Crazy Love of the Actor
Section 14: Pain

"If Syila really doesn't think this is the right way, then why must she survive?"

"Because Papi, he wants Syila to be a doctor."

"What would he be himself?" Doctor Kevin asked.

"Syila wants to be Doc's writer."

"You sure you can?"

"Very sure, because I have a career in the world of authorship today, even though using a pen name, papi does not know I have published books and best sellers several times. "

"That means nothing can hold you back, it should, Shil. Step high, don't let your papa grab your wings."

Syila recalled what Dr. Kevin had said a few years ago.

The speech was finally able to make Syila stand tall with the next great works.

Although Syila's writing career had been brilliant long before that.

The words of Doctor Kevin finally made Syila aware to only focus on authorship.

Doctor Kevin is the only one who makes Syila know what it's like to be accepted for what it is.

Unlike Juna who is just because he likes Syila so much, it is true or wrong Syila is not really his concern. His view cannot be objective.

"Cil, ah, don't pout mute." Andi is upset with Juna for making her cousin become more badmood.

"Gue equals Izraa nothing, you know that right?! I don't have any feelings for Izraa! yesterday Izraa just helped me, I'm very grateful for that."

"Cil, I know you, I know you don't have anything to do with Izraa, but what the Doctor thinks is not the part that you should be dizzy about, his view of you is not something that should be your focus, just like Izraa and you who have nothing, between you and Doctor Kevin there is nothing else."

"If the woman does not exist ...."

"But that woman exists!!!" Andi pulled the car over to talk to Syila, "and she'd rather be that woman than you! understand!!!"

painful words but Andi had to resuscitate this little Princess.

"He was forced, the woman was too weak to be left behind."

"So you're that strong until you're abandoned and you're still waiting!" Andi was furious, as far as she knew her cousin was a smart woman, but when it came to Doctor Kevin, Syila became a stupid woman.

"It's about Ndi's life."

"So her life is worth it while yours isn't?! it means stupid elu!"

"Sound."

"When do you deny that you never counted!"

Andi drove back in the car that drove Syila home, all the way she just kept quiet.

"Go home, write and remember this, you have no obligation to explain anything to the man, even I hope your relationship with Izraa so really or the same Juna all, Izraa, because even if the doctor becomes the same you, do not love me, will suffer as much as you later. Who can live life with someone who doesn't love you."

Syila came out feeling stale. Syila understands why Andi is so, it's because in the first break up with Doctor Kevin, Syila slumped at the lowest point. Abandoned but still adoring, lyrical.

...

Syufting the film started again after Izraa took a two-day break, finally she returned to filming, Syila always came to see the filming process.

"Jerile! eyes getting more and more items, go home sono!" Bang Aryo reminded.

Syila has been sleep deprived for a few days, she made the reason for the deadline novel to forget the pain caused by the former.

"Look, safe, safe." Syila tried to convince the director.

"Parent? you're like a mabok."

Syila did not hear him continue to shoot and still while writing a novel.

"Syil, this scene I changed the little dialogue to be more standard yes, because ...."

"Yes, he's the guy." Syila answered Izraa, but did not connect. Izraa looked at Syila's face, apparently typing while holding back sleepiness. The answer is not connected.

"Who's that?" Izraa smiled idly.

"Si Ombah, who else?" Syila answered back not connecting.

Izraa frowned, who is this om?

"Omm?" izraa asked.

"Sok handsome him, cold snobs too, whereas bakwan tastes better than fried bananas." Syila grew even worse Izraa laughed stifledly.

"Sorry Za, deadline, I'm so sleep deprived."

"Jude, go home."

"Cil, come with me." Andi pulled Syila, this is the first time Izraa saw Andi was very rude to Syila, Izraa became curious, what was it, she saw the clock, filming will only start in an hour.

Izraa decided to go to the toilet first, but when he was about to enter the toilet, he heard Andi yelling at Syila, the curiosity that had disappeared had re-emerged.

"Lu's a moron!" That's what Izraa heard, very rude, to the size of an Andi who always looked after Syila.

Izraa heard Syila sobbing.

"Where is your self-esteem? why don't you call him and chat him to explain your relationship with izraa!"

"Gue .. I don't want him to misunderstand, I don't want him to think that I've moved on." This was the weakest side of Syila Izraa had ever heard and seen.

"He doesn't care about you, you idiot!" Andi still berates Syila.

"But I care."

"Do I need to confiscate all your gadjet again?!"

"Gue lakainin what's wrong, Ndi?"

"Doctor Kevin told you, if you're still trying to call him!"

This time Syila was crying.

"Should I bow down to you, should I die first so that you stop wishing for that man? I have to fuck you again!" From this Izraa could draw a conclusion, Syila loved someone deeply. In Izraa's mind this was only a family matter. She finally went to the toilet and no longer wanted to interfere.

...

Izraa stopped by the cafe subscription, when he entered he saw Syila was typing, at first Izraa just wanted to buy coffee and then went home, because she had just finished filming, already three days Syila did not come to the location.

"Our job, you know how to hang out." Izraa greeted Syila, who was greeted in shock.

"Oh yeah, it's common."

"Can you sit?"

"Sit down, I don't buy the stool, just buy the coffee." Syila answered with a stern.

Izraa sat his coffee order up.

"Why is Syil?" Izraa asked a strange thing.

"Why what?"

"Why are your novels so heavy and every female lead must be strong and love her male lead character deeply but mostly sad ending?"

"Well, did you read my novel?"

"Do you think I accepted the job carelessly? I read it for reference. So, why?"

"What?"

"That was, about the main character."

"Oh, it's because the love market is so. so I make it so that it sells." Diplomatic response from Syila.

"Oh, I think because of personal experience."

"Yes, all my novels are personal experiences, I'm only 25."

"Yes, but, the uniformity of the characters and the plot, can be anything you've ever experienced, continue you repeat, like keeping something you don't want to lose in life." Izraa said as she looked at Syila.

While Syila who heard that also directly looked at Izraa, she was shocked because Izraa seemed able to read her.

They stared at each other fixedly, in confusion but slowly found comfort.

_____________________

Author's Note :

You know, a love that never dies when it's over is much more exhausting.

I see you happy, it feels like a painstaking pain stabbing my heart deep.

I want you back, but you push me away, then how can my heart heal again?