Beautiful Monster
Childish

"If we're afraid, can't we go back to the past? When I can really see you around me."

The faces of the two were very close. The distance Ignacia makes provokes Rajendra's desire to stay. Even what Ignacia had just done to her lips made Rajendra feel a sweet little electric shock.

"I'm sorry. But as you know, it's for my future. I don't want to miss it."

"Although it will be like this again?" Ignacia settled Rajendra who nodded small. Still in an ambiguous position, Ignacia smiled at the corner of her lips. "I should have known if we were too valuable to be real." He stayed away, sat right and looked back at the city.

"What do you mean?" Confused Rajendra.

"I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable on my stage, Rajendra. Therefore I do not want to be involved in anything in High School so that there is no problem. I also want to enjoy my school day without any extracurricular distractions. But I'm the one left behind."

Ignacia knew that her words just now could offend Rajendra. But how long can he endure the uncomfortable feeling of abandonment every time the man leaves? Ignacia was fed up of being left behind constantly. Already with her parents who go to work at night, then Rajendra?

"So should we be honest with each other today?" hail Rajendra with a small smirk at the corner of the lip, "sorry if you feel uncomfortable, Ignacia. But I wanted to be more experienced when I was in High School. I want to try things I've never done."

"I see," cold Ignacia.

Rajendra chuckles in annoyance. "If this is the plot, there's something I want to tell you, too, Ignacia. I hate your attitude of rejecting my existence every time I meet at school."

Ignacia turned her head, why the sudden turn to the topic?

"You seemed reluctant when I approached you at school. Are you ashamed to date me? For the past four years, you've always tried not to be seen with me. What's wrong? We also have been dating secretly. Why are you covering up our relationship when so many already know?"

Ignacia wanted to touch Rajendra's hand, but quickly the man pulled his hand. Perhaps already upset because of the ravings of Ignacia earlier. The rant goes that she chose not to attend school because of her guilt.

Ignacia should have stayed silent.

The girl breathed a long breath.

"If I explain, you won't understand. Because I was confused as to why I always wanted to keep you for myself. This is my first relationship, Rajendra. I haven't learned much about romantic relationships."

"Am I a disgrace to you, Ignacia?" Rajendra pinched his eyes, "was I embarrassing for you?"

"Rajendra!" Ignacia's angry. Why does Rajendra have to say things that make him look bad?

Don't they both seem excessive? Both of them were simply upset and unintentionally revealed it. Rajendra is upset about alluding Ignacia to the future. Meanwhile, Ignacia is upset that she will be left behind again. It looks like this was not as long as before.

"You know," Ignacia set her tone, "you seem more radiant without me. Do you remember the inauguration of the MPK chairman? I saw you really shining up ahead. Then when you were the organizer in the hall, you looked very handsome and shining."

"You are very different when you are with me. I am not talented in anything. Different you. I was afraid -" tears came out from one side of Ignacia's eyes, "I'm afraid to walk next to a shining person. I'm afraid I'm invisible."

"Why are you crying now?!" Kesal Rajendra's.

"I want to keep you to myself. Why should I share with others about our relationship? I don't like it when people look at me. I don't want to remember being abandoned when everyone knows about my relationship with someone!"

"You're comparing me to your ex?"

"Rajendra," Ignacia seemed to plead. The girl got up, already unwilling to engage in this unhealthy talk. "I want to go home. I'mtired. I'm going home alone, so no-"

"I'm sorry," Rajendra hugged her tightly, "all this time I was just worried if you stopped liking me because I was always not around. So I tried to get close to you when I had time without knowing how you felt. Sorry, I can't understand how you feel."

"Sorry I'm childish tonight, Ignacia."

His face was drowned in the neck of Ignacia. "I'm so sorry. Sorry for making you cry. I'll take you home, but stop crying. I'm guilty, I'm sorry for you. Please forgive me."

Ignacia did not return Rajendra's embrace. His two eyes were already heated up, unable to withstand the emotional outburst that occurred due to the unclear quarrel tonight. What did they just do? They quarreled just because of a small complaint? The two have been together for four years.

