My husband no longer touched me
Back Home or hanging out?

I was getting ready in a confused state. The next step I will think about again.

I carried Cahya he was excited because he was going to travel. But, he doesn't know the crumbling of my heart.

These footsteps go to the exit. All eyes looked at me. Yeah, I was wrong. I deserve this.

There is no farewell.

All the way I was absentminded not knowing where to go.

My phone rang so fast I saw the name on it.

Huuf!

I thought Mas Ferdi!

"Hello, assalamu'alaikum ...," Kak Farhan said on the phone.

"Waalaikum greetings, Brother." I stopped at the patrol post. And sit while you receive a call.

I was crying like that. Let's say crazy. That's all I can do.

"Why, Deck?" kak Farhan said anxiously. I think so, because of his tone.

"I ...."

All I told Brother Farhan.

"Astaghfirullah, Deck. Repent you! Now go back to your husband,"

"But ... Laras was afraid Mas Beni was angry."

"That's your risk!" snapped Brother Farhan.

I felt a broken heart.

"Solve your business don't run away from problems. Whatever the husband's decision yes, accepted because of your actions." he continued.

"Yes, Brother."

"Your transfer fees. Keep going home and don't repeat this mistake."

*****

This body is tired of crumbling. My heart is also destroyed my sanity. So much so that Mas Ferdi promised a mouthful of honey. After I found out I was pregnant he left not knowing the jungle.

Let God answer all this!

Where am I going now? To where mom is impossible. He just threw me out and sent me.

The trip I was traveling on stopped in front of my friends' Nesti house.

He greeted with a hug. I cried in his arms.

Hesti led me inside.

"Where have you been, Laras?"

I sat down and I took off my sling then, hugging my knees I cried hysterically. To put out the things I hold in my heart.

All I'm telling you. Hesti just rubbed my back. She was crying too.

"How do I abort the baby in my fetus, Hes?"

"Astaghfiullah! Don't be crazy. Poor him. Do not add to sins. Your baby is innocent. Please let her live," Hesti hugged me tightly.

"I can't stand it like this. Huhuhuhu ...,"

"You girls need to be strong! Raise your pride don't expect Ferdi again. Stay away from throwing away everything that concerns Ferdi. Open a new sheet, Barrel."

Hesti wiped my tears. He said, "Go back to Beni's house. Fix everything even if you can't bring back the cracked, at least survive for the sake of the kids. Rest here if you are calm you go home or you stay here for some time. Poor Faisal, don't you miss him?"

Oh, aye. My sulung how are you? True too said Hesti.

"Thank you, the advice."

"Repent. You still have God,"

I nodded and hugged her again.

A month of living with Nesti I was ready to return to Mas Beni's house.

I have repented, Lord. Accept my repentance.

I'm ready, totally ready.

Whatever I'll take. As long as I get a place to shelter and meet my children.

Hesti gave his support and he said, "Bismillah. You can get through this."

Slowly leave the Nesti house and move away.

I wave goodbye.

An hour later Cahya and I reached Mas Beni's courtyard. Ah, I miss him. Even if I don't know if he misses me or not.

Mas Beni I'm sorry.