Giving Birth to My Brother
45. Elin's Love is Bigger

"It's because my love is forbidden" replied Elin. He sprinkled the cheese grater painstakingly on the cake. "I'm just an adopted son in Ariel's family. I would definitely be considered a ungrateful child if I dared to love Brother Ariel."

Sinta looked at Elin bitterly. That's right, he already felt how cold the Ariel family was. He came from a poor family who lived in the village, he was not at all appreciated in the Ariel family. Luckily, he does not live with them because Ariel already has her own house.

"So you're going to hide your feelings forever?" ask Sinta again.

Elin nodded. "If you can. Gladis already knows, he's keeping my diary. The book was lost ... it was taken by Gladis." Elin turned to Sinta who was looking at her concernedly. "Bak won't tell my sister, will he?"

"No" replied Sinta. He pretended to check the cake in the baking sheet. "I'm actually afraid Mas Ariel's feelings will change if she knows you love her."

Elin shook her head slowly. "No, Ma'am. Ariel loves you very much. Brother Ariel just took me as a sister. He'd probably stay away from me if he knew I had more feelings. So, I don't want him to know."

"Why don't you try to love another man?" ask Sinta.

Elin laughed a little. He tried, many times, of course. "I can't, Ma'am. Every time I go out, I just hurt the heart of the guy I've made my girlfriend. I also want to be able to forget Ariel and love others, but in fact my heart until now only thumped for Ariel."

Sinta took a deep breath. He did not like this fact very much, but he also felt sorry for Elin. If he becomes Elin, he doesn't know what he's going to do, can he love someone without being able to have?

"So, all this time you must often feel jealous with Mas Ariel, with us," guessed Sinta. He remembered that every morning, Elin would rush to leave and not eat breakfast. Is that because he's avoiding Ariel?

Elin just smiled bitterly. "Honestly, I'm jealous. Brother Ariel loves you very much, Ma'am. I ... feel the most devastated after our first accident. Ariel hated me. He's guilty of me, he's asking me to take responsibility. But he never talked to me for months. I can still see you two together, my heart hurts, but I'm fine. But, if he doesn't think I exist and hate me, I can't."

"So, you're against the deal because ...."

"I don't want Ariel to continue to be angry and hate me. Ariel's sister will forgive me if I can give her a baby. I just want Ariel's sister to forgive me" said Elin.

"But you are holding back your feelings," said Sinta in shock. "You're hurt because marriage is just a. .. it's just a contract marriage."

"I'm not papa" said Elin weakly. "I do this to make Brother Ariel happy. She'll forgive me and she'll have another baby. He will also be happy if you want to be happy, Ma'am. He's doing this for you, ma'am. And I'm doing this for Ariel's sake. I just want Ariel to be happy. I won't destroy your household, Ma'am calm down."

Sinta has heard that the highest level of a person's love is when we give up someone for their happiness. Is that what Elin is doing? Elin willingly sacrificed her body and feelings for Ariel. As for him, what could he give Ariel? Could he, if he was in Elin's position?

"You love Ariel so much, apparently" Sinta murmured.

They were silent for a while until disturbed by the sound of the oven indicating that Sinta's cake was ripe. Sinta opened it, he took the pan and put it in another pan. Patiently, he moved the cake to another container to cool quickly.

"No. Just like I feel my love is off limits, I am sure Ariel will feel that way too. After all, Ariel's sister is just in love with you, Ma'am." Elin tried to smile even though her lips felt so stiff. "Sister Ariel just took me as a sister."

"But now, I feel so bad in front of you. I hurt you" said Sinta.

Elin smiled faintly. "So I'm sorry, so that's enough. I just want us to get along again, like before."

Sinta smiled and nodded. He became convinced that Elin would not take Ariel from him. Elin even just wanted to see Ariel happy. Elin will be gone after giving birth, so it's no big deal if she has to get along with Elin for a few months. Even if he doesn't like Elin anymore, he can pretend to be good with Elin in front of Ariel.

"Where are you going after this?" ask Sinta. "You really want to go?"

"Yes. I don't know yet. Maybe, to go abroad or a faraway place" replied Elin. He shifted the baking sheet he had worked on and took out another baking sheet and began to polish with the yolk.

"You still have 7 months to go through this marriage. What if I'd just enjoyed your role as Mas Ariel's wife?" sinta asked with the intention of testing Elin.

"What?" Elin looked at Sinta in disbelief.

"You promised to leave after giving birth, you .. After all you are also Mas Ariel's wife. You can get your rights as Mas Ariel's wife if you want," Sinta said in a bitter tone. Of course, he actually did not want to share a husband with Elin.

"Why did you say that?" elin asked nervously.

"You love Mas Ariel, you must miss the presence of Mas Ariel right?" ask Sinta.

Elin gaped at Sinta's question. He wanted to nod because that was what he was feeling right now. Not only does he miss Ariel, he really craves her.

"I don't want to break that deal, Ma'am. Besides, not necessarily Ariel sister wants to. He just took me as his foster sister. He also just ... care about the baby in my womb," said Elin who remembered the chat Ariel and Sinta. "On the outside it's for the sake of getting this baby."

"But if he wants you ...."

Elin shook her head. "No. If I were the same brother Ariel ngelakuin further away, I would be harder to go later. So, let's just like this. As long as Sinta's sister Ariel doesn't hate me, that's enough."

Sinta smiled obliquely. "Okay, I hold your word. If Ariel asks for your rights, you'll refuse, right?"

"That's not going to happen" Elin said. "Don't be calm."