My husband no longer touched me
Let me meet the ocean

I saw that Ocean had come out of his room he was tired all day long shutting himself up in his room.

"Eat first, dear." I persuaded.

Without answering, he walked towards the kitchen.

"Faisal go play first, Ma." Faisal grabbed my hand and kissed the back of my palm.

"Your sister you didn't take. Invite the Ocean to play together," I said.

Faisal headed for the kitchen to look for the ocean.

"Adek want to come along, play with Brother?"

"You wait a minute, Bang."

My kids came out and wanted to play.

I peeked behind the window curtains over there a lot of Faisal's friends.

"No, you hijack that bastard child" chirped Faisal's fat friend.

Faisal was a little confused as he stared at the ocean.

I who listened to the conversation was a little bit sliced off the taste of this heart.

"If the bastard comes into play, I'd better go home!" said friend Faisal another one.

Faisal was still silent while the Ocean looked down not daring to look at his friends Faisal.

"That's not how he's my brother let him play with us." Faisal defending the Ocean.

Faisal's friends were upset and said, "My mother said that bastard child is a bad carrier, so don't play with him we might get unlucky too."

The ocean was getting lower, he was flinching.

"Just play at home. Brother wants to play with brother's friends." Faisal left the ocean he ran with his friends.

My heart about the Ocean treated her own brother.

I came to the ocean and saw that his hand had wiped away the trace of tears on his cheek. The ocean looks at me.

"Why did you leave the ocean, Ma?" tanyakanya.

" ...." I can't answer that.

The ocean ran he locked her back to her room.

Slowly my cheeks got wet because these tears were flowing I did not ask for.

*

*

*

Faisal's home.

"Faisal's here for a minute" call me. When Faisal opened the door to his room.

Faisal sat down on the sofa and asked, "What's up, Ma?"

I held both his hands in saying, "Please don't you fight the Ocean. Don't tell me he's an illegitimate child,"

Faisal looked at me and looked at me deeply.

"What's an illegitimate child, Ma?"

"Mama doesn't know, son. Please don't make a difference in the ocean, she's also your sister. Love and take care of it. Don't you love him?"

"Faisal loves the Ocean."

"Promise yes, don't be like that,"

Faisal nodded then smiled.

"Faisal's promise will never be repeated."

"You're all mama's children, there's nothing you're different about." I hugged Faisal's body tightly.

*

*

*

Beni gave me a hundred thousand dollars. And told me to shop. She asked me to cook her favorite food. I was confused to share the money he gave the red money that I held tightly. How do I divide evenly?

"Cock-awkwardly? instead of going to the market" said Beni mas surprised me.

"I--iya, for a second," I stammered.

"Kok still standing there?" ask the cold guy. Playing the phone in his hand.

"less?" ask again.

I'm nodding.

"Take it!" Beni handed back the red money. I am glad to take the money too.

"Thank you, Mum."

Alhamdulillah Beni gave me more shopping money.

My eyes glanced at someone who was busy drinking coffee in a small shop. And I feel like I've seen a truck parked in front of that little stall.

Mr Ferdi? Is that really Ferdi?nope, no. I don't want to see her again.

When my feet were about to step into another place we accidentally looked at each other yes, those eyes were eyes that I admired but hated.

"Laras," He said my name. He put coffee on the table that he had shaved earlier.

Why all of a sudden my feet are hard to move should I leave him.

Was the world this small that it met again with that bastard?

"Wait Baras. I want to talk!"

Mas Ferdi came to me who was struck by my feet it was difficult to move when I was so sick and hated it was so sick of it!

"What are you talking about, aren't we no longer related!" I said ketus and looked up like a lion almost pounced on his prey.

"Don't be so barren I miss you." Ferdi held my hand.

The tears almost fell but this meeting was really painful for me.

"Your miss said?" tanyaku.

Ferdi nodded and smiled his old thin mustache which I longed for was still decorating above his lips.

"Hindu as what? As your outlet or as someone who means a lot to you,"

Ferdi was silent.

We stand in the middle of a crowd of people passing by to shop in pairs of eyes watching us embarrassed? no. gabe. Just let people know that we're fighting.

"Really I miss you, Dek help me want to talk seriously to you. The problem is I can't reach you or you think I left you is wrong,"

"Wrongly? Didn't I hear you wrong. You left me with the baby you planted in my seed. Mas said responsible in fact you asked me to abort him need Mas know the baby has now grown into a smart, loving, cheerful child certainly encouragement for me," I growled.

"Our son? Where is he now I want to see him, Laras." Raut Mas Ferdi exuded the happiness of whether I was selfish as a mother separating herself from her child.

The grip of Mas Ferdi I brushed aside violently and then went to leave leaving him still riveted.

Five steps later I turned towards him.

"Don't expect you'll see your son Mas. Remember we have nothing left," I said.

Then I got on a motorcycle and left the man who ruined my life.

*

*

*

My tears are pouring down so hard countless this heart is pierced by a thousand needles. God, why did you meet me with that man, didn't I pray that he would die soon?

When on a deserted road suddenly a truck stopped our trip.

What's Mas Ferdi's car for he's following me?

Tin!

The truck stopped right in front of the vehicle I was riding in.

Suddenly, Ojek also brakes his vehicle.

The object I was riding stopped. I got off of course I knew the man who got out of the truck.

I quickly handed two 10,000s to the motorcycle taxi driver. This is both of us.

"What the hell is it, I told you we're nothing else!" my snapping.

The slum-man rested under my feet and said, "I'm sorry, I. I'm really sorry I'm sorry please forgive me. We fix this relationship when we need to,"

I touched her shoulder to get her to stand up.

"No way you've ruined my future is ruining my happiness the pain you inflict on my chest can't be cured even if I forgive you."

Eventually Ferdi and I looked for a seat to talk and talk to each other.

"Just punish me Laras I deserve you to be legal. But please don't let it go and leave me. Let me see our son your son and my son."

I looked up to a few years ago when Mas Ferdi had not left me the sweet promises that he said like honey in a cup after I sipped it was bitter when he found out that Ferdi was gone leaving me heartbroken unpatched.

"My boy or girl?" tanyakanya. Disperse my reverie.

I glanced at him at a glance then smiled and said, "Your son is a boy, Mas."

"What's the name Laras? Can I see him?"

I shook my head then looked up so that my tears would no longer fall down my cheeks enough to throw tears at the man beside me.

"The name of the Ocean someday I'll find Mas with him."

"Why not now?"

"I'm not ready to say that you're his father, Mas,"

"What?! So the Ocean is his son, Ferdi!" Someone was surprised to hear our conversation.

Me and Mas Ferdi stood up and was surprised apparently someone who listened to our conversation was ....