I Don'T Want To Be Cinderella #1
71. I love you, I’m sorry

I love you, I’m sorry

Kirana steady sharp Andi santoso who has not recovered from the reality he found.

“What such a dislike my father to us, even my mother who has been pregnant for nine months, and fighting life gave birth to her daughter, now her name is not printed on the birth certificate changed to another female name.”

Kirana was silent for a moment, while Andi Santoso was still speechless.

“My mother has no right to receive such treatment. My mother was a great woman who raised both of us so lovingly that we grew up independent and respectful of others. Unlike my sister who grew up to be spoiled and selfish because too spoiled by material.”

“What would have occurred to my father if he separated his children from childhood and raised one of them with all his lies, when they grow up they will become strangers who do not know each other maybe even hurt each other, without knowing that they are siblings.” Kirana fell silent, the image of her mother lying limp with the infusion in her hand and the sewing wound on her head made her heart ache.

“Or worse ... he hurt his own mother without realizing that the woman was the woman who had conceived and given birth to him.”

Kirana looked at Andi Santoso who was now as pale as a corpse, her eyes looked at Kirana nanar, thousands of regrets, and longings emanated clearly there.

“What is this that dad wants? Makes me and Bi into strangers who hurt each other, but in the end ... again mamah who was injured for protecting me.”

Kirana's voice trembled slightly, her eyes staring at Andi Santoso with a look of injured eyes. She no longer hid her identity as Kirana Az Zahra.

“Nana ..”

Kirana snorted with a grim laugh, her eyes started to tear up. 20 years ago how much she missed that call. But now how sad he must hear that now when they are involved in a case involving his sister and mother.

“Nana recognize dad?” Andi Santoso again asked in a trembling voice making Kirana's tears could not be dammed anymore.

“How could Nana not recognize father. During this time Nana always waited for the arrival of the father, hoping that the father would return home together with Bi, but as long as Nana waited ..” Kirana shook her head, her tears continued to flow. “Dad never came.” Kirana wiped away the tears that flowed.

“What exactly is wrong Nana, Dad? Why haven't you been looking for Nana? I love Nana.”

“No-no! I do not blame Nana, dear father .. very dear to Nana.”

“Thus why don't you look for Nana!?” Kirana shrieked with tears growing outward. “Even if you never look for Nana. And now Nana's looking for a father, not a father looking for Nana.”

Andi Santoso's heart felt pain hearing Kirana's words, thousands of regrets back in his heart made him feel tight, even now his eyes have reddened to hold back crying.

“Did you forget to have another daughter besides Bi?”

“No, there's no way I forgot Nana!”

Kiran snorted laughing with tears constantly flowing, feeling funny but also sad to hear his father's words.

“Daddy did not forget the same Nana, dad loved Nana very much, but dad never look for Nana ... isn't that very funny?”

Andi Santoso was silent at the cynical question of his eldest daughter trying to wipe away her tears.

“Where was dad when Nana needed a father figure all this time? Where's the father when people bother Nana and Oka, and we need a protector? Where was the father when Nana was sick and called the father for missing him so much? Where, Dad, where?”

Kirana looked at Andi Santoso nanar, her tears back wetting her cheeks. Andi Santoso was just silent to let his daughter let out all her pent-up anger. Her heart was completely crushed hearing how Kirana had waited and missed him all this time, making her regret even more mountainous.

“Asoka Danubrata.”

Andi Santosa's heart stopped beating for a while, her eyes stared at Kirana unblinkingly hearing a name that felt unfamiliar but made her heart feel something that could not be expressed.

Although faint but Kirana's lips slightly formed a smile between her tears when talking about Oka.

“But Oka is a great son and sister .. he will stand at the very front to defend me and Mamah even though he himself trembles in fear, every night he would wait for my return in front of the compound despite the cold and mosquitoes swarming, when it rained he would paddle me even though his own body was wet with rain water. He was the one who replaced the task of father all this time.”

“But sometimes he will look at the envy of his friends who take pictures with his complete family, he said, he would look sad every time he won a match and could not show it off to a father figure who would hug and pat him on the shoulder while saying proudly, ‘son of a great father, proud father to you!’.”

Andi Santoso could no longer hide his regret, his eyes looking teary looking at Kirana who was looking at him sharply.

“Dan mamah .. what exactly is the same mama mama mama? Has your mother committed such a sin that you hate her so much?”

“No, your mother did nothing wrong.”

“So why did dad leave her?” Kirana asked in a voice full of disappointment to make Andi Santoso again speechless.

“Mamah had to go through her pregnancy alone in the country of people without hearing a single word from the father, mamah had to feel the pain of giving birth alone without getting support from her husband, she said, mamah had to bone alone to raise her sons. Not enough to get there, the name mamah was even removed from the deed of his daughter that he had given birth to by fighting life, until you can do that to a woman whose notabanenya is the wife and daughter-in-law of the H family. Dear joko?!”

Andi Santoso could only shake his head with pushy eyes looking at Kirana who still looked emotional.

“Mamah does not deserve such treatment, Well ... what is wrong mamah? Is it not enough for her to lose her husband and be separated from her daughter, to receive such treatment?”

Kirana manatap Andi Santoso.

“Did it ever occur to me when my father separated us by hiding Bi's identity something like this could have happened? We will not know each other, it will hurt each other ... or if one of us men we could have fallen in love with each other and there will be an inbreeding, did you ever think there?”

Andi Santoso's face turned even more pale hearing Kirana's true words.

“What exactly do you expect by replacing and hiding Bi's identity? Bi has the right to know about his true identity, such as mamah whose name is entitled to be written on his birth certificate,” Kirana said firmly.

“And did you know to whom Bi told me where I was until this happened?”

Andi Santoso shook his head weakly.

“Those baj*ngan who had harassed Nana a few months ago.”

Andi Santoso's eyes rounded in shock to hear his daughter was the victim of abuse.

“Iya .. they harassed Nana in public. I can imagine how badly Nana was, but I wasn't there to defend Nana's honor. And last night I could imagine how scared Nana was when she saw Nana's nightmare a few months ago standing in front of Nana with a smile that blackened the fur I had Nana standing.”

“Nana was afraid, Well, very scared," Kirana said with tears rolling. This was the first time Kirana had expressed her fear of last night. “Nana is afraid that they will return to touch Nana.” Kirana's body again shuddered at the thought of that. “But this time Nana was wrong, not Nana who was injured, but mamah.”

Andi Santoso's face is now pale hearing Kirana's words.

“At this time mamah is lying in the hospital with a stitch wound on the head for protecting Nana from assholes who are none other than friends of Nana's own biological sister.”

Kirana's tears were getting louder and louder, with a trembling voice she asked,

“What exactly is our fault, Dad? What?”

“No – no! You guys are not wrong, this is dad's fault!” Andi Santoso now hit his chest with regret. “One's dad! You guys are not wrong at all. It's because of my selfishness and my father's stubbornness. Nana is not wrong.” Andi Santoso clasped Kirana's hand tightly.

“Pardon dad, Na, forgive dad. Dad wrong!” Andi Santoso could no longer hold back his tears of regret. “Please forgive father.” Andi Santoso kissed his son's hand that was back when he saw his father crying like that.

The affection, the longing for the father figure all this time defeated the anger and disappointment that during the day Kirana. As a child where she might have the heart to see her father cry out apologizing full of such slippage, making Kirana could only cry without being able to say anything more.

*****