The Eternity: The Colour of Fate
Chapters 4.5

Chapter 4.5: Dreams and Emotions

I opened my eyes in surprise. While my body still continued to fall inward and deeper.

However, a hand touched my face gently.

In front of me, a black-haired woman smiled sweetly. His eyes were as red as blood, looking at me with turbulent anger.

She was so beautiful, but a moment later a creepy look came from her, clutching tightly at my face and whispering a word.

"Nonius, you know? You don't deserve Michaela at all"

I'm appalled. Suddenly a memory of that shadow faintly rotated in my head.

Ugh.

Unknowingly a name came into my head.

"Ce Cecilia?"

"No! I'm not Cecilia" The woman's shadow turns into a shadow of a man with blond hair.

"Whoever I am, you don't deserve to know, you street boy!"

Again a memory entered my mind forcefully.

"Are you? Rome?"

"Ah, brother, how can I be called Rome?"

The shadow changed again, now in front of me there was a little girl. From her two pretty eyes flowed tears nonstop. But his face just showed the opposite, he smiled viciously.

"Nonius, did you forget the sister you killed huh?" His words were near my ears while still clutching my face.

A tragic memory was back in my head. A memory of a sacrifice that was misinterpreted.

"Kinai, a me" I'm stuck.

"Enough! You really are a useless child" a dagger stuck into my stomach, the shadow had changed into the figure of a middle-aged man with red eyes.

The red blood gushed again.

Ugh..

I closed my eyes again withstanding the pain that had inflicted upon me for the umpteenth time. This time the memory turned around very quickly.

"A father, forgive me" I said as I endured the pain.

"Oh? What do you regret? Honey" said a beautiful woman with deep black hair.

Memory goes back around. "Are you?"

"Ah, have you forgotten me? You're completely useless huh, you can't even remember me at all, you do deserve to die!" He hugged my body and whispered it.

"Michaela! I'm.."

"You're really useless! Know it? Giving birth to you as my son is the greatest regret of my life, Nonius! You really don't deserve to live even since the first time I gave birth to you" said the shadow that changed back into a woman with the same navy hair as mine.

"I'm mom.." I'm lirih. The pain that kept raining down on my body prevented me from falling asleep. While the shadows of the past that I can't even remember make me worse, fall and fall deeper and deeper. They, continue to haunt me endlessly and without pause.

A feeling came from inside my heart. The true feeling of anger is overwhelming.

My heart, fucked up instantly.

For some time, I was dissolved into regret.

Until a soft voice rang in my head.

The little memories were again spinning in my mind, so far and deep.

About how my childhood was.

Also about the firm and warm voice of the father.

About the little and cute voice of the little sister I missed.

I bit my lips back. Reorganizing the determination I gathered all this time.

"I know you're here!" I said to a familiar shadow.

The shadow was as red as blood spurting from myself. He was covered in a black fog mixed with blood around him.

That hand was strangling my neck tightly.

"Ah, you are really weak, Raka" said the shadow showed his identity.

He really has the same appearance and voice as me.

I just kept quiet withstanding the pain from my body that kept sleeping leaving my still-chaotic thoughts.

Ugh.

"You just let everything you have get taken away from you. You're a fucking loser!"

"You don't even deserve to mention one by one of those who were taken from you"

"Do you think they're inanimate objects that you can easily get and give away?"

"You know? You're the lowest man I know." The shadow whisper was full of grudges and fury.

A familiar name appeared in my head. A name of a poor man who lived his life to death. Nonius was the name of the man before me - no, it was my name in the past that was full of regrets.

"Ah, me too, Nonius.. "

I said, clutching his neck.

"You're a loser who doesn't even dare to show your face to the enemy"

"You're the one who even ran with fear when faced with problems"

"Also about you blaming yourself for everything we do"

"We are regrets." Whisper to Nonius.

"You are me."

"I am you"

"None of us are winners. And none of us are losers."

"Your anger, your sadness, your happiness, is my anger, my sadness, and my happiness.. Nonius.."

My words are full of emphasis and anger.

Nonius was surprised by what he heard.

"Only we know how we feel, only we know how we suffer, only we know how we struggle, only we know how we are happy and sad.. only we know who we really are and give our best to what they take from us"

"We're not good men! None of them can take what we want, and none of them we can't take, Nonius.."

The shadow was silent. Slowly but surely, half of my body fused with that of Nonius, leaving two bodies of different colors and luster.

'Blue and red'

"I see, we are one, in any life and after all, you are me.."

"Send everything to you, no! To me and to us, whether it's Nonius or Raka, it's all of us" he said before merging.

Nonius smiled and blended into my body.

A memory melts me into a long dream, so long..