The Journey of Love Habibah..
Doubters

" Do you, can I go out today? I'm better, I just need a break and I can do it at home." Zelly sought approval from the doctors who treated her to allow her outpatient care.

" Can't yet sir, wait until your feet are better than now. Pen has just been installed on one of the father's legs, if the father comes home now and is not good in his care then it can harm the father's legs." the doctor explained.

" But I'm tired doc here..."

" Patience to Zelly, I know Zelly's bored. But it's all for Zelly's own good. I'll accompany Zelly here "sumarni's mother tried to persuade Zelly.

" lady... Please don't be too good with me, I'm afraid I won't be able to....." Zelly did not finish her sentence, she could only stare in full supplication at Sumarni's mother.

Sumarni's mother did not not not not understand, but she also could not leave Zelly alone in the hospital. After so much has been done by Zelly for Habibah.

" It's okay.. What we're doing is nothing compared to what you've done for us. This is all we can do for you" Sumarni's mother said.

That day really made Zelly frustrated with the situation he faced at this time. One side he wants to always be able to get close and see Habibah, but on the other hand he also wants to release the bond that ensnared his heart and life from Habibah. But, he was unable to do anything at the moment.

For three days Sumarni and Habibah's mother was in the hospital guarding Zelly. Day 4 Zelly insisted on asking the doctor for an outpatient, by undergoing several more examinations, finally Zelly was allowed to be outpatient. With the record must be controlled once every week, and Zelly supports it.

Arriving at Mia's house, Zelly lays her body on the bed. As Zelly was engrossed in her daydream while staring at the ceiling of her room, Mia came in with some fruits and put them on the nightstand.

" What are you thinking now? Are you still thinking about Habibah? You better not think about him, you think about yourself now. Even if you can, Jagan you think of him again Zell.." Mia really can't stand the situation of her best friend.

" My... There's really no reason for me to continue to love him, but I can't stop loving him either. I really want to stop, but my heart can't love anyone but him. I don't even know if I'm wrong with this feeling? What does it mean for God to pin this love in my heart that turns out to be just him. If all this is wrong, then why can't I ever turn my heart away from him, even though I've been hurt so many times by this feeling? Mia´s... I never felt tired or sorry for the feelings I had for her, but I was tired and sorry that my feelings had hurt so many people who loved me." Zelly vented all her heart to Mia.

" What are your plans for Zell..?" ask Mia.

" I want to go to Malaysia, I want to work there. Hopefully with me leaving this country, I can release all the bonds that have ensnared my heart and my life for so long" Zelly said.

" Okay .. If it makes you feel better, hopefully your hope will come true. Aamiin..." Mia assures Zelly's hope.

" Thank you so much Mia, maybe whatever you've done for me I'll never be able to repay you. Then I can only pray that all your dreams can be achieved, and you are always happy.". Zelly was still in her starting position, lying down while staring at the ceiling of her room.

" Yes already then, you better rest now. And don't forget the fruit is eaten huh.." Mia gets out of her seat and leaves Zelly alone.

Can I really do it?

Leave him, leave this country and forget him?

Now that I'm not young anymore, can I compete with the young guys out there?

Drrt.. Drrt.. Drrt....

Suddenly his cellphone vibrates, a name appears on the screen of his phone..

Mama..?

Doubtfully received the call..

" Assalamu'alaykum Ma." said Zelly slowly.

" Wa'alaykumussalam warrahmatullah wabarokaatuh.. Son, how are you? Why haven't you called in nearly a week? Why are you no longer, son? You're okay with the invitation?" His mother's voice was very worried on the other end of the phone.

" I'm fine Ma... Sorry Ma, I didn't call because I'm busy, I'm in service now. But a few more days are over.. Mama don't worry, I'm good for Ma ..."

" How not to worry Muhammad Zelly Nur Rahman....! You are there alone, no one takes care of you if you are sick or take care of the needs of your days. If you have a wife who can accompany you and take care of you, Mama will not be as worried as this son. Now we're the only ones you're worried about, you're not young anymore but you're still alone. What are you waiting for, son? If there is something you like, it's okay to choose him. But you must get married soon. If it is not there, let the mother who is looking for you the candidate. Nak... My mom is old, son. Mama only wishes to see you get married and have offspring before you die. Mom wants to live close to you, son. It has been years even more than ten years we have always lived far apart. Your brother and sister are all living happily with their own family. But you're still alone and out there, which mom can never know you're doing well or not. Until when do you want to make your mama continue to worry like this, son?" his mother's voice shook and held back the cries. Zelly could only be fixated on listening to all her mother's complaints about her.

" Mom... Give me a little more time to make this decision ma, I will tell my mom if I have a decision" said Zelly.

" decision? What decision, son?" asked his mother did not understand the meaning of his son's words.

" The decision about my life is ahead ma. I also want to be able to live like other people and be happy, now I'm trying to be happy with without hurting anyone." Zelly replied slowly.

" What are you talking about, son? Mama doesn't know what you're talking about. Are you having a problem now?" ask mother.

" No, no problem. I just felt like I hurt a lot of people, including my mom. And I want my decision not to hurt anyone again. Yes ma, then I close first huh. I still have to work." Zelly tried to end the conversation with her mother.

" Yes already then, you're fine there. And don't forget to call mom, don't make me worry like I am now. Assalamu'alaykum." his mother ended her call first.

" Wa'alaykumussalam warrahmatullah wabarokaatuh.." Zelly answered her mother's greeting by looking at the cellphone in her hand.

Now how should I? If I go abroad, what about my mom? Should I just go home and open a business there? Ahhhh... What should I choose, going abroad or going home?

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