Giving Birth to My Brother
35. Dealing with Elin

"Later I will eat, Mas. I don't want to eat alone" Sinta said when the two of them had just finished their Maghrib prayers.

"Yes, I'm anther of Elin's dinner first."

Ariel immediately went to the kitchen, he warmed the oxtail soup and prepared rice on a plate. He took the tray of food upstairs and knocked on the door of Elin's room. He opened it when Elin did not respond from the inside.

"Elin!" call Ariel when she doesn't see Elin in the room. He placed the tray filled with food on the nightstand and piled several dishes containing the rest of Elin's food last afternoon. 'Elin must have eaten a little.'

Suddenly, Ariel heard a strange noise from the toilet. He immediately knocked there. "Els? You're in dalem?" ask Ariel. Careful, he opened the door. He was surprised to see Elin vomiting on the toilet. "Jeez, aren't you papa?"

Elin shook her head slowly. He sobbed while pulling the toilet lever. Drowning he sat on the floor. Ariel immediately embraced and helped her stand up.

"I'm so dizzy" muttered Elin.

"Wash your face first" said Ariel. He helped Elin wash her face in the sink. He picked up a dry towel to wipe and then swept it into the room. "You keep vomiting like that?"

Elin just shrugged her shoulders. He often vomits. Today it felt really bad, probably because he was rained this morning.

"I bought you oxtail soup" Ariel said, helping Elin sit down. He covers Elin's legs with a blanket and tidies the cardigan lining Elin's nightgown. "You're carefree? A fever?"

"No, but it was cold" replied Elin. He smelled the fresh scent of oxtail soup he had wanted since. "I want to eat. You want me to eat no?"

"Yes, I'm temenin." Ariel started to set the table. He put a bowl of soup and rice on the small table. "Let me take a bribe. Yesterday you ate it just as I was bribing. No vomiting, right?"

"No. I was just relieved to eat if bribed by Brother," replied Elin.

Ariel starts scooping soup sauce, he lets Elin taste first. When Elin smiled while nodding happily, she felt relieved. Seeing Elin vomit like that made her feel unbearable.

"Well, you can finish it if you like," said Ariel who had fed Elin until half left. In front of him Elin seemed happy to be able to enjoy the food.

"I would have loved as a child if I was sick like Gladis together," Elin said, recalling the past. "Mama's been busy with Gladis. He's spoiled more when he's sick. So, I want a big brother who always bribes me to eat like a gini."

"Oh, so you miss the old one, so you just want to eat if bribed me?" ariel asked with a smile.

"Maybe. I miss sometimes we all get together" Elin said. He felt his stomach feel more comfortable now. "But right now, I don't think we can get together yet."

"Ehm, next year hopefully we can get together with Mama and Papa as well. Gladis too," said Ariel. He prepared another tablespoon of food into Elin's mouth and rubbed Elin's wet lips with a tissue.

"Ult ... Big brother dear to me," muttered Elin with a mouth full of food.

Ariel put down her spoon. Well, since he knew Elin was not the biological child in their family, he felt Elin should be given more affection. As both of their parents were more attentive to Gladis since the child was born, Ariel became more protective and affectionate towards Elin.

"Do you think I don't love you now?" ask Ariel. He brought a glass of water to Elin.

"I don't know," Elin replied after they both fell silent. Only the clanking of spoons and bowls was heard for a few moments before. "Perhaps because Brother already has his own family, Brother becomes more focused on the family. I'm an adult too, I'm working, so .. We both don't have time to show affection."

"Ehm, you're always busy working outside. Even when you go to college, you're rarely home" Ariel said.

'I rarely go home because I don't like to squirm Big Brother with other girls, let alone finally get married, ' Inner Elin.

"We just stayed together after Galang's office moved here right," continued Ariel.

Elin nodded. Perhaps, if he did not move to this city and lived in their parents' mansion, he would not have an accident with Sinta, nor would he be married to Ariel even pregnant with her child.

"Actually .. I still love you," said Ariel. He looked into Elin's eyes. "We're still family, right?"

"I always thought, Brother hated me after the accident. I ... I really lost Brother for months. I want to get out of here, but I can't go" Elin said with teary eyes. 'I'm not far from my brother. I've always wanted to see Brother.'

Ariel stirred up the rest of Elin's soup restlessly. He never intended to hate Elin, he was only very angry because of the loss he felt. Every time she saw Elin, she still remembered her dead baby. He can't forget it. Ariel was so angry that she felt more relieved if she took all that out on Elin.

Of course it was wrong, Ariel herself was aware, but it was too late to regret everything. She had already blamed Elin, even demanding Elin to change her baby who had left. And now, he was caught up in an unwelcome feeling. He wanted to see Elin as he used to be, as the little sister he loved.

Now, however, Elin kept something precious in her body, her seed that had grown. And this time, he didn't want to lose any more. He has to look after the baby, which means he also has to take care of Elin so that she is okay. He could no longer look at Elin as his sister if it continued like this.

"I have something for you" Ariel said, reaching into something from her pocket. "So I stopped by to buy it for you."

"What's this?" elin asked, looking at the tiny thing in his hand.

"Voice recorder" replied Ariel.

"Yes, I know. But what's this for?" tanyanya's confused.

"Your dreams must be cut off now" Ariel said. "I know you're sad because you have to stop working. You have a lot of bright ideas and dreams, so I hope you can accommodate your ideas with a recording. You still like to snorekam? You might get tired and dizzy in front of the laptop, so I think it's more efficient."

Elin laughed a little. He did not consider this because he always recorded something with his cell phone. However, since this was a gift from Ariel, of course he liked it very much.

"Thank you. I'm going to wear this" Elin said.

Ariel nodded slowly. "Later, after you give birth and you are ready to go back to chasing your dreams, I promise, I will support you. I'll help you."

Elin's tears were now dripping without hesitation. It was a hard day for him. He may regret it for days, but he has no choice. "I am very sad. My script ... almost went into production. But .. but I can't."

Ariel put away the small table in front of Elin. Gently, he hugged Elin's body. Guilt filled his heart instantly upon hearing Elin's blunt words.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Ariel said, tightening her arms.