The Untold Story
Goodbye
- B's PoV--
*2003: David*
Was I childish for following my ego back then? Seems like. Am I short-minded? It's probable. Then do I have to continue with this crazy plan??? Sure have!
Before those questions would be asked by others to me someday, I had questioned them to myself, all the way from the house to Indra's apartment. It was nothing, I just wanted to show myself, that I was in a conscious state when I decided to surrender myself to the only man who had ever filled my heart with his entire being. I just want to make sure that there will never be a word of penance later, especially if the regret arises because of immature considerations.
The others will judge me and consider me a fool someday. The others will question how I, could so easily become dark-eyed.
They will and will do. There will be no one by my side, for they can only see what they can see. They did not understand that ever since my meeting with Aditya, ever since that man tried to be a part of my life, ever since then, I have lost the light. If so, what else should I regret? For it is not these eyes that are darkened, but my whole life.
My decision is round. I have also considered all the risks. My life will end after this and I just want to enjoy the sweet remnants of it along with the man I love. Tell me now, what's wrong with trying to be happy one last time?
I looked at the watch in my hand. Time has shown over ten o'clock in the evening. With raging feelings, between anger, anxiety, fear, sadness, and hope to feel a bit of happiness before losing it all, I drove my car at high speed. I don't know, but I feel like I'm racing against something I can't even explain.
Hurry along!! Hurry along!! Only that word appeared in my heart.
I continued to drive the car at high speed even though heavy rain was still pouring down the streets. Every now and then, while making sure my car drove properly, I also wiped away the tears that suddenly fell down my cheeks with one hand. Those tears didn't stop flowing even when I could feel that my eyes were so tired.
Seconds by seconds passed. I also increased the speed of my car as soon as I realized that the road I was passing was now more and more empty, and, until I didn't realize that the green light that was visible to my dewy eyes had now turned red. Until finally....
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
------------------
*2003: Jakarta, Apartments India*
Tong Ting!
Tong Ting!
With a breath that is choking, a heart that is like chasing, and a body that is somewhat shaking, I now even still force my finger to press the doorbell of the Indra apartment repeatedly. After almost losing my life because the car I was driving almost collided with a truck that had stayed a few inches longer right in front of my car, I who had neutralized the tension of my heart earlier must now return to breathe after running from the basement parking lot to the front door of the apartment unit Indra.
I just want to see those shady eyes immediately. Highlight the eyes that have always been the cure of all my anxieties and worries all along.
Tong Ting!!
Tong Ting!!
I may have pressed the doorbell a dozen times. However, I did not get the man to open it to me immediately.
"Come on! Open door!" I muttered inwardly as I continued to press the doorbell of his unit. Not satisfied with pressing the bell, I have now even banged on the dark brown wooden door.
Dor!! Dor!!
Dor!! Dor!!
Tong Ting!!
Tong Ting!!
Dor!! Dor!!
"Bella's? you're that?" A slightly loud voice now sounded in my ear. But unfortunately, that voice was not the male voice I expected.
I saw Inneke, Indra's next-door neighbor coming out of his unit door. I realized maybe I was making a fuss.
I knew Inneke because Indra had introduced the two of us when I was visiting the male apartment unit.They were both like brothers and had been neighbors for a long time.
"Inne... I'm sorry, I-I must have bothered you." I who immediately felt bad finally stopped the action of the commotion that I had previously done in front of the apartment unit owned by Indra.
"The Hydra is not inside. Get in my unit. I have something to give you." I saw Inneke looking at me wistfully. Along with that, I felt that something was wrong with my heart.
"What has happened something with... Indra?" I just dare to throw that question in my heart.
That night, it was still raining very hard. The air conditioning in the Inneke apartment unit also seems to feel cooler than usual. I was restless and wondered not to find Indra in his unit, only to be able to sit on the sofa of Inneke who had just bailed to go to the kitchen for a while.
I still faithfully sat there wiping my cold arms and waiting for Inneke who was still struggling in his kitchen to make me a cup of hot tea. If only I didn't need that hot tea to ease the chill running through my body, I would naturally attract the young girl to explain all without wasting any time.
