Beautiful Monster
Maybe it's my fault

"Why do we have to go here? I want to eat spicy pizza with lots of peppers." Sarah's lost her appetite. Even just imagining rice made him want to vomit. After that his heart until his body just felt reluctant to be filled even though he was hungry. Since then his stomach has been sending signals in the form of voices.

Feby who was driving beside Sarah could only stand still and drove in the direction indicated by the maps. His friend had refused to eat rice since noon. If Sarah ate the spicy pizza she saw while passing through the shopping center, most likely her stomach was even problematic.

Sarah shouldn't have called Feby to help her out of trouble. But if it wasn't Feby, who else could have taken him as far away as possible to get to this town? The girl who was driving just didn't realize that her car could get to where it is now.

The car stopped at a red light. Feby checked how much longer it would take to get to the restaurant he was going to. While the girl beside him was busy exhaling a long breath, complaining full of anger. It was not Feby's fault, but he was nagging his friend.

Outside, Sarah sees some confused people on a bus. Therefore the girls who were seen wearing high school uniforms there were busy pulling something out of the bag. They gave a few sheets of thin white objects to someone in front.

The light turned green, Sarah could no longer see the interesting sight earlier. Now Feby's got his attention. "I heard there's good spicy fried rice. Think of it instead of that spicy pizza you want. My dad recommended this place, so it must be good." Sarah, according to him, is tired.

A few minutes later, Feby's car stopped. Perfectly parked in front of a crowded restaurant visited by those who are married. Seeing the kids in there, Sarah was fed up. Especially if you have to go in and hear the noise they make.

Feby was standing next to Sarah's door. Open the door for the friend not to refuse. "Come down and we'll eat. Then we'll do what you want, okay?" All right, Sarah got out of the car and followed behind Feby. Come in to that restaurant.

Inside, the warm atmosphere typical of family events immediately welcomes their new arrival. The laughter between the father, son, and mother felt very thick adding to the positive aura throughout the restaurant. Without further ado, Feby immediately brought his friend in line. According to his father, this place is usually crowded at night, so you have to quickly queue and find a place.

Sarah didn't see the menu the way Feby did. He would order spicy fried rice just like his friend said when in the car. For the drink it's up to Feby to order what. After a while, he finally found what he was looking for. "I want to go to the toilet for a while" Sarah said.

Feby turned his head, looking at his friend who then went missing behind the door of the female toilet. Hope his friend doesn't cry anymore. His face looks messy, maybe he wants to refresh his face before eating. Feby was still staring at the toilet until he didn't realize that the line in front of him had left a little.

A few days later Sarah returned. His face was bright again, his hair was tied so easy when eating later. The confident aura of the white-skinned girl came back again. The sad and desperate face seemed to go carried away by the water when the girl cleaned her face.

"The restaurant will soon be closed, but the visitors look more and more." Sarah circulated her gaze, glancing around where she stood. Once the customer leaves, the finished table is cleaned by the waiter here. They work very hard.

"Good fun with the food." The friendly words of a restaurant waiter distract Sarah. His tone that was so smooth, pleasant, and as if showing a happy feeling made the one who heard him smile a little. It was like feeling the happiness felt by the male worker.

When he turned around with a tray, the man met Sarah's eyes. Feby, who tried to talk to his friend but did not get a response, stared at what made his friend speechless. "Oh Rajendra's. You work here?" Feby immediately knew when he saw the apron used by his neighbor.

Rajendra had little time to say hello. "Yes as you can see. I have to get back to work, see you." Sarah remained unmoved, unable to greet people she had known for a long time. It feels awkward because it has not communicated for a long time.

All the time, Sarah was silent. His mind went back to what happened a few hours before it ended here. He still could not believe that the long-established relationship he had with his lover had to be broken. The man said if it was all Sarah's fault, the relationship ended because of Sarah.

Though initially Sarah was happy because she could meet her lover after a long time busy with their respective affairs. For the past three months Sarah has been lonely and has been asking to meet her but her lover has been reluctant. There is still a lot of work he said. There are still many college assignments as a reason.

Lunch at the best restaurants, owners of the city's endless busy scenery. Sarah prepares the best clothes to welcome the arrival of the lover from afar. He immediately embraced the body of a tall man who he missed so much once he found his existence. The smile did not forget he suggested, "you've finally come."

Sarah was unaware of the different gaze her lover gave her upon meeting him. The feeling of happiness made him blind. Even the thin smile that was imprinted from the start met Sarah no attention. He hugged his girlfriend before he decided to go in.

"I miss you so much. I wish we could meet more often. I'm glad you could come quick."

When she started eating, Sarah brought a lot of chat material. It still didn't feel strange when her lover only responded briefly. Sarah should have stopped as soon as the warm response she was supposed to get. Preventing his heart from getting sicker as soon as the bad news came.

"There's a nice mall around here. Want to play at the arcade for a second?" Sarah is wringing spoiled in her lover's arm. Forget about the people staring at the two strangely. Sarah was just too happy to meet her loved ones after three months of not seeing each other.

"Sarah, I have something to tell you." The second step stopped, making Sarah stare confused. "We'd better end this relationship." Hearing that, Sarah's face changed. His smile faded, both his hands falling from the lover's arms.

