My husband no longer touched me
I want to repeat something beautiful

Two days after the fight.

At 08:00

Geck!

Geck!

Geck!

"Assalamualaikum, Laras ...," said someone outside.

I was doing laundry just to stop my activities. Look who's outside.

"Waalaikum salam ..," I said. While wiping both my palms.

"Change Uti!" screaming kids.

Mammy? Tumben's here.

I saw you sitting on the couch.

"Tumben, Mom. In here?" many wonder.

Mom turned to me, "Yes, play."

I'll visit if Mas Beni isn't home. I don't know why Mas Beni and mom never get better. It starts from ....

Flashbacks

My mother was with mothers her age. The middle is cool to tease here and there. I was there when the dispute was about to happen. Oh, ja. Faisal was 8 months old.

"Well, rich is the burden of your life. Your appearance doesn't glow I see," cutty one of them.

"Busy taking care of kids, Bulik. So---,"

Mom snatched my sentence. "Alah, have a husband like Beni boro-boro glowing. That guy, that drunk!"

"Still drunk?" ask the kinky-haired mothers.

"In addition to drunk gamblers as well," said the smoldering mother.

"What a pleasure to have her rich husband!"

"Shopping money is never given" said the mother. Things are getting heated up.

"Ih, amit-amit!"

I who did not feel good to hear their babble decided to go home. But before this foot stepped ....

"Mom talked to me?!" said Mas Beni. The person being talked about appeared behind.

Mothers are misbehaved and look nervous.

"You want me a drunk, cake. Cake gambling, my business! And mother? Do you ever care about Laras?" Beni pointed at my mother. "His parents never held their children in the least!" cerocos Mas Beni Emotion.

I took Mas Beni's hand and pulled him away. However, Beni was holding back.

"Should have been, you as a husband changed! What do you want my son to eat, huh?!" Mother ignited her emotions.

"Liet. Baras never sued. After all, he could rely on himself to eat. Supposedly, the mother who reflected. Son painstakingly approaches Parents, uh his parents kind of i--,"

I pull stronger. And Beni gave up.

Still vaguely heard the sound of mother blabbing.

"Huu! You're a fucking man, a couple,"

"Dispose to the sea!"

Since that incident Mas Beni and mother no longer greet each other until now. Mom and Mas Beni are both stubborn.

Flashback.

*

*

*

"Cock, dumbass!" Mom patted my shoulder.

"What do you want to cook." I glanced outside.

Mind tangled today bill. There is no end to my creak.

"When do we get home?"

"Fusa."

"Beni've given money a living yet?"

Mom holds the ocean.

"It."

"How much?"

"One hundred thousand, ma'am," I said.

"A hundred thousand in a day?" ask Mom full search.

"Anneu." I swallowed my saliva deeply.

"What?!" My mother's eyes glared and she stood up.

"Based on useless men!"

I stood to take my mother out.

"It's okay, Mom. The important thing is to give me the money" I said.

"It is not important that money is given. But responsibility to the child and wife. That's all he's negligent!"

"Mother go home first." Pamit's mom. "Faisal, Kaya! Here. Make it a snack." Mom opened her shabby wallet and took ten thousands 3 pieces of money.

"It's for the ocean, yeah." Mom stroked her hair.

"Thank you, Princess!"

"Thank you, Mom,"

Mother nodded.

"Acollins ...,"

"Waalaikum salam."

Even though my mother likes to compare me with other brothers, insulting and never consider me. I keep trying to get close to him. It was she who gave birth to me. Mom's the only one I have. My sister? He wouldn't have a brother like me. And Brother? His wife refused to see me.

I don't know why everyone doesn't want to be with me. Is it because I'm ugly? A black? Fat guy? I'm different then?

I wish that after marriage my life would change. Someone really loves me like a wife. But, it's like babu.

The beginning of the introduction is so sweet really, I do not want to forget that moment if it needs to be repeated again a thousand years or a thousand years I want.

*

*

*

"Excuse me!" say someone outside.

Geck!

Geck!

Geck!

"Excuse me ...,"

"Sepent ....,"

Y'all know? When charged up it feels like meeting someone scary. Every week my heart jumps out.

Downstream looking for a loan to pay the installments. The money given to Beni sometimes I keep. And eat potluck.

"It." I gave the two pieces of red money with a feeling of affection.

"Thank you, Mom. Excuse me first." The two men in leather jackets left.

Me? Confused at what to eat. So on is the complexity I face.

But I never gave up the intention capital and went into the woods or bushes looking for vegetables that can be cooked. I'll sell it anyway. Gratitude.

Ocean I take and go around peddling my livelihood. Fern vegetables, tendrils, tuber keladi and others that I produce from the forest.

Not infrequently also people will say and sneer.

"That's a bastard,"

"Cheating is not at home."

"No shame, come back with Beni,"

"What kind of woman is she?"

"Hus, don't talk about people!"

Not a few people defended me.

For the sake of my children I am willing to do anything. Although there is shame.

Never stopped my tears from flowing, there were only those who destroyed it.

I admit Mas Beni little by little changed. He began to give me advice and began to give me a living even a little.

Drunk and gambling began to be little he forgot.

Today he came home I prepared his favorite dishes clove jengkol and fry shrimp crackers.

Money from my vegetable sale.

The sound of cars coming into my yard. Kan, he's home.

"Assynnya!"

"Greetings waalaikum!" Cheers were welcomed by her children.

I smiled at the doorway. I brought her stuff.

"Clean yourself first, Mom. After that eat. I made you a jengkol stew."

"Oh, huh? All right, I'm taking a shower." He looked for a towel and passed to the bathroom.

Mas Beni voraciously ate my cooking. I like to see it.

I poured him a glass of water to serve as best I could. Yes, I know even in vain.

At 23:00 it rained heavily. Continue until morning does not stop. I'm afraid the river's going up. My house is 500 meters by the river. Sometimes, long rains cause flooding.

If it floods I'm tired and draining. And that scares me if the house is flooded. There the most water there. Hopefully not flooding.

At 07:00 in the morning.

Rain does not also subside my heart restless what if the flood?

At 12:00 p.m.

The rain stopped but the night started to rain again. If it rains like this remember Mas Ferdi. We make warm feelings full of warmth. And ....

"Astaghfiullah!" I said caress the chest.

Oh God, forgive me, I. I still miss him.