I LOVE YOU (I LOVE YOU NOT)
Forever Go I

The plane we were on just landed.  The journey back from Hong Kong to Jakarta which takes almost five hours flight was boring for me but not for Pak Beni or Vera who almost every month traveled far to several countries.

Mr. Beni gave me a chance to go back to Bandung. Because my annual leave is still a few days away.

"In-you can go back to Bandung. Solve your problems with your husband - and for your work you can submit a report by email to Me. ", said Mr. Beni when we arrived at Soekarno hatta airport. I separated myself from Mr. Beni's entourage which was already picked up by Ms. Linda and some employees. This time I use travel services for my trip to Bandung. Feeling tired and sleepy because of this business trip it does not seem to allow me to drive my car to get home.

All the way - my brain was thinking about what would happen when I got to my house. I didn't expect Edi to welcome me - even my hope that Edi and his sisters would no longer be in our house.

The trip took longer than usual - because by the end of the week the traffic flow towards the city was denser than usual. I took the time to rest along this journey so that when I later feel tired no longer.

The day was getting dark - fortunately this shuttle travel service can directly take me to the house without having to I look for a taxi or motorcycle taxi to take me back to my home. When I arrived at home heard by me the voice of some people were talking, although there was a sense of reluctance I to enter the house let alone greet the people in my house but still Me I have to do what I don't want.

"Assalamualaikum." I said after I made sure the door was not locked - I went into my house as usual and looked into the living room to make sure the voice of anyone who was talking earlier that I heard.

It turned out that Edi's parents, along with his sisters were in the room. Their faces were not happy to see me coming. The sight of Edi's father sharply looked at me. To be honest, I do not feel comfortable with their presence in this house - I am very sure they have come to judge, not to mediate our problems.  My position alone in this land - it felt unbalanced to defend myself in front of them.

"Well, it's a coincidence you came. Sit here for a second!" apih said with a rising voice. The faces of the people in the room were very unfriendly. But I'm not worried because I'm sure what I've decided and done is right.

I don't say much. I took a sitting position that was a bit far from Edi and his parents so I was not awkward when dealing with them.

"Edi has told me about the problems of the two of you to Apih." continued Apih to me.

"All right then." I said briefly

"In, you should be grateful that Edi still wants you to see your condition like this" Apih said.

"I mean What? many do not understand

"Yes. You don't give offspring to my son you don't serve him well as a wife. Is that a good wife?!" his protest with accusations that I think are baseless and contrary to reality.

"Oh, so all this time what I've done for this family doesn't mean anything to you. I think I've served Edi enough and your whole family well! Then what else do you want from me?! I turned back with a little emotion. However I dampened my Emotions it felt like the words of Apih had really offended me.

"hey, don't be rude to my parents! cecar Edi to me angry.

"Ok alright. I don't want to blame anything here. If you all think that what I've been doing so far is not good then this talk need not continue because whatever in your eyes I'm the one who deserves the blame." I said withholding emotions

"yes, you are wrong" Apih responded to my statement.

"OK. then why continue this marriage? Divorce is the right decision, right? challenge me again

Those in the room were silent to my words.

I got up from my seat and stared at the people in my room. This time I no longer care about my manners and my language to Edi's parents. I really feel used by them

"I'd better get out of this house.we'll finish everything in court after all the divorce proceedings are fulfilled" I said again

I walked to my room without caring about the people around me. I packed my things in the closet and some important documents of mine are thankfully still stored well. Without further ado, I left everyone in the house and got out of the house immediately.

Without having to wait long - a car I ordered by phone came to pick me up. Quickly - the driver helped me to raise my luggage in the car. Actually I have bought a simple house in the modern area in West Bandung without the knowledge of Edi. All thanks to the help of Mr. Beni who does not like my marriage relationship with Edi which he thinks is not healthy at all. It was that old man who encouraged me to buy a house from the income that I earned without Edi's knowledge as my investment in the future. It just so happened that the handover of the key by the developer had been handed to me a few days before my departure to Overseas.

Our car stopped at the entrance to my house. After opening the door of the house and turning on some of the room-lamps back with a swift taxi driver had dropped off and put my goods into the house. Even in conditions without occupants, this house still looks clean even though in some places it looks dusty.

I gave the taxi fare money and also two fifty thousand bills in addition to the driver. After thanking me, the taxi driver drove by.

Morning**-**It just so happens to be a holiday - I have plenty of time to furnish my home with some of the home furnishings I need right now. At least as long as I stay in Bandung - there is a comfortable place for me to rest and take shelter.

"In-all that you need is already recorded? tanya Teh Tuti's.

"It has. We buy what I really need first tea." I said later.

Teh Tuti is the wife of the RT chairman in the region where she previously lived. Her age is not much different from me - after all this woman is very good and close to me - especially her two children often I take the road by driving a car just to accompany when my mood is uncertain.

Tuti tea is very expensive places that sell the needs I need and also provide a fairly sloping price compared to other stores. Without having to take hours all the stuff I need finally got home.

"Well now you can comfortably stay in this house Di. "tuti Teh said while his hands were busy cleaning and arranging things to the place I had determined his position.

I replied with a smile - but at least tonight I can sleep on a soft mattress unlike last night I have to sleep on the floor in my backpack.

I've been living in my new home for a few days. There is no ceremony or study before occupying a new house as is often done by ordinary people who have just occupied their new home. Moreover, most of the residents in my housing are indivualists who seem not to care about the surrounding environment.

Since I have lived in this place - no one has Edi tried to contact or find my whereabouts.  But ah - I don't want to mess around with my household anymore. Let my divorce proceed until the time we meet in court.

That day - I rode my official motorcycle to monitor the implementation of irrigation facilities improvement projects located on the border of Subang and Lembang. somehow this time I could not focus on my work at all. I don't know why it suddenly crossed Edi's face in my mind. But there is no anger in me every time I remember edi - this time there is a deep sadness in my heart that somehow.

Shortly afterwards, the ringtone of my phone rang - but because I was riding my motorcycle I did not care at all about the phone call.

For the umpteenth time and the continuous call came in - I finally decided to stop by the roadside to answer the call.

"Assalamualaikum, yes hello." I said

"Vaalaikumsalam. Ma'am. Mr. Edi fainted at the gor." the voice was stammered and like a panicked person.

"Loh-Fainting why? much

"Sir Edi was playing minton (badminton) suddenly tolerate lemes trus unconscious." continued the man's voice on the phone.

:Oh where is Edi now? I'm curious

"taken to Parahyangan Hospital Bu. If I could come here." said the man again

"Okay I'll be there soon." I continued again without much question. But in my heart wondering what happened to Edi he was never in this condition at all.

I changed my goal of wanting to continue the field examination, finally the speed of my motorbike was transferred to the parahyangan hospital where Edi was treated. My motorbike speed is quite fast makes the backpack that I carry behind my back occasionally slammed hard when my motorbike drove across the path that berbobang or police sleep.

Suddenly my gaze was covered by a shadow that flashed before me as my motor was speeding. My hand hit the handbrake and also the foot brake I pressed in a sudden way. The friction of the asphalt that was still wet due to the drizzling rain this afternoon made my motor speed unbalanced.

The motor I was driving turned and slammed towards the right side of the road - so did my body get carried away by it.

I felt the hard dings of my body that slammed into the asphalt and several times the impact I felt on the head.

That afternoon in a quiet place - I had a single accident. I tried to get up from my falling position - but my left hand and foot were too heavy to move and so painful.

"To...Please.." a hoarse voice came out of my mouth asking for help. But no one was there. Even then I was unconscious because I could no longer endure the pain.