I Don'T Want To Be Cinderella #1
72. The Truth

The Truth (Truth)

Orgasm, pov.

“Former ego father as a man as hurt when father lost his love and had to live just by relying on your mother's salary. As a man, husband and father ... father felt failed because he could not fulfill his obligations as a backbone and as if life was just a ride from your mother.”

Dad started telling me after we both calmed down and I came back demanding an explanation from him.

“Ego and the prestige of a big father are also hurt to make the emotions of the father become unstable, that is what triggers the quarrels of the father with your mother. Your mother is not wrong, she has often succumbed but it makes the father's emotions become more and more. And finally your mother began to feel tired because she had to deal with the father's unstable emotions, and fights were inevitable. Until finally that day arrives.”

The day that my father left me with Bi.

“Daddy is already planning to go back to Indonesia, so all the documents have been prepared for the four of us, father has prepared for the four of us, but that day your mother said that she could not return to Indonesia because of a signed contract. Ego father again hurt because your mother does not want to listen to father, make father go take BI in the hope that your mother will give up and go home together.”

I looked at my father's eyes a little as if remembering that day.

“That day I contacted your mother saying that dad and Bi are going back to Indonesia and will be waiting for you at the airport. But it turns out that until your last call never came, until finally with disappointment father went along with Bi who fell asleep because tired waiting for you and your mother.”

There was disappointment from the look in his eyes as well as his voice. A little bit I understand his disappointment, but …

“Don't you tell me we can't join because we're already contracted and don't have the money to pay the cancellation fee?”

Dad nodded his head. “Yes, but I told your mother that I would try to find money to pay for the contract cancellation fee, but your mother refused. He has no debts to anyone, especially parents.”

I also understand the reason. It is conceivable ... mamah has not received the blessing of the parents of the father, and if they have to owe them can be imagined what they will insult mamah.

“Because that's why upon arrival in Indonesia I worked hard to make a lot of money in order to bring you back to Indonesia by paying the cost of cancellation of the contract to your mother's office with hard-earned money. But father's efforts did not go as expected.”

I saw father exhaling heavily, his face bowed staring at the teacup with a look of laughter.

“The first year of the fall wake up father began to romanticize the effort not even infrequently father did not go home to leave Bi with eyang and aunt Mayang. Mother connect you.”

Dad looked at me maybe trying to see my reaction when I mentioned the name of another woman besides mamah. But I don't care, all I want now is to hear the explanation.

“Daddy is too focused on business so without feeling that the initially fussy Bi is always looking for you and your mom is now getting used to Mayang being a substitute figure for your mother. At first I felt calm because Bi had gotten used to the people here as well as her new name, making my father even more crazy working. Without dad realizing slowly he no longer remembers you guys also his old name.”

I looked at father's regretful eyes, making me only able to sigh withstanding the vexation.

“Usaha whose stub father painstakingly suffered a loss ... quite large. When it was overshadowed by the faces of the two of you, I felt ashamed to return to you in such a failed state.”

“A year more dad left you without news because he was busy pioneering a business that even suffered a loss until he was wrapped up in a lot of debt, plus Bi who has forgotten you again makes me feel like a failure as a husband and father. It was in that state of disrepair and destruction that I decided to divorce your mother, because I felt unworthy of your wonderful mother, and I also don't want to drag you into the maelstrom of debt that I created myself and instead brought you into poverty.”

“Daddy turned out not to know mamah well.” I looked at him who was looking at him seriously. “Mamah will not dispute it all, he will accept father with open arms and live it together .. if father wants to come back to us.”

I saw dad nod.

“Because of your mother's kindness it's that I'm increasingly ashamed of myself. With arrogance, my father returned home to leave you in Japan in hopes of success and prove that you are capable. But in fact, the father failed, and suffered a loss, even the father had to sell the assets of his parents to pay the debts of the father. Can you imagine what your mother would be like if you knew you used your parents' assets to pay a debt because of your stupidity in doing business? He'll be devastated, and will be the gossip of the father's extended family. I don't want you to feel that, Na.”

I don't know what to comment. Re-appreciate it or get disappointed? On the one hand I can understand the reason why Dad decided to divorce with mom. His self-esteem as a husband has been destroyed by countless failures, from starting to get a PHK that makes him an unemployed whose life depends on the income of the wife, which is very expensive, leaving his wife and children to return home in the hope of success in business, but instead of failure and loss makes him no longer have face to meet his wife and child, he said, and maybe he thinks he'll protect us by letting us go.

But on the other hand, still.

“Daddy really slumped at that time, fortunately there was Bi who became the encouragement of father.”

“Anggi .. wasn't he then renamed Anggi and forgot he was Sagita Bentari?”

Dad looked at me and nodded back.

“Iya .. Anggi who is already familiar with his new name and environment ..”

“And new wife dad.”

Dad looked at me for a moment. “At that time my father was not married again. Anggi circumstances that make dad decide to marry Mayang.”

