I Found Love With You
81. Longs

Kagendra is now in her apartment unit. He was reluctant to stay at home which reminded him of the wonderful moments that were passed along with Sadiyah.

In the apartment, not many beautiful moments with Sadiyah can even be said that the apartment owned by Kagendra is a silent witness to the many mistreatments Kagendra to Sadiyah. If he is reminded of the bad events in his unit then he will stop hoping to make up with Sadiyah. But instead of forgetting Sadiyah, Kagendra even more guilty if he remembered his bad treatment of Sadiyah. This is the heaviest punishment Kagendra feels, the guilt that continues to haunt him all the time.

Kagendra entered the room and opened his desk drawer. He picked up the unused phone and started to turn it on. There is still a lot of battery power left.

Kagendra laid her body on the bed and began opening a photo gallery on her old phone. She opened a photo folder under the name My Lovely Wife.

There are many candid photos of Sadiyah taken secretly by Kagendra. Many also photos of the results of the chat when they sent each other photos of themselves. No tears fell from the corner of his net.

“Where are you now? Do you really not want to see me again? Doesn't the door open sorry for me?” ask Kagendra lirih. I don't know who asked because there was no Sadiyah in front of him.

Kagendra continued to slide the photos showing Sadiyah's own picture and also Sadiyah's photo together with her.

“Is your heart still for me or is there another man who has filled your heart?”

Kagendra is getting sobbing.

“I miss you. Are you there to miss me too? It seems impossible if you miss me. There was too much pain I was giving. I just hope when we meet, your heart is calmer and can hear my explanation.”

Kagendra began to close her eyes because of the fatigue she could no longer bear.

********

 After Isya, Sadiyah took out a photograph from her agenda book.

“Aa......now Aa what are you doing? Is Aa now living happily with Natasha? Ah, surely Aa was happy because she ended up with the woman that Aa loved.”

Sadiyah stared at the wedding photo with Kagendra that she kept in her agenda book. Tears flowed down his cheeks without his resistance. For the mini mala, Sadiyah allowed herself to cry for holding back the longing for a lover she could never have her heart.

“Now Aa has how many children? Do you still have one or more people? Aa know no? In addition to having children from Natasha, Aa also had children from Iyah. Our children are twins as expected Mother who wants to have twin grandchildren.” said Sadiyah.

Sadiyah looked at the photo of her twins she kept on her bedside.

“Daddy promises someday to take our child in front of Aa. Introducing Aras and Aris to her father. But not now because Iyah was worried that Iyah telling about Aras and Aris would ruin Aa and Natasha's happiness. If Iyah must forever not tell their existence to Aa, Iyah sincerely. Iyah can tell Aras and Aris that their father has gone far and will not return. When they grow up, Iyah believes that Aras and Aris will understand why their mother and father are not together.”

More and more tears flowed past both of his cheeks.

 “Aa.. Now Iyah's heart is still filled with Aa. Iyah's heart was still for Aa and Aa was still firmly entrenched in Iyah's heart. It's just that now it's not just Aa that's in Iyah's heart. Although Iyah was never in Aa's heart but Iyah is grateful because now there is Aras and Aris. Iyah is very sure that their hearts are filled by Iyah.” Sadiyah smiled happily when she remembered the two darlings who loved her very much. For Faras and Faris, Sadiyah became the only woman they loved.

Sadiyah clutched her wedding photo with tears that continued to pour.

“Daddy miss Aa. Iyah also still loves Aa very much. Iyah knew I should forget Aa as soon as possible. But Iyah's heart can not be invited to compromise because it is always the heart Iyah beats very fast when considering the face of Aa.”

Sadiyah was pounding her left chest which was getting tight.

“Dad doesn't know how to forget Aa. I want to forget about Aa. Iyah's brain had ordered to forget Aa but this heart always did not want to obey what was ordered by his brain Iyah. So what should I do? I miss you so much Aa. I want to see Aa again. Although only looking from afar, Iyah wants to see the figure of Aa once again.”

Sadiyah continued to cry until her chest became more tight.

Sadiyah did not answer Mak Isah's question, she continued to cry.

Mak Isah approached Sadiyah and sat on her right side.

Sadiyah again beat her left chest.

“He still hurts, Mak.”

Mak Isah hugged Sadiyah tightly trying to calm her down.

“Already, Neng. Ikhlaskan.”

Mak Isah stroked Sadiyah's back gently and slowly Sadiyah began to calm down.

“Quick wash Neng's face. Mak is worried that the twins see Neng's condition like this. Pity them if they see his mother crying like this.”

Sadiyah immediately went to the bathroom and washed her face until it looked fresher.

After finishing washing his face, Sadiyah immediately returned to her room and prepared to leave.

“Where are you going these nights, Neng?” ask Mak Isah.

“Iyah want to go again to Bandung, Mak. Tomorrow morning there is a new boutique launching event.”

“Neng opens new boutique again?”

“Iya, Mother. Now the button specifically sells Muslim clothes.” explained Sadiyah.

“Please Aras and Aris if often Neng stay.”

“It won't take long Mak. Tomorrow afternoon or evening, Iyah go home kok.”

“Ya has been careful on her journey. Especially now Neng brought his own car and it was night too. Can't we go tomorrow after dawn? Mak is worried that Neng goes alone at night. When does Jana work again?”

“Dad used to go at night, Mak. Let Jana take a vacation first. Jana is enjoying the role of being a new father. Let him accompany his newly born wife. Iyah very understand that after giving birth, women are very fragile and need protection from their partners.”

Mak Isah looked at Sadiyah with sadness because he remembered the struggle of Sadiyah in the pregnancy of her twins, giving birth, and raising her twins without the presence of a husband.

“Don't stare at Iyah like that, Mak. Iyah every condition of women after giving birth is different. Usually women who have given birth are very weak and need assistance from their partners. In the past Iyah managed to get through the difficult times because it was accompanied by Mak Isah and Atep.”

Sadiyah hugged dear Mak Isah.

*********

to be continued...