SHE'S YOUR MOTHER, NOT MY WIFE.
RESIGNEDLY

After Mas Gaga's departure, my heart felt tight.

When I saw the faces of Clara and Mikola that I loved so much. Mikola is this small child, used by her mother only for personal gain.

After reading through all the documents and evidence submitted by Mas Gaga, I was confused to have to behave.

The face of Papa who could not resist to resist his disappointment. Take Mama home and I'm sure Mama's crying right now.

I stared at the face of the little angel who was sound asleep. How funny and happy he would be if he could be healthy and run here and there with me. I remembered Edward, Bella's son. He's my biological son but I don't deserve it, I don't even have his confession.

Can I be greedy to get Edward. But I remember what Mas Gaga said last time.

"I have no right and cannot even hope." I murmured.

"What's up, Mom? So why did Mas Gaga mention Mikola's name?." asked Clara.

I refused to answer questions from him. Seeing him was tired.

"Mas.." she asked again.

"Later you know for yourself. I go, take care of Mikola." I left Clara who was still looking at me questioningly.

"Don't leave without explaining anything, Reza!" he said.

I shook off his hand, disgusted I remembered the woman I fought for and protected all this time turned out to be playing a lot of men out there.

"Later you will know, this is all the result of what you do" I said.

My heart aches, only yesterday did I introduce Mikola as my son to the public and announce Clara as his mother. But now it's not all mine. This punishment is too much for me, I hurt the woman who was so sincere to me and the child in her womb all at once. Now I feel the loss for the umpteenth time.

Without feeling I was in front of Bella's house. There was Edward who was running after Mas Gaga by shouting "Daddy". Tears that I could not bear suddenly wet my cheeks. If I hadn't hurt Bella then, I might be the one Edward is after right now.

She was so happy to hug Mas Gaga and kiss her affectionately. By his side Bella embraces the loin-loving warm-hearted Mas Gaga.

My heart aches to see them, whether I am a greedy evil man, my heart is not happy to see them happy. While I am grieving.

I want Edward to call me Papa, I want Bella to hug me affectionately. That's all I have to have. I should be in that happy position.

I'm heading to Abraham's Missions. I want to know the opinions of my parents.

Mama Papa was sitting in the living room when I arrived.

"Sit, Za. Let's talk." Papa looked at me.

"Leave, Clara. Let go of Mikola."

I stared in disbelief at him, Papa can already accept that Mikola is not his granddaughter. Then what about me?

"But, Pa. Mikola.." I argue.

"He's not your son! restore, he. For Clara, it's time for you to let go of the woman******" Papa said without looking at me.

I glanced at Mama who was just silent, her eyes were red and her cheeks were still wet. They may cry because they are disappointed. Papa's nose is still red. It's their decision after knowing this truth. Can I do it?

I'm keeping quiet. I really love Mikola. For Clara I don't care about her anymore, but Mikola.. I've considered him my own son all along. He brought me out of trouble when I lost Bella. Now he is also a time bomb that breaks my heart.

"Good, Pa. I'll do as you ask." I held my tears down.

I wanted to tell them that Edward was my son, but I remembered myself. I don't want to make them feel happy just for a moment. What if later they can't accept my deal with Mas Gaga?.

They've been blaming me for hurting Bella and for Mikola's presence. But if they find out, that Bella left pregnant young and alone. I'm gonna be in a rage and I don't know what else is gonna happen. For now I can't accept hate anymore. My heart is hurting, I need both of my parents.

"Remember, Za. Be the man in charge from today on. For your future and a better life. This is the reward for your selfishness and Papa hopes this will be a lesson and a mistake that you will not repeat again." Papa's advice to me. I'm nodding.

"Son.. Mama hope now you can get a sincere woman and soon have a happy family." Mama rubbed my head.

"And remember! Don't you ever interrupt Bella's life. Even if it is the intention in your heart. Papa won't tolerate any of your actions that will disturb their happiness." Papa's threat seemed to have read my heart. My heart is envious and spiteful to see Bella's happiness at this moment. I did have the intention to find a way to get custody of Edward. But it looks like Papa can read it.

"Forget the past, live your new life. If you need time to heal your wounds, go home to the white Mension let Papa Mama here for a while, right, Pa?." Mama's advice is correct, right, in order to dispel my evil intentions it seems like I have to leave temporarily maybe forever.

Papa did not answer, only a small nod.

"All right, Ma Pa. Tomorrow I go home to the white mension. I'll replace Papa's work there." I said.

They nodded.

I went to the room to pack clothes and some things I would bring later. After learning that Edward was my son, I took a picture of him on his birthday last time. I rubbed his worried picture, my heart was eager to carry the photo. But I have to focus on myself right now, let them be happy on the track and I have to find my own happiness.

I put the picture on my chest. Looking at her tiny face made my heart calm.

"When Papa realizes your presence, son. Maybe we're together now. But Papa was stupid, son. Your presence is not only not realized by me, I even let go of your Mama with my own lust. The path that Papa takes is grim, son. May you be a responsible and warm man. Papa loves you, just once came to Papa's dream son, call Papa for me first and last. Papa won't ask you much, because Papa owes you so much. Come son, call Papa for me." I clenched his smiling picture sitting on the chair. In front of her is a birthday cake.

"Edward the Son of Gaga should be Edward the son of Reza or Edward the son of Lincoln. Because you're my son, son." I don't feel like I'm crying. Why does someone else's name written in your name make my heart hurt even more.