdi's!
Immediately I rogoh pocket bag looking for that square flat object.
I type message ....
"Mas Ferdi, I'm out of the house. Are you really, gonna pick me up?"
There's no reply from him. I waited a long time not to be answered.
****
Two months of living with my mom Mas Beni wasn't looking for me at all. Ferdi is the same. He said later, later, and later! Mom started showing dislike and rarely fed me.
"Mama, Aya is hungry," whined Cahya. He held his stomach.
"Prophey yes, Nduk. We will eat." I'm picking up her curly hair.
My mom's like a statue not talking to me. Face pouting.
"When are you here?" ask mother. It seems he feels bad.
"Until Mas Ferdi picks me up."
Suddenly mom smiled.
"Oh, that's apparently. I know where Ferdi's house is. I'll book a travel ticket to his house" he said.
I sparkled, "Really, Mom?"
"Yes, it's dong!"
Finally, mom wants to help me. Mas Ferdi I'm coming ....
"Prepare, Barrel."
"Good, Mom!"
****
At 5pm the trip stopped in front of my mother's house. I say goodbye and kiss her hand.
"If the driver hasn't stopped, you. Don't come down yeah. Driver knows, Ferdi's house,"
"Yes, Mom."
Byeah!
I put my hand on the car window. She walked away and mother was no longer visible.
Two hours into the dark day I no longer see and I ride the streets.
Hmmm ....
I'm happy to meet Mas Ferdi. I am coming ....
An hour later ....
Ciiit!
The car I was riding stopped in front of the house. Uh, wait. I know this place.
This is not Mas Ferdi's house!
This where is it?
Oh my God please!
I flicked my right foot and got out of the silver car I was in.
Is this his house, Bude Mira? Yes, Allah. My mother sent me here.
Brak!
Car door closed. One bag was near my feet.
Is my heart going in or not? If not, where should I go?
My stomach is asking to be filled. Ah, I don't care if it's accepted or not that it's important that I go in first. Besides, it's midnight.
Geck!
Geck!
Geck!
"Assalamualaikum, Bude ..," I said.
I was looking around scared that some prankster was approaching me and Cahya.
Long time no door opened. I tap back.
Geck!
Geck!
Geck!
"Bude Mira," I said.
This time I hit it on the window.
Geck!
Geck!
The sound of the door opening quickly approached the bedaster woman.
"Without?!" Bude was half surprised.
"Yes, Bude. It's Barrel,"
"Kok, the nights here?"
"Hehehe. Traveling all night."
"Come here!" bude's orders.
Fifteen minutes later Bude told me and Cahya to eat.
Alhamdulillah ... Finally eat too.
*****
In this simple room I can break my body.
[Mas, I've been away from home. When are you going to pick me up?] I wrote an SMS message to Ferdi.
Send.
Message sent but not answered.
Huuuf ....
Yes, Allah. Strengthen this heart forgive my sins. Please give your instructions.
My drowsiness was getting whack I could not afford to linger waiting for a reply from him.
I faintly heard the SMS notification. My eyes are not open.
The rooster crows I wake up. Before I left my room, I checked my phone.
A message from my beloved.
[Where are you, Dek?]
[For now I can't see you just yet. The company won't let me out.]
[You're already in Java?]
What the fuck? Don't you, you miss me?
My tears are shining. With a tremble my hand tried to return the message.
I type [Belom, Mas] send.
I put that flat thing on the bed. My step towards the bathroom.
Five minutes later ...
Drrt ... Drrt ...
"Hello ...,"
"Hello, Baras! I told you to go far away. Go to Java, until you give birth. How, still here and there?! he said half-stomping at the end of the phone.
"Corona, Mom. It can't be that easy to go,"
"Your lelet! From yesterday I told you to go far away still here!"
"Mas ngusir me? Take that responsibility?" askaku.
"B--not so. That means don't let anyone know you're pregnant with my son."
I shut my mouth with half a palm. So that my tears don't sound Bude.
"Where is your promise to marry me? Live together and have a family!"
I am frustrated with this heartache. My body is limp and vibrating.
"Sorry, Laras. For now I can't see you. You are patient first. Love you." - Love you."
Click!
"Hello, hello,"
Goddamn bum!
I threw my phone in any direction.
Prak!
Scattered and broke my phone screen.
****
The sweet honey that we gulped together now tastes bitter that I think.
Every call by phone must be his wife who receives a call. SMS is never answered.
Ferdi where are you?
Don't run away from this reality. Face together.
The maaaaaas!
Look at my body getting thinner and thinner face tangled like a thread. The seeds you give are growing.
And vou?
Run on!
A coward!
Bang**t!
*****
Two months at Bude's house. Bude is heavy-hearted. His face turned into a monster. I know it!
Where am I supposed to go? Like a madman.
I have friends here. Yeah, I'll see him.
"Sorry, Laras. I can't accept you here. Especially, pandemic."
"Sorry, Laras. I'm not working yet can accommodate you and Cahya. Our lives are mediocre."
"Now a mandatory guest pandemic reports and swab tests."
That's what my friends say. Where did they promise? We are friends until anytime. Buty?
I'm like a bunch of unwanted rotten meat.
"I have acquaintances of smart people (shamans). You can go there for Ferdi's help. Or you could ask for anything,"
What a great idea!
I don't think it's a good chance I've got to go see that shaman.
Hows it? Couldn't you, Larasati to the shaman?