Enigma A Feel
1 ESP

🌼 Lost 🌼

When he disappears, you hesitate to look for him. You paused your intention to walk in that hallway. The long hallway where you used to walk hand in hand with him. The hallway that once bore witness to your happy laughter and sad cries with him. You hesitate to just ask people about his current whereabouts.

And finally you choose silence. Stop wanting you to know where he is right now. You stopped your way down the hallway yourself. You stop typing your hand to search for his name on the search engine. Forcibly killing the longing to see what he is now. You are slowly convinced that not finding out is the right choice. Even though you are not sure that by stopping to find out, your longing for him will also fade and disappear.

But one thing you believe to be true, your story must stop. Let that miss be stored in memories. Let that longing be wiped out by time until it completely disappears. And you can start a new story, with him whom God has chosen for you. I don't know who that is.

🌼 Found you 🌼

Finding you was like finding water while I was swimming in a sea of sand. Finding you was like finding Sirius while I was diving in the night sky when it was raining. Finding you is like paddling a boat through a swamp. I saw a lotus and a white lily along the swamp. However, you are a cactus that suddenly lives there.

Finding you is a one-way trip, finding your way home without having to stop by or turn somewhere else. Finding you is the serendipity of my very simple life. Finding you is just comfortable without any fret. Finding you is like the journey of Prophet Adam looking for Siti Eve, separated for years on earth, until finally reunited in Padang Arafah. Finding you is about believing in God's sure promise.

🌼 Difference 🌼

Who says two very different people can't come together? You know, that in fact you're just trying to hide your fears through that condition. You are afraid of facing something new. You are afraid if the reality you face later, does not match your expectations. You belittle yourself by listening to all their words. About him who doesn't suit you, or about you who don't deserve him. And you justify all their other speculations about yourself and him.

You forget that it is not they who will live that life. That they are not the determinants of happiness or not your life. Didn't you know that a puzzle wouldn't look beautiful if it had a missing piece? Will not merge if one part is the same as the other part. Therefore, differences become natural in a relationship. You are quiet, he is chatty, you are angry, he is tranquil, you are childish and he is mature.

Stop looking at him as if he is a jewel in a glass box that you will never be able to reach. Stop thinking that when he is by your side you are afraid to scratch him and make him worthless again. Accept it when it comes with all its earnestness. Because no matter how hard you avoid, if God has said it for you, so be it. So stop looking down on yourself and it is not appropriate to be with him.Remember, He is perfect just because God created you to complete all his shortcomings. So too with you.

So, do not always look at the difference like fire in chaff. Look at the rainbow, it is beautiful because of the difference in the color of its formation. You and him are like that, beautiful with all the differences.

Pasuruan, July 7, 2018