"What do you mean? If you don't want to play in an arcade, we could spend some time somewhere else. We can go where you want." As much as possible Sarah put away the sentence she had heard from her lover. Rejecting the bad words his sense of hearing received.

"You heard me, Sarah. I'm tired of having to keep seeing you. You know if the distance of the city we live in now is not close. You can never wait for me, you keep demanding to meet. Sorry, maybe I'm not patient in dealing with this attitude of yours. I'm really sorry, Sarah."

Sarah's body was brought into her arms, she smelled the scent of the hair of someone she had made her ex-lover. "Hopefully you can meet a more patient man and always meet you, Sarah. I don't think we're a match. I'm preparing our future, but if you keep asking me to meet, I'm in trouble."

Sarah was not heard. Her lover-more precisely the girl's ex-lover let go of her embrace slowly. He looked Sarah in the eye for the last time. The body is not able if it should be asked to always meet. Even in his heart, he was very happy to enjoy time with Sarah. His soul was tired, Sarah's work and demands were too much.

"Be careful when you get home. Watch your way. I hope we can live life as usual after this. See you soon."

Sarah's cheeks were wet again. Quickly Feby who realized it took tissue from the table and he gave it to Sarah. It is only fitting that when she spoke with him, Sarah was silent. He must be thinking about his ex-girlfriend. Feby admits Sarah is strong because she only cries for a moment. Or maybe Sarah just refused to show a cry.

"I understand how you feel. It must have been painful to have to part ways without you stopping. For now, give me your strength back. Finish your food, then we go to my place." Sarah didn't respond, she did exactly what Feby said. This spicy fried rice is perfect for his wounded heart. A little to ease the disappointment.

The restaurant began to fall. The lids will be installed as soon as the last customer exits. Before leaving, Sarah wants to go to the toilet in a moment. There was no way he would be dealing with Feby's cousin with a messy face. He left his friend in a place that was almost empty.

"You guys still here?" Rajendra approaches Feby's desk, intending to clear the table next to him. "You're studying in this town?"

Feby shook his head, hastening his drink so Rajendra could bring the cutlery he had used. "I didn't know you worked, Rajendra. I thought you were in college." At least that's what Feby got from his father. Rajendra then explained that he only worked part-time here after finishing college.

Seeing Feby and Rajendra chatting, Sarah fell silent at the toilet door. The girl decided to take her bag in the seat next to Feby without looking at Rajendra. The man's smile reminded Sarah of her former lover. When Sarah appears, both Feby and Rajendra seem to not want to interfere with her activities.

"I'm tired, can't we go now?" sarah said sharply without looking at Rajendra. The friendly atmosphere immediately changed drastically.

"certain. Wait in the car. I'll see you later." After Sarah's departure into her car, Feby wanted to order something before leaving. His female cousin wanted Feby to buy food there before coming. But before leaving Rajendra, Feby apologizes for Sarah's cold behavior. "He's got a problem, so he's sensitive."

"No problem."

Due to Feby's order, he becomes the last customer to leave the restaurant. Several other employees had also left when Feby's order came. Rajendra brought his friend food and so they chatted until Ignacia came. Feby hurriedly left because he felt bad.

In the car, Feby puts his cousin's food in the back seat. Beside her, Sarah was staring blankly at the crowded street in front of the restaurant. "You okay?" Ask the car owner. Sarah did not respond, her eyes felt hot. His tongue is too thick to speak.

"We'll just go home."

Feby drove the car back to city density. Along the way there was only a faint sound of vehicles. Secretly the smell of food purchased for cousins in the owners of the car filled the void. Noisier than the silence between these two friends.

"I'm so jealous of that girl. I don't know what their relationship is, but now I envy her." Sarah wiped her tears down slowly, "they dated longer than me, making it through the LDR to date. While I-I really feel bad. I should have understood."

The girl was immediately thrust tissue by the owner of the car. His hands refused several times until the car stopped on the side of the road. Feby was already not going to convey many calming words. Let this friend bring out all his misfortune. Maybe his long cry before Feby picked him up wasn't enough.

The body of the girl next to him trembled, a small sobbing sound involuntarily coming out of his mouth. One of his hands attempted to wipe his tears with a huff while the other clenched firmly over his thigh. Some of his clear details managed to drip to wet the tip of the shirt. The most painful sight Feby has ever seen.

Time and again this round-faced girl complained about her mistakes so that it could destroy the relationship that she craved so much. "My mistake must have been very troublesome until we parted ways. How can I destroy the relationship we've built over the years. Why am I so impatient?!"

Sadness, disappointment, anger, everything mixed into one. Beside him, Feby opened his arms wide. Sarah needs someone who can hug her to recover. She needs warmth like her favorite man gives her.

"Come here."

Sarah, still sobbing, opened her eyes, staring at Feby. His friend is ready, preparing the chest to complain all about the world. Seeing that, Sarah immediately hugged her friend, instead of stopping she just sobbed. The silence was completely filled with Sarah's delirious sobs. Makes twice as big a cut on Feby's chest.

"It's okay. It's not all your fault."

Sarah's cry became more and more, accompanied by a rough shrill that indicates she was very injured. In this condition, all Feby's words even make it more ripped. All the sadness that had been buried due to long distance relationship he spilled overnight.

"It's all my fault, Feb. It was my fault for demanding so much from him. It's all my fault" Sarah was full of regrets.