Enigma A Feel
7 ESP'S
🌼 Someone New 🌼
I met someone new. Someone with shady eyes. He was there when I needed to help me when I was in trouble. Ask me why late at night I was still awake, and I just gave him a smile in response.Will be very baper when I say that he is always there when I need to be, because he just does his job well. And there's no other purpose than that.
But, do you know, that in my little heart, I wish that it was you. You who stand beside me, and help me who with trembling hands take care of the hero of my own life. You smile at me to strengthen me and say that everything is fine. However, in fact all is just a hope that will not touch real, right?
He, the owner of those shady eyes is not you. He is close, but you are too far away even just to strengthen me so that I can survive. He, the stranger I only knew by name, was not you. He was just someone that God randomly met with me, for a moment. However, that short time was able to make me think on that decision.
Is this the time to let you go? Not because there is him, but more because I am tired, tired of hoping that you are the one God created to accompany the end of my life. Tired, tired of hoping that you will always be my reinforcement when fragile. Tired, I am tired of loving you silently without any reply.
To you, someone who was once present in my life, who occupies all the space of my heart, thank you for ever being. And for you, the one with the shady eyes I met a few days ago, thank you for being there when I needed to, even if it was just your professionalism.
September 14, 2018, when I left my hometown to return, I released my heart. Bismillahi, I'm sincere to release you, as well as all our stories that have ever existed.
Pasuruan, September 15, 2018
You know the hardest thing? To deny what is in your heart. You try as much as you can to pull it off. Throw away those suddenly present foreign feelings. Strengthen yourself that you misinterpreted what you felt it was. And even more you are wrong, wrong for having those feelings to someone who has given his feelings to others.
However, your little brain sometimes thinks hard. Are you really wrong? Is it wrong that foreign feeling that you interpret as love? Or did you give that feeling to the wrong person? I don't know.
People say love is never wrong. It's just the wrong time to make it something wrong. But, can't we dodge when that foreign feeling suddenly comes? It just comes, without excuse and turns our originally cold hearts to warm for a while. We never know when and who love falls on. Because if we can know, we will certainly avoid as much as possible, so that the wound named broken heart is never felt.
We cannot choose who love will fall to. Just accept, and be sincere when in the end you do not receive the same from someone who accepts the fall of your love.
To you, someone who carries half my heart.
Sidoarjo, October 16, 2018