The Untold Story
Loving One Time

- B's PoV--

*2003, Two Days Later: Cathedral Church, Jakarta*

I read a romance novel. The one sentence written in the novel, was so embedded in my memory.

The sentence reads this: Man.. They live once, die once, and love once.

At first I doubted the sentence, because in reality there are many people falling in love repeatedly in his life. Many people change their partner like changing their clothes. Many people are in love repeatedly, engaged and even married many times.

Back then, I thought that all were just silly and illogical words. I even assumed it was the flowers of the author's mind to create a romantic impression on the novel.

But.... I'm starting to doubt my own thoughts now. I doubted what was on my mind at the time and began to believe what I was laughing at.

The departure of Indra in the rain that night, the departure of a man who only left a letter containing the words of a late confession of love, really changed my world.

L'm.... I don't want to lose him, let alone forget him.

I could feel Indra's suffering for loving me, in every stroke of letter he wrote. I could feel, how word for word in the letter was strung together, while holding back the pain in my heart when expressing his feelings.

The only thing I don't understand and regret is him... Choose go.... He chose to leave without even listening to how I answered his feelings.

After all the love he had expressed. After all the memories he left behind. After all....

After letting my heart go to him. The man chose to go and make this love no longer masterful.

It's goin... To make it easier for me to live a destiny that never sided with us.

It's goin... To make room for me, so that I can swing surely in a fate line that has never been friends with the love story of the two of us.

It's goin... Without ever knowing that now I am willing to challenge the message written to us as long as he continues to be beside me.

It's goin... Without ever hearing that right now I can say 'I love you'.

And for all the pain that we have to endure both forever....

Will I be able to turn my life and my love to other men? Will I be able to keep up with Indra's request to learn romance with a man who is completely foreign to my heart?

What if...

What if I cannot turn my heart away? What if I forget how to love after this? What if... I can't fall in love anymore?

Indra may be the first and last person who is able to hold control over all my love. He did not realize that he was so dominant that he did not leave even the slightest chance for the others.

I'm probably getting married to a conglomerate. I might give birth to golden-blooded descendants.

However, deep down in this heart, deep and hidden, the love within it knows exactly what the name of its owner is.

Indra.. Only Indra... He was the only one.

More so at this time. When everyone seems happy. When laughter and smiles blossom like the bridal flowers I hold on my palms.

Please tell me... Please teach me... How can I give my love to someone who has never been the master of my heart? How to get this heart to bend the knee to someone who is not... The senses?

"Bellatrix Milliane Atmaja will you accept Prajadiwangsa Aditya Banyu Wardhana as your husband and pledge to be faithful to him in joy and sorrow, in sickness and in health, in existence and in non-existence, until death do you two part?" I heard Father Albert asking that question in my ear.

Everyone is waiting now. Everyone without exception wanted to hear my answer. After Aditya answered that question so loudly and confidently, it was my turn to voice it.

Everyone is waiting but not with time. Time continued to pass and he went hand in hand with my silence in front of the altar.

My tears did not drip, but my lips were hard to speak. I knew that I had no reason or strength to answer that question.

"Bellatrix Milliane Atmaja will you accept Prajadiwangsa Aditya Banyu Wardhana as your husband and pledge to be faithful to him in joy and sorrow, in sickness and in health, in existence and in non-existence, until death do you two part?" I heard Father Albert ask that question for the second time.

Now I hear a voice of uneasiness around the place where I am. Someone started whispering. Someone started talking to himself. However, even so, I could still feel that the only human who remained standing quietly there was only the man before me.

"Mothers, perhaps the bride is currently nervous until it is difficult to express her promise of love." I heard Father Albert trying to melt the atmosphere that immediately turned tense, because I did not speak.

"Huhahaha....." The laughter of the people present was heard. They were all laughing as a way of thinking naturally of the strangeness I was doing.

"Well, I'll ask you one more time and one last time." I could hear Father Albert taking a deep breath before re-questioning my commitment. I know that even Father Albert is feeling restless now.

"Bellatrix Milliane Atmaja, are you willing to accept Prajadiwangsa Aditya Banyu Wardhana as your husband and promise to be faithful to him in joy and sorrow, in sickness and in health, in existence and in non-existence, until death do you two part?" I closed my eyes as soon as I heard the question say for the third time.

Along with my perfectly closed eyelids, my tears suddenly dripped. With the condition of the eyes still closed, I was like seeing Indra's face smiling gently at me. That face brightened his smile while nodding. Could this be what he wanted?

In the next second, I opened my eyes immediately. Unintentionally, my eyes that had just opened were met with the cold, deep look of a man standing before me. Highlight the eyes that I hate, but maybe the ones I will also meet for life.

Without thinking any longer, I decided to end this tension by doing what Indra wanted me to do. With a slightly quivering voice, I finally said, "Yes, I'm willing... With all my heart and soul. I will welcome you Prajadiwangsa Aditya Banyu Wardhana as my husband, and pledge to be faithful to you in joy and sorrow, in sickness and in health, in existence and non-existence, until death do us both part."

I heard the people in the room take a deep breath and exhale violently. They were like people who had been released from a heavy burden, after hearing me answer that question.

However, among those who felt relieved, I found that same man standing before me at this moment, who was, the man with the cold and deep eyes was even still keeping his expression from being read by anyone from now on. The man was still standing quietly, as if nothing had ever happened.

"With the authority that the Lord and the church have given me, I hereby declare that you are both now a lawful married couple. Adityas..... You can open the veil and kiss Bellatrix, your bride." I saw the man step closer to my body.

This time I could feel my body shaking. A reaction I haven't had in a long time. The reaction that used to come up, when I didn't like something I was trying to force.

Slowly, I watched Aditya open the veil that had covered my face. A few seconds later, he looked at me deeply. I really can't interpret the meaning of that look.

At first glance I was pensive. I was still trying to guess the meaning of his gaze, until later....

The cup!!!

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