“Mayang is a friend of father when school, our house was close together. She is a good woman and very fond of Anggi .. when first came here Anggi lost the figure of a mother. But finally he found a mother figure in Mayang who every day always spend time with him, meet his needs, and more and more Anggi days more dependent on Mayang and do not want to be released.”

He took a deep breath before continuing his story.

“At that time I was trying to get back up from the slump due to failure and divorce with your mother. On the other hand dad also needs someone who can really love Anggi unconditionally like a mother .. and Mayang is the answer.”

I started to understand why my father got married again, but I still felt disappointed in him.

“And after marriage father changed birth deed Bi to Anggi. Not only the name, but the date of birth and also the name of his birth mother,”, I said full of disappointment.

Dad looked at me speechless for a while, before he went back to explaining almost all my questions all along.

“After marriage dad refocused on business until dad is rarely at home, all the affairs about the house dad left to Mayang. That's when my parents made a birth certificate for Bi with her new name without my father's knowledge.”

“How could dad not know about that? Dad is his parents.”

“Dad was out of town when Mayang told dad about your request to make a birth certificate under the name Anggi Santoso. Not once did I think that your mother's name would be changed to Mayang. Youangmu reasoned to make the deed required marriage book and he used the marriage book of father and Mayang as a complementary document.”

“Why is dad quiet? why don't you protest?”

“Of course I was angry at that time, no matter how your mother was the woman you loved and the mother of your children, there is no way you could just shut yourself up to see that. But all that has happened, there is nothing else you can do because the deed has been used to meet the school entry requirements. Father has promised himself, someday Anggi should know about everything.”

“And one day when? It's too late now. We almost hurt each other just because of a man, and that's just because dad hid about me and mom from Bi.”

Father went back into silence, several times he sighed between his silence.

“Mayang .. she cannot have offspring.” I was a little surprised to hear Dad. “After several years of marriage we have not been given a child, had Mayang pregnant but nervous to be on curettage.” Dad was silent he came back to look a few times sighing long. “After the incident Mayang several miscarriages, until finally the doctor said that Mayang suffered from Asherman sinderom or uterine adhesions that make it difficult to have children.”

Silence ... I was silent to my father's explanation. I remembered the figure of aunty Mayang who looked elegant with an elegant appearance, not the slightest look he suffered from a rare disease that seemed to be a scourge for women.

“After Anggi matures, several times I intend to tell about you guys, but Mayang always begs to delay. He was afraid ... afraid that Anggi would leave him, because for Mayang, Anggi is his world, his only daughter who he grew up as a child.”

I was increasingly silent ... as a woman I deeply understand the condition of Aunt Mayang, and could feel her fear of being left behind by the only ‘anak’ that she belongs to and she loves. But …

“Nana understands the feelings of father and wife father, but Bi deserves to know the truth as well as mamah.” Dad was silent then nodded. “But now dad is too late .. Bi already remembers Nana and Mamah, also his little name used to be.”

Dad looked away surprised eyes.

“The numbers remember it?”

“Iya .. but the memory came too late. Nana, Oka and mama are already injured, as well as she who now has to accept the consequences by being interrogated by the police for hours .. It's too late, Yah.”

Dad was silent, looking tired and full of regrets.

“Nana .. want to ask one more question that has always stuck in the heart of Nana.” Dad looked at me and then nodded. “Why haven't you ever looked for Nana?”

He was silent for a moment before answering my question.

“Dad was told that my father started a new business after moving to Surabaya. It turns out that business is not as easy as you imagine, let alone start from scratch. The early years of my father experienced many obstacles, so I really only focused on how to survive in the business world. That is also one of the reasons why the father always grants whatever Anggi wishes, because the guilt can not accompany him grow, because the guilt can not accompany him grow, and also because of the guilt of you that makes father pamper Anggi hope that father can make amends to you by pampering and granting whatever he wants.”

Father was silent for a moment, his eyes looked bright. He sighed before continuing his words.

“More or less in the seventh year, the father's capital began to return and get a little profit. That's when I was determined to find you.”

My heart trembled a little and my father was looking for me.

“Dad knows you're no longer in Japan, and the only place you know to look for you is your grandfather's house in Bekasi. Although knowing your grandfather was very angry and disappointed in father, but that day the father was determined to come and ready to accept his anger ..” father sighed looking sad for a moment. “But father is late, your grandfather is dead and the house in Bekasi has been sold. I lost track of you and didn't know where to look until finally one of my grandparents' neighbors told me you were back in Japan, he also showed me a picture of you with a little boy playing with his son, which is when I thought your mother had remarried in Japan and you lived there.”

My heart paled hearing father's explanation. On the one hand I am happy because my father is looking for my existence, but on the other hand .. may I still be a little disappointed in my father for thinking like that without first finding the truth?

*****

Note:

Asherman syndrome is a condition in which there is a scar tissue in the uterus that can damage the endometrium or uterine wall and can cause repeated miscarriages even before knowing you are pregnant. Asherman syndrome, also known as uterine adhesions, is a rare disease.