Where's Indra? What exactly does Inneke want to give up?
"You look fucked up, Bella!" Few people call me Bella, and Inneke is one of those few.
I saw the girl walking while carrying two cups of hot tea for the two of us. Gracefully, he placed the cups on the table.
"Drink! You look agitated." Inneke looked at me with pity. I nodded my head as I took the cup and drank it carefully.
After spending a quarter cup of that hot tea and feeling that my body was starting to warm up, I put the tea cup back in its position. I didn't forget to thank you after that.
"Nothing." Inne smiled gently at me.
"Now, can you help me? Do you know where Indra is?" I immediately asked the girl without delay. While Inneke, he frowned in response to my question.
"So he never told you anything?" This time it was me who scrunched my forehead.
"Whatchu mean? Please don't beat around the bush!" That night I felt my heart rumble. Is this a sign that something bad has happened?
"Indra is gone." Inneke paused for a moment his words.
"P-go?" I asked in a soft voice.
"Yes. Just new. It was supposed to be 1 o'clock in the morning, but apparently the schedule accelerated at 11:30 tonight." Inneke looked at me question-marked as if he was investigating why I knew nothing.
"I was just thinking maybe you didn't know about the speed of that schedule. But it looks like you..." Inneke stopped his words because I had cut him off first.
"Sorry, I have to go to Inne Airport. I'll see you again tomorrow. Please provide the name of the airline and its departure destination!" I said to the girl standing up and looking for my car keys in the bag.
"Bella's... Indra left something for you." I felt Inneke's hand hold my hand against moving. After that, I saw Inne taking something out of her pants pocket.
An... Letterbox.
"Indra decided to leave when he heard and saw the news of your marriage in the media, Bella! Even though he never said it, I know that he was very hurt." Inneke's face was now growing more sad. He felt like he could feel the feeling of Indra.
"If you can't cancel your wedding, let her go and learn to forget you!" The girl reconnected her words while thrusting the letter closer to me.
"I'm sure everything's here. Read it!" Inneke again thrust his hand and brought the letter closer to me. With a trembling hand I accepted it and then left the apartment unit of Inneke with weakened and limped legs.
--------------
\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=
Dear B, my,
Hey sweety.. I love you!
If it were that easy to say it to you, I would have said it a thousand times.
Yet... We both know how thick and high the wall that stands between us is, so as loud as I shout it, it will not change anything.
Yes, nothing will change between us. I remain an Indra who can only see and take care of you from afar, without ever being able to have you at any time. And it's proven, now...
When I saw and heard the news of your wedding in the media a few days ago, I knew it was coming. The moments where a Bellatrix Atmaja, forever only became the name of the main play in the love story Syailendra Lesmana imperfect.
I can only hope as far as making Bellatrix my dance partner. However, he will never be my life partner as hard as I want him to be.
You may now ask, why have I never fought for us? B, I love you so much and want to fight for you. But it is this love that prevents me from putting yourself in a difficult position.
How could I possibly make you choose between me or your parents? How could I possibly ask you to choose me and ignore all the affection you've had from them all along?
B, since childhood I have no parents. I know what it's like to lose a family. How could you and I build a family on the destruction of another?
So, I decided to go. I left with all the memories of us. Memories that will live forever in my heart, even if our story is never perfect. Memories that will continue to live in every show that I will hold.
That's how I love you, B! That's how I make our story eternal.
So, Sweety, please be happy! For just as I direct my happiness now in a different way, I hope you will do the same.
Build a perfect family! Fill your house with laughter from your children, the fruit of your love. Learn to love her so you don't suffer!
I love you forever! Goodbye goodbye!
Indra
\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=
I hit my hand many times on the steering wheel after reading Indra's letter while crying. I don't care that the hand has been flushed now.
Indra left and I lost her! I lost my love and the last chance to feel the remnants of my happiness with her.
"Aarrrrgghhhhhh........." I screamed loudly in the car. The car that witnessed that I had lost all the love I had, until all that was left was a body without a soul.
--------------
Happy reading!
Sorry new update! I'm out of grief. May your friends be faithful and patient.