SHE'S YOUR MOTHER, NOT MY WIFE.
JEALOUS?

"Darling, it's been.. Forget it all, even though Mas knew it was heavy. But didn't they just let you go from the beginning?." Mas Gaga grabbed me in the car.

"Yes, Mas. I know, it's just that this feeling can't be lied to. I could never imagine if Edward was there and understood this feeling." I buried my face in his chest.

"Mas sure, Edward doesn't care about it all. I believe and know very well the nature of our firstborn, when his mother did not understand.. He's not a kid who cares about this." rubbed my head.

I didn't think, right too. During this time even Edward was reluctant to call Om Abraham, his grandfather. Why am I worried, even if I'm like this. As if I were reluctant to be forgotten, I lost my mind to think about the unqualified. I'm so embarrassed and awkward to look at Mas Gaga now, she must think I'm jealous!.

"Yes right, Mas. Why should I think so narrow. All this time Edward didn't need them, so I just wish they needed Edward. I'm sorry Mas.." I hugged my husband tightly.

"Dear, no problem. That feeling is common, baby." kiss my hair.

Arriving at home I greeted the cheerful laughter of Edwina who was in Edward's arms.

"Mom.. Is the baby born?" edward's question reminded me of that scene back in the hospital. I'm nodding.

"Thank God, I heard back from Mikola. Om, Auntie and Mikola are on their way here, ' he said Om Reza called them." Edward gave me news I didn't know.

"Oh, yes." I turned to Mas Gaga who was playing with Edwina in my sling.

"Yes, great.. Mikola is the baby's sister. So it's only natural they met, after all his mother was struggling in the operating room." Mas Gaga's answer was a little cold.

Maybe he's uncomfortable I'm thinking too much about their family.

I inhaled a deep breath..

"Yes right, we're in. Have you guys eaten?" I ask my two children.

"Da-dah Mam. "the Viennese chirp with his anxious face.

"Well, Mommy's smart kid..."

We enjoyed playing little things together with my two children.

While enjoying a snack in warm tea.

"Yes.. So we play to the village." I leaned against the chest of Mas Gaga's field watching our two children.

"Yes so.. You keep delaying." he answered stroking my head.

Yes indeed I postponed our vacation plans, because we kept thinking about baby Clara. But right now it seems like my job is done, I don't want to continue to drag on their families. My family needs me too.

"Sorry Mas.. We can arrange this Sunday, Mas? Coincidentally Edward is also on a semester break right, we can relax on vacation without disturbing his studies" I said.

"Dear, later Mas will settle the work that requires Mas present, the rest later let Ricardo handle it." Gaga agreed.

I nodded, "Have you told Mpok there, didn't you, Mas?" my many.

"It doesn't seem like it, baby. Let's be a surprise anyway if we tell them. They will definitely be overwhelmed to prepare something that troubles them" said Mas Gaga.

"Darling, I can't beg for one wish." looked at him expectantly.

"What do you want, Mas?." I was a little anxious and pounding. It's not usually Mas Gaga talking like this.

"Mas, please.. From now on don't be too late with their problems. I do not dislike your attitude and your sincerity for them, but I do not want you to be hurt. And... You always feel uncomfortable when you are with your family. Forgive the narrow-minded Mas, but Mas does not want to keep suppressing feelings, Mas." look at him expectantly with eyes that pierced my heart.

Yeah right, I was too selfish thinking about them and them. I forgot my husband's feelings. Although my heart no longer feels anything to Reza, but my husband's heart must be uncomfortable. I was too busy thinking about Clara's dying condition, but I kept getting my husband's heart hurt.

I hugged Mas Gaga.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I'm sorry, because I don't understand how you feel. I'm too selfish." he hugged me and kissed my head.

"Thank you dear, forgive the feelings of Mas who can not understand this."

I shook my head, "I don't understand Mas, I hurt your feelings. I'm sorry, Mas. Thank you for being patient with me."

"Yes, honey. Keep being a good person who is sincere, baby." he said.

"Yes, Mas. And if I hurt you, please talk to me like this. I'll try to keep my distance from their families, just an outsider" I assured my heart.

"Yes dear.. Thanks for understanding how I feel, yeah."

Doing good is good, but we do not know our good deeds are right without hurting others or not.

Now I learned to do good according to my heart, without going too deep and not hurting my husband. All this time, I was too deep to interfere in their affairs, to spend a long time. I was too late in grief, not knowing that the person by my side was feeling the pain of my actions.

They are a part of me, a part that has passed in my life. I should have stayed away, limited myself to his life. It's true, "We can't relate well, let alone be family with, Ex." It will hurt the feelings of the person who is by your side right now.

I just consider them my family, because when I was alone they were by my side. Regardless of my relationship with Reza, I appreciate Om and Aunt like family. Moreover, they know both my late mother and my father.

But...

I looked at Mas Gaga's face deeply. His face from the side was looking seriously at our two children.

But now I have a heart to take care of. I don't want to hurt him let alone lose him. I looked at my two children, let alone them.. These two kids are amazing to me, the light in my life. My little son who has lived a bitter life from the womb, he whose presence is unknown to his biological father.

The three of them I have to take care of, they are my family. Which will always be by my side.

"Mam - mam a-a. "the voice of Edwina scatters my daydreams.

"Yes dear.. my prettiest daughter.." I raised a round little body. The cheeks are round until comfortable once on press.

"Look, Mom. Her cheeks are like burgers." said Edward.

We laughed at Edward's parable. She symbolizes her sister's chubby cheeks like a burger.

My daughter is excited, she doesn't understand what her brother is saying. Maybe he thinks it's a compliment.