Destiny Love Kinan (FINISHED)
031: Genophobia

"So, what does my doctor think?"

"Do you feel nauseous or dizzy when you do it?"

"At first, I enjoyed it. But, after I was about to go to another stage, I felt like I couldn't, I felt that something was making me unable to do it, doctor."

"What makes you unable to do it? Is it because of the past, or trauma?"

"I don't have any trauma, but I'm afraid of hurting him, Doctor."

"Why could that be? There must be something underlying that fear, right?"

"Yes. I saw something painful in another woman, when a man did that to her."

"Is it related to you?"

"The man I'm referring to isn't me, doctor."

After hearing Dude's words, the doctor was seen taking notes. Once the strange incident last night, Dude immediately took the initiative to a specialist. He had no idea why it could happen, he had absolutely no plans of foiling his first night, he had even enjoyed it at first. But, he himself did not know why in the end he could not do it.

The doctor then looked at Dude, he slightly sighed heavily. Looks like something serious did happen to the Dude.

"According to my initial diagnosis, you could have Genophobia. It is a condition that makes the sufferer feel excessive fear or anxiety about sexual intercourse. This condition is similar to erotophobia. The difference is, genophobia is more specific to intercourse, whereas erotophobia leads to all sexual activity."

Dude was very surprised to hear that. Though he could confirm that he was fine just yet, he never felt such fear. A phobia? But why can?

"Why can I have a phobia, Doctor?"

"This should be done even more, sir. And this can be overcome from yourself master. Try to foster self-confidence, that the master has intercourse with a partner not to hurt him. But, on the contrary, to make her happy."

Dude rubbed his face rough. He doesn't know what to do now. Because she felt so ordinary at the beginning of wanting to make out, only when going to have sex did she feel that someone was holding her back from doing that. The cry of her sister, Hana, always comes to mind when she says it hurts so much when a bad man forcibly fucks her.

"I don't know what to do, doctor."

"Talk to your partner so there are no misunderstandings."

Finished doing that check, Dude began to shut up a lot. Arriving at the office he was also just silent, lethargic and not eager to do anything. Dude is indeed a closed person, he also rarely interacts with people if there is no interest, especially with the opposite sex, since his return from America.

...***...

After the dhuha prayer, Kinan re-thought of the Dude issue last night, coupled with Diana's problem of asking him to meet Hamzah. Kinan is unlikely to see Hamzah for any reason. Moreover, it was certain that the Dude would not allow it, and the consequences could be fatal if he re-contacted Hamzah.

Kinan : Assalamu'alaikum, Diana. I read your letter. I am sorry you. I'm sorry about Hamzah too. But, Di, sorry I can not see Mas Hamzah, I hope you can think more good for yourself from now on. Talk again, there will be a way. Not that you're desperate and take a shortcut. I hope you're happy, Diana. Wassalam´s.

After sending the message to Diana, Kinan again blocked Diana's number. Not because of revenge, but he thinks for now it should be just like that. Kinan himself was still thinking about the Dude, he started to think whether the Dude would not want to do it because he was not interested in it? Is it because he lacks in appearance during sleep?

Then Kinan began to find out how to look attractive during sleep to attract the attention of the husband.

Kinan was embarrassed himself finding out something he had never found out before. But it's actually legitimate, right?

Kinan opened his wardrobe, he idly picked up the gift box given by his friends, and there was also a gift from Diana, the gift was given to Kinan as a wedding gift.

For Kinan, may your marriage be happy. Diana.

Kinan smiled, though it was a bit sad to read that. If he keeps marrying Hamzah, maybe that happiness won't happen.

Kinan opened the paper parcel lining the contents of the gift from Diana. Then his eyes opened staring at a nightgown that looked thin. "Is this a sexy nightgown?"

Kinan's reflex reinserted the clothes into the box. He couldn't possibly wear it in front of the Dude, right?

"Toooo wear a gini. Not necessarily Mas Dude likes it anyway, right? But according to what I read earlier, men love it, anyway."

Kinan started to worry about everything. Things he really didn't think of when he was getting married. He did not think that after marriage he would mess around with the problems of husband-wife relations.

When Kinan imagined what was happening again, he did feel a little strange about the Dude. After the new intimate relationship will be done, Dude like a frightened person he even turned his face and suddenly limp.

But as a girl with little knowledge about sexuality, Kinan could think of nothing but positive thoughts that her husband was tired.

In his office, Dude felt he was not focused on taking care of work. Finally he decided to go home and do as the doctor suggested, he had to talk about it with Kinan. While heading to the parking lot, Reyhan sent her a photo and a message.

Reyhan: Pa, Thank God you can smile and say Rey's name. Look deh. Mama hugged Rey. Photo taken by sister, Pa. Rey is very happy, said the doctor, Mama is likely to recover.

"Alhamdulillah O Allah." Dude was so happy to read that message. After almost eleven years, Raihana finally gained progress. "May you recover soon, Deck."

Now the Dude hopes Kinan will understand his situation and accept his shortcomings. But if Kinan can't accept it, Dude doesn't want to force Kinan to stay with him. Because that's a sign, in the near future, until he can overcome his fears, maybe Dude has not been able to fulfill his duties in terms of inner living for Kinan.

..._____...

...Seriate......