SHE'S YOUR MOTHER, NOT MY WIFE.
PAPA SURYA, SICK

"Darling, I've heard Papa Surya is sick. Now it is in Permata Hospital" said Mas Gaga.

I was shocked to hear that Papa was sick. Although he repeatedly disappointed my heart, but he was still my only parent.

I want to go there, but can I remember the wounds they made have not healed.

"Darling, are you okay?" Gaga is worried about me, maybe she knows what I'm thinking.

"Hmm, yes. What pain?" my words are a little vibrating. I have not been able to get rid of this disappointment, every time I remember my tears keep flowing.

"You don't cry, baby. Papa is okay, he said just tiredness and a lot of thoughts. I asked Mr. Ari for information" he said, trying to calm my heart.

"You don't worry, honey. I will keep telling you later, yes. Don't be good yourself, take care of our son Edward. Never force your heart, for it is only you who know. I don't want you to push yourself too much."

I don't know what to say, because Mas Gaga understands me the most.

I just kept listening to her words. I'm sure he'll do his best for us.

"Oh yes, dear. The training hall in the village office is done? Yesterday I hadn't seen it had to go back to Jakarta." he tried to turn my attention to Papa's problem.

"Almost, Mas. It's 90%." I said while trying to hold back tears.

"You crying, baby?"

She always knew my little lies, making me unable to hold back these tears.

"Cry, baby. I can't ask you to tell me what happened, but I know you're smart. Better to take off than you tormented yourself, baby. Can't Mas's presence cover up your past shortcomings, dear?"

There was a sense of disappointment in the last sentence Mas Gaga said, making me realize my mistake to him. I was not very good at being grateful all this time.

"Sorry, Mas. You're more than anything I've ever had. I'll try, Mas." I said wipe away the tears.

"Honey, if you want to make it. Then you must forgive. It's hard, I know that. But you must dare to appear, do not continue to hide. Cause it's gonna keep hurting your heart, itself."

That is what Mas Gaga said. I've been hiding all this time, but I'm not wrong about this. Why should I hide and run from them, not those who hurt me?.

"I'll try, Mas." I said slowly.

"Yes, honey. I'm sure you can. Later help Mas find a trainer teacher for the training hall yes, dear. As per the proposal that Input submitted to the village head. Hopefully quickly realized the small building and hopefully useful for the surrounding residents."

I'm not very good at being grateful, getting a husband and father to my son who is super kind and considerate.

Not to me but to the people around here. Even thinking about the future of children here by making a training hall for young people.

"Yes, Mas. Don't worry, I'll take care of the problem here. Mas, what are you doing?." I asked.

"Mas is preparing a file for the tender meeting later in the afternoon, pray for ya" he said.

"Always, Mum. If so, continue, my. I'm going to the village hall to see the progress there."

"Sir, don't daydream. Later the beauty of moving tablets to me." teased Mbak Eri when he saw me daydreaming.

"It can be, Ma'am. Where you going?" my many.

"You go home, Ma'am. Want to ask about training." he said with a shy smile.

"Oh, here here." I waved my hand.

She laughs.

"Why then, mother, daydreaming?" he asked in a serious tone.

I smiled, Tumben once Sister Eri spoke seriously.

"So until I call three times do not look, if there is a problem sharing, Ma'am. We're not here for anyone else, are we, Ma'am." he put his hand on my thigh. I clapped his hand.

"Yes, thank you."

It's true, the people here are very friendly. Recalling the moment after giving birth, Mas Gaga wanted to find someone who could help me care for Edward's baby but the residents here no one accepted our offer and instead flocked bodong came to take turns to help us.

Bring the harvest in the form of vegetables, fruit, fish and tubers. Not infrequently who bring cooked food with a special menu of nursing mothers. In the morning someone came to bring us breakfast, even helping Mas Gaga clean my baby's dirty clothes.

"Don't use machines, Mas. Later broken baby clothes, let the Mbok just here clean." pinta Mbok Darmi my neighbor.

We are reluctant to accept their help, but they always insist on the same word.

"Are we not family to you?."

Their powerful words that make us never be able to reject them.

"I'm not grateful, Mom. I am still insistent on hurting myself with my past. Until I forget I have an amazingly good husband." I tried to share with Mbak Eri. Although he can be serious, but I'm sure he's good at advising people in his way.

"Gini loh Mbak, actually easy. Maud

still sick with the treatment of the mother of an ex-husband. Right?"

I'm nodding.

"This apple is rotten a little, then we throw it away immediately. If not the rot spread. Same with your heart, Mother. If the pain eats away at the heart, throw it away. Let the other parts of the liver healthy and clean. Then our lives will be quiet and peaceful."

"I'll try, Ma'am. I've got Edward and Mas Gaga. I should have been completely happy. It's true why I gnawed at my own heart with pain."

He's nodding.

"Thank you, Ma'am." I looked at him full of haru. I have many brothers, mothers, fathers and children who come to my house to play with Edward.