My husband no longer touched me
It was a bad day

Geck!

Geck!

Geck!

"Open the door, Baras!" say the woman out there.

Ck!

Who the hell, early in the morning was knocking on the door hard?

Chequek!

The door opened Mas Beni.

I was just about to get out of my bed.

"Where is that woman!" Monik's brother snatched in.

"Hey, here apparently," he said again.

I stood on the side of the bed holding my distended stomach. Brother Monik approached me then ....

"Little girl! Yes, you cheated on my sister!"

He grabbed my long, disheveled hair. I haven't been able to tie my hair.

Aw!

I held half my hair with both hands.

"For example, Brother." I grimaced in pain.

Faisal and Cahya could only see and knew nothing.

Mas Beni ran up to me and Brother Monik.

He broke up and said, "Already, already. Stop, Brother! No need to be rude,"

"You're stupid too, Ben! This cheap lady, is she still here?"

Monik's sister took her hand off my hair.

Beni breathed heavily.

"Leave it, brother." He walked towards the dining room.

"I don't want to, my only brother you're hurting!" Monik looked at me sharply.

His chest was up and down withstanding anger. His breathing was hunting and both his eyes were reddened.

"Leave it, Sister ...,"

"From now on, keep going!" refute Brother Monik does not accept.

"The children's love still needs a mother. Let him regret his actions,"

Weepy!

Monik stepped outside. He just kept fussing.

"I don't want to have a sister-in-law like her. The kema guard policy***n!"

Whum!

He slammed the door outside.

Beni sat on the chair. He held his head looking dizzy.

And I still stand with tears in my eyes because of Monik's words.

"Say, Baras. Who fucked you?" ask Beni again.

He's your best friend, Mas. It was Ferdi who impregnated me, he left irresponsible. Ah, crap! Of course I didn't dare tell him.

Beni stood still with a disappointed face. He was furious that his jaw line looked firm. Then grab his cigarette on the table and light one stick.

I sat on the side of the bed not daring to move.

"You need to remember, Laras. I don't want to be responsible for the baby you're carrying. Before I know who the father of your baby will be. I don't want to be dizzy" said Mas Beni. While exhaling cigarette smoke from his mouth.

Haven't you been supporting me all this time, Mom? I'm not surprised by that. Oh, it's ordinary.

"You hear me?!" tanyanya snapping.

"I--yes, Mom."

He stepped into the front room heard from his own voice.

****

My stomach, the worms in my stomach are asking to be filled. But what do I eat. Beni didn't give me a penny.

"Mama hungry belly Faisal ...," Whine my eldest son. He held my arm.

Cahya was behind him.

"Yes, hungry." Both her sweets glazed over.

Oh, aye. In my shop there must still be the remains of instant noodles. I wish there were still.

"Mas and adek wait here, yeah. Mama to the stall let's see if there's still noodles or not."

They nodded.

I'm looking for the lock on the stall over the tool cabinet. With disgusting my feet and ...

Here goes!

Get out to the shop until there.

Taraa!

Where's it going? Should have been, there were many. Since I left 6 months ago everything has been over.

What does God eat my children? Mas Beni is outrageous!

The light sat on a plastic chair. Hunger is also a tear.

Did I just borrow money from the bank, huh? This way I have money to prepare for childbirth and also to eat everyday.

Is this the punishment that you have given me?

Scroll dripping on my cheek. Holy hooch! The kids?

Oh, so forget yes. They should eat. There must be something left.

Alhamdulillah! I can finally eat too.

I found a pack of red canned fish.

Thank you, God.

****

I tried to ask my mother for help. Hopefully he can help by willing to give me a debt of rice and other necessities.

There was no sense of deterrence or remorse for my mother's treatment. After all, she was a woman who gave birth to me. Whatever his faults I can forget and forgive his mistakes.

On the terrace of the mother's house ....

"Assalamualaikum, ma'am."

"Waalaikum salam ...,"

The middle-aged woman went outside. Towards the stall terrace.

"You? I'm home, yes" said my mother.

"Already, Mom." I smiled clumsyly. If I remember my mother's treatment I was furious. He had lied to me.

I'm your son, ma'am, not anyone else. Why is our distance restricted?

I need you to hug, Mom.

"Why do you want to come here?"

I was busy cleaning the stall.

"B-can you, Laras take rice first with other needs?"

My mother's eyes glared and said, "Just kid! Where's your husband? Should've, she's a daughter's work wife endowed,"

"Please, ma'am ...," I said.

Mom's not budging.