Enigma A Feel
18 ESP'S
🌼 Delusions 🌼
It felt tired, chasing something I couldn't pursue. All this time I realized that you would never be able to reach me. But I always rejected that fact.
I gave myself false hope. That someday you'll look at me. I gave myself false hope. That someday there will be a time when you will look at me like I am looking at you.
I gave myself false hope. That someday you will understand my race. I gave myself false hope. That someday there will be a time when you will have the same taste as my race for you.
I gave myself false hope. That someday you will come. I gave myself false hope. That someday there will be a time when you are tired of looking and coming back to me again. And make me your last stop.
But apparently, I was wrong...I put faith in a mortal mirage. And now I'm stuck on that mirage. The mirage I created myself. On the delusions I've been cultivating for so long.
And now I realize, I've been fooling myself all this time. Until I felt a deep pain. I forgot that I was just a ship tossed overboard. For as long as I wait for you faithfully. Still, I'm not your place to dock.
The 5/4/19
🌼 You're Free 🌼
You're a free man and I don't want to burden you with my feelings. But, sometimes I want to be selfish to tell you. So that I'm relieved, so that there is no more tightness embedded in the chest.
You're a free man, you have limitless ideals. When you used to tell me what your future was. I'd love to say to stay by my side and stay with me until I'm old. But, what I said from my lips was just a false statement"As for you, it's your life, you live it". And I'm sorry I told you that.
I should have told you that whatever you want to achieve, I want to be someone who is always by your side to accompany you to achieve your dreams. Whatever you want to achieve, I want to always be by your side to encourage you when you're tired.
But I'm not late...You choose someone else to be by your side. You choose to go back in time for the reason you still love. Without you ever knowing, there was a hurt me to see your heart on social media at that time. Until I got back locked up, avoiding the hard cry of stopping when it comes to everything about you.
Maiden,5/4/19
🌼 Must By What Way 🌼
What do I have to tell you? Aq wants to always write a message in this empty space and send it to your number. But, I don't want to be disappointed anymore, and find you just ignore my message like last year.
I would love to confess my feelings for you. But I'm afraid you're ignoring it. Being ignored is very painful. I'm more prepared to accept your refusal than your abandonment.
Just like before, I'd rather you scream in anger than shut me down for days. Because it hurt me to the bottom of my heart.
But for a moment I thought and ignored my intentions. I realized I wasn't worth it to you. You are successful and successful in your life. You can choose any girl you want. But why doesn't this apply to me?
Everyone who wants to know me I refuse. It's like I feel like I've hurt you if I do that. Many times the same thing happened and I kept doing the same thing.
I wanted to ask you. There's someone who wants to know me. What can?If your answer is yes, it is enough to explain to myself that I should stop right then and there. And take you off with Lilah.
#please read this for a minute @d.h.a and tell me the answer. So that I can take a lighter step towards the future.
#fw
Pasuruan, April 21, 2019