My husband no longer touched me
God Don't Take My Son

Beni approached me who was crying.

"Why you?" tanyakanya. He sits beside me.

I told you everything about my family's treatment.

"What I told you. The magician was ungrateful." Beni is upset.

"Who knows, it's changed. In fact I was never considered," I said again.

"From now on, you don't have to bother going there anymore. If you go there, you have to be mentally strong" he said.

I kept quiet not responding to it. Although my household already feels bland sometimes Mas Beni is a husband of loyal listeners.

And there's a change from him. Now Mas Beni wants to touch the ocean. He was holding and buying something.

How's my? Uh. Nevermind! I don't need to be clear. What matters is that I am with the kids.

In silence only able to pray Mas Beni to quickly realize and stop gambling also drunk.

Wrapped in mobile bank debt.

In addition to the former who was flying the collectors did not escape coming to haunt me.Digge the hole close the hole so roughly. Borrow it here and there to eat the days.

Billing alternated a thousand moves I did including finding a loan for deposit.

When does it end like this?

There is a sense of desire to end life.But, what about my children?

Beni won't help me or won't know. It can be counted in one month he is 3 or 5 days at home. Go somewhere like an adventurer.

The distress of his wife and children he did not know. Wait, wait, wait. Am I worthy to be called a wife? What kind of marriage is this!

Even in such a precarious situation, he never intervened. When my children are sick I fight for them.

Like today the ocean has a fever. He can only whine. I confidently borrowed money from my in-laws for medical expenses.

With a limp step I carried him to the nearest clinic.

It hasn't been a few hours of heat. The medicine given by the midwife did not react. I was confused and crying. My initiative is to bring the Ocean to the village shaman's place.

The results did not look the same as well. The crying made my heart hurt.

The fever is getting higher. I took him to the hospital by hiring an ojek. Arriving there ....

"Suster, please, Sus!" panicked shouting. My body vibrates.

"Why Dedek, Mom?" ask sister. His hands deftly moved the Ocean to the bed.

"Fever." My breaths panting.

The ocean was taken over by health workers. Put it in the RS gurney.

"Is there any symptoms of a seizure?" ask doctor.

"No, Doc. It's just that the heat doesn't go away either" I said.

"good. We'll check, Mom. Mother please take care of the administration to the right aisle," said the nurse gave directions.

In the meantime, I'm taking care of the administration. Upon my return to administering I was relieved my son had been treated by a doctor. I sat next to him. My heart ached to see her body attached to an infusion needle.

Then the Ocean had a stiff body spasm, both eyes twinkled upwards, his lips turning blue.

Oh God! Don't you take him.

"How, Doc?" much worry. Seraya holding the Ocean fingers. My tears are shed.

"Relax yes, Ms ...,"

The doctor handled it. Five minutes later the ocean was no longer in a state of seizure.

"Thank God, Mom. It's been passed." The doctor looked relieved.

"Fortunately, Mom. Quickly brought here." The nurse beside me calmed me down.

I hugged the Ocean and kissed it.

"Mama love you. Don't leave, Mama yeah, son."

In my heart came to think of Ferdi. There's no harm, is there?

"Mas. Our son has just experienced critical," I said lirih. I said to myself. If there was him here maybe I'm a little relieved.

Whatever I hate about him, our story I never forget. Longing to call love deep in whether it will be lost.

God please erase my memory of him.

The ocean can be brought home. Thank God he is healthy again. Arriving home confused. What are you eating for me and the kids today?

Every day I get confused thinking about it. If my mother had a heart, she might be able to help me.

I think it's complicated to sit pensively on the porch of the house.

"What's up, Auntie?" ask Dela-nephew Mas Beni.

"Eh, you're just surprised." I looked towards him.

"I've just seen a dumbass." Dela looked at her white teeth.

"Mor confused." I tried to hold back the tears that were almost plunging. "There is you. Take Auntie Yuk, get there!"

Dela sat on the bench next to me.

"To her grandmother's place Ocean," I explained.

"Corn!"

"Mom!" call me.

"You. What do you want," asked the flat mother.

I entered without being asked and Dela followed behind me.

"May, Laras borrow rice and others?"

"Borrow? Wanna owe?"

I'm nodding.

"No, no, no!" Mother refused.

"Solicitor ..,"

"Outside from mom's house. Owe you your work. Where's Beni huh?!"

I went outside and was ashamed of Dila.

"No shame in debt here!" repet mom.

I went home without rice. Really disappointed!

"Aunty why didn't you tell me you weren't cooking?" ask Dila iba.

"Shame." I wiped my tears with a sling.

"Om Beni is outrageous." Dela knows very well with her om.

Dela drove me home and she wouldn't go in.

"Auntie wait a minute. It will be back again," he said.

The sound of a motorbike in the yard.

Dela and my mother-in-law, what's wrong?

"Assalamualaikum ..," greet Dela and carry 10kg of rice.

"Waalaikum salam ...." I stood up to greet him.

"You know what, Laras. There is nothing to be silent about" said Nur-my mother.

I scratch not itchy.

"Sorry, Mom's a hassle."

Please sit down.

"If there's anything to talk about. Beni is also outrageous being a man. Oh, ja. Mom just for a second. You cook first. I went home," he said.

"Yes, Mom." I am glad I can eat today.

"Thank you, Mom and Dela."

"Yes, you're welcome."

Thank you, Lord.