Ignacia is not sobbing. He held his so tightly that no one could hear him.

"It must have been hard because it held everything back, Ignacia. I'm sorry I've been unfair to you." Rajendra moves to provide emotional support through a gentle rub on the girl's back. Wishing her emotions were quickly forgotten by Ignacia.

"I want to go home" Ignacia said with a trembling tone.

"I'm sorry, Ignacia," Rajendra tightened his arms, holding Ignacia back who wanted to put an end to the two, "every day I want to say about my daily life. But I was afraid to see your reaction when I found out I was leaving. You don't like it."

"Rajendra, I want to go home" Ignacia repeated.

"Other times let's be more open about each other's feelings, Ignacia. Just tell me all your complaints. It's not just Nesya you can talk to."

Ignacia surrender. Rajendra if you have used a low voice becomes softer. Ignacia's defenses are down. Slowly return Rajendra's warm embrace. His face became wetter but remained soundless.

"I'm sorry, Ignacia. For the past week, I've been confusing you."

...*****...

Arriving at home, Ignacia went straight into the room without caring about the question of the mother who was worried to see her first child crying. Mama Ignacia followed at the door. Can't get in, the door's locked from the inside.

The girl sat on the side of the bed. Hugging your knees without crying. His emotions are unbearable. All that exists now is a feeling of guilt. He has just made Rajendra regretful in the midst of a struggle for the future.

"Ignacia, are you okay? What's the matter? Why are you crying?" Ignacia was hunted questions by her mother from outside the room.

Faintly Ignacia could hear the sound of someone else's footsteps behind the door. Her father asked her what was going on, who was crying. His wife was confused as to what to answer. After the two left, Athira changed who came. Knocking and calling out her brother's name.

"What's going on? Brother can talk to me. Does Nesya know anything about this?"

Ignacia did not answer. She is ashamed of herself for complaining to Rajendra. Wrong for not being impatient.

"Sister, open the door. Sister Ignacia."

"Go, what's the point of you here? I don't plan to end my life." Ignacia whispered. Still let his family wonder. "I have to look at Rajendra's efforts in the future. There's no way I'm gonna give up."

After a while, Ignacia improved her sitting position. Look at the dark wall. The lights of his room did not turn on. Left lights from outside that illuminate some corners of the room through windows whose curtains have not been closed.

"I was so childish. Just like crying. Rajendra did not cry." He rubbed his cheeks with tears that had dried up since. Slowly he got up, going to the bathroom to wash his face. After crying, Ignacia had to remove the marks.

Bizarrely.

When the door opened, the whole house went dark. Only the porch lights are on. Ignacia runs looking for a light switch, trying to turn on the living room lights. Not yet found the switch, it feels Ignacia kicked a pack.

He immediately turned on the lamp, quickly saw what he kicked earlier. Ignacia crouched down, trying to see what was inside.

A white package. Plastic bags typical minimarket. It contained some of Ignacia's favorite Fitbars. With different taste and lots of numbers. What the hell is going on? Ignacia did not remember ordering Fitbar from her mother.

Oh there's a note here.

..."Sis, me and mama bought a lot of Fitbar so that brother is not sad anymore. We don't know what's going on, but Rajendra said that he was sad. I don't want to interfere in your relationships. But if I want to tell you a story, I'll hear it."...

^^^Athira^^^

Ignacia smiled faintly. He appreciated the goodwill of his mother and sister. But Ignacia shouldn't appear strange in front of her family. Rajendra may be worried, so tell Mama and her sister. If you're worried, why didn't Rajendra send a message to Ignacia after that little fight?

...*****...

Ignacia wakes up before sunrise. I don't know why his eyes suddenly opened and didn't want to close again. He decided to leave the house. Sitting in the courtyard while looking at the sunlight that slowly came greeting.

Feels warm.

The girl sat on the terrace, closing her eyes slowly as if she was going to go back to sleep so comfortable that morning air. Is it because Ignacia felt so bad last night? The universe is showing a better world after having trouble with her lover last night.

