The Journey of Love Habibah..
to psychiatrists

Habibah looked at the body lying before him with a blank look. Her tears were unceasingly flowing, no sound of a word coming out of her lips. He felt that the world had stopped turning and his feet were no longer resting on earth. Everything became empty as if he was alone in this world. One by one the pilgrims came to offer their condolences and strengthen them. But all those words that were spoken, none of them were heard in his ear. To him this world was silent, even the hugs and cries of his little daughter were inaudible to him.

Habibah was completely unprepared for the great ordeal this time. The happiness he had just felt had now been replaced with a sadness he had never imagined at all. A farewell that there will be no more meeting in this world. The shock he received this time completely shattered all the cheerfulness on his face. Drown the sweet smile that has lately adorned her beautiful face. But now that beautiful face had changed like an undead, pale without any expression on her face. Slowly her tears stopped wetting her stye cheeks. Lost already the joy and sadness from his face, everything turned into an emptiness. No one expected that the happiness he had just felt would be as fast as it went and changed with grief.

"Darling... Be aware.... Let him go, God loves him more and that's why he's called home sooner. But don't let your grief ruin your life. He'll be sad if he finds out you're like this, baby... Remember there are still children who need your attention and affection. Therefore you must be strong, do not be like this.... You'd better pray for her to have the best place by God's side." Sofia's mother tries to revive her beloved daughter-in-law to come back to herself. He was deeply wounded when he learned that his son-in-law was now like an undead, though lifeless but like there was no life in his eyes. Everything is empty, making anyone who sees it will feel deep sadness. Since Purnomo's body was delivered to his family's residence, there was no moaning or lamentation from Habibah. Only her tears showed her sadness. But even though only tears had made her an undead, there was nothing she did but stare blankly straight ahead. And it's really worse than losing by death.

A week has passed, Habibah still no change. The shock of Purnomo's death completely changed him 180°. He had forgotten everything, even the children he had forgotten.

" Well, what if our sister takes us to the city for treatment or we consult ustadz, to a psychiatrist or psychologist or whatever the name is. What matters is that you can go back to what you were. Poor kids they've lost their father and now they have to lose their mother, too." Maryam proposed to her father to bring Habibah to treatment for her brother.

And finally they decided to bring Habibah to the city, hoping Habibah will be able to recover as before.

The news of Purnomo's death quickly spread, the news was finally up to the ears of Habibah's friends or Purnomo. Many of those who came on pilgrimage even though Purnomo had been buried for several days. No exception Zelly, he also came on pilgrimage and he also had seen the condition of Habibah so sad. I really want him to be able to entertain Habibah, but that is impossible for him to do.

" How is Nur's condition now, ma'am?" ask 'em, Zelly to Sumarni's mom.

" Yes... That's so... She was devastated by the sudden departure of her husband. He was completely unprepared to accept a shock of this magnitude. Maybe it was because he had just been able to be happy and now had to accept this heavy ordeal. If the normal person who is new to the household, of course this is the most beautiful time in his life. The good times are what many people call honeymoon. How not? They had only been married for a month but were now forced to part with death. He was completely unprepared for this condition." replied Sumarni's mother as she looked at Habibah who was staring out the window.

" What about the kids? How are they doing?" ask again

" Children are now in her eyes, for it is a pity for the children to see her mother's condition like this. So while they were there first until the condition of his mother improved." explained Sumarni's mother. Although he himself does not know when his son will be able to improve.

" Why not be taken to a psychiatrist, who knows he can recover with the help of an expert like a psychiatrist?"

" We have planned to bring him to the city in two days, we are still looking for which one is suitable for him later" said Sumarni again.

" If I may recommend my friend who became a psychiatrist in Samarinda, the booking I guarantee will make it comfortable and most importantly he is a Muslim as well. God willing it is better. If you agree, then I will take you there and I have business but I can go three more days. If mom and family agree later I will talk about our arrival with my friend. So that Nur there is a place later if he can get the best place, so that he can recover quickly." Zelly offered his help. He really hoped that the woman who had seized his heart could recover, although he could not get love from the woman but he wanted to be able to do something for her.

" Okay. . I'll talk to my family and also to my parents. If everyone agrees, I'll let you know again, Zelly.

" Okay, ma'am, I'll wait for news from mom.. This is my business card, if you have the decision, you can contact me immediately." Zelly gave her a business card to Sumarni's mother. After that, he resigned because it was no longer morning.

In the evening, Mr. Rukmana and Sumarni's mother visited his iron house. They discussed plans for Habibah's treatment and presented Zelly with them. And the parents of the deceased Purnomo agreed to the proposal, because they thought it was the best. Because they also wanted Habibah to recover, and Sumarni's mother immediately contacted Zelly that night, informing if the two families had agreed that Habibah would be treated following the proposal from Zelly. And Zelly also instructed what preparations should be prepared by the Habibah family before departure and what should be brought later.

Sofia's mother packed up some of her son's relics that she knew meant a lot to her son. A photo album, a box of letters and a diary belonging to Habibah was given to Sumarni's mother to be taken as well as when they were to the city later. He hopes his son's legacy can help in the recovery of his son-in-law. They could not deliver because they had to take care of their grandchildren, Zain and Nur Laily who temporarily stayed with them as long as Habibah was still in the condition it is today.

The day of departure for Samarinda finally arrived as well. Zelly brought an inventory car from the company due to her departure to the city in order of work duties, so she could bring an inventory vehicle. He deliberately did not use a private driver on the trip this time. Because he had to bring Habibah and Habibah's parents along with him. Zelly has promised to take them to their destination in the city in accordance with the agreement.

" Daughter Zelly, if you know how old she is now?" bu Sumarni asked suddenly, breaking the silence in the car.

" i... It's old enough, Mom.. Already head 4.. Why Ma?" zelly replied with a slight discomfort.

" Should Zelly have a family and a few kids? But how come you never see anything about Zelly's wife and son? Are they not here?" asked Bu Sumarni curiously.

" Emmr... Yes Ma'am, um.. It should be." Zelly replied with a hanging sentence.

" It should be? Meaning how?" continued Ms. Sumarni.

" Ehmm... Da... It should be so, ma'am, just unfortunately I have not found my soul mate. So yes wife and children have not entered in the history of the journey of my life. Hehe.." Zelly laughed with a face expression that was hard to decipher. He doesn't even know what makes him laugh, maybe he's laughing at his own fate.

" What was being talked about that day really? I thought it was a joke.. I'm sorry, I don't know." Sumarni's mother seemed to regret the question she had asked.

" It's okay, ma'am, after all it's the truth so there's nothing to cover up for." Zelly smiled bitterly.

How can I marry someone I can't love, if I insist on only hurting and torturing myself. And the worst possibility would be to hurt a lot of hearts. The heart of the woman I married and her family is also my family.

I don't want that to happen. And what I can't do is mother's son..

The woman who is now beside her mother, who is losing herself because of her loss of love.

Nur...

So great and deep is your love for your husband that it makes a woman as strong as you fall helpless before love.

I never thought I'd see your fragile side like this.

Zelly continued to drive his car at a normal speed, they would occasionally stop for a break to eat or pray at the mosque they passed.

***

Maybe that's what it feels like to be left alone again, unfortunately.😭😭