"Ignacia!" A call came from the direction of the fence. Ignacia's life had not come entirely, so it took a process to realize the whereabouts of Nesya who waved at him.

"What are you doing here?!" Ignacia hastily opened the fence. Find Nesya already beautiful wearing training pants and Hoodie in gray. Her hair was tied up well, not forgetting to wear glasses as well.

"I came to take you to morning sports. I've sent you a message, but no response."

Yes how would there be a response? Ignacia just left her phone on the nightstand with no intention of charging it. Airplane mode is also used so that there is no interference from the outside.

"Let's get some sports in the square. If you haven't had breakfast, we'll have breakfast there. Rarely can we exercise together." To be honest this will be the first time the two are exercising. The distance of the two houses that are quite far does not allow to meet often.

Ignacia could not resist. Poor Nesya who has come all the way here. The sun just came out. Not too hot. Even the atmosphere became more friendly now.

Ignacia went inside, taking Nesya with her as well. Begged to wait while Ignacia gets ready. Bathing, combing hair, tidying the face that had messed up as well. It didn't take long, about twenty minutes. Nesya waited patiently.

"Sir Nesya?" Confused Athira is going to the living room. In his hand was a glass of cold water filled with lemon slices. "Why can Nesya be here so early in the morning? Brother has an appointment with my brother this early?" Athira takes a seat on the single sofa, drinking slowly.

"I think I should take Ignacia away in the morning. When the world was not too hot for him. Thanks for calling me last night." Both whisper. Keep secrets until the picked up is done.

"Tell mommy I'll have breakfast outside." Ignacia carried a small bag, stuffed the power bank and her phone inside. Actually, he didn't want to bring a cell phone. Just in case your mother calls. Ignacia did not want to trouble Nesya.

"certain. You can come back anytime. Mama and I plan to change the back garden."

"Then I'd better not come back soon" joked Ignacia and then parted ways with Nesya.

...*****...

Crowded square.

The food around is also crowded. Ignacia and Nesya ran around the square for a bit while looking at the not so crowded dining area. The two do not talk much. Saving energy to keep running.

"We stopped for a second?" Ask Nesya. The girl took off her glasses and cleaned them with the end of the Hoodie. Breath snuffling. "Let's sit down for a while. Have you decided what you want to eat, Ignacia?"

There was an empty park bench. Both of them sat there straightening their legs. "I want to eat everything. Baffled. What about you, Nesya? What do you want to eat this morning? Everything looks good."

"I want to eat chicken."

"We're going to eat now?"

Nesya. Still feeling exhausted.

Ignacia leaned against the back of the chair, staring at the fully lit sky. The busy staring at the sky made him not realize the spirit of Nesya who was secretly checking his phone. A few minutes later, another surprise came.

"You exhausted?" someone handed two bottles of water to Ignacia and Nesya, "it just so happens that we can meet here. With complete formation instead." That's Rananta, still offering the bottle. All of Ignacia's close friends came.

"How did you guys come here? You guys exercise here too? Today then? You guys planned all this?" Ignacia was not someone who easily believed in this kind of coincidence.

Now they are all in a place to eat. Occupy one long table. It just so happens that everything has not had breakfast. They look at each other, not knowing whether to expose secrets or stay in lies.

"You feel uncomfortable?" Utari spoke up.

"No, I'm glad you're all here. But why are you guys suddenly planning this? Today is not my birthday. It is also not the day of our friends or the anniversary of our friendship. Why are you planning this kind of thing?"

"Surprises only come on birthdays? We were free to surprise each other" he interjected, "after all, today was great. We want to spend some time outside together."

"But you guys didn't invite me," Ignacia was a bit disappointed.

"That's my job," Nesya said, "you're the main character, Ignacia. So we planned this without you and my job is to bring you here. Sorry I didn't explain."

"Ignacia, we want to show you that we are here to give you the support you want. Togetherness, security, and not loneliness" Indri gave a reassuring look, we want you to know that you're never alone."

Now Ignacia turned to her friends, throwing a small smile.