Enigma A Feel
3 ESP'S

🌼 Make Friends With Yourself 🌼

The people around me, walking hand in hand. One time I was envious. Seeing them joke together. While I, still faithfully embraced the deserted, and befriended myself." Sometimes I feel tired. Waiting for God's answer to do'a-do'a. Which I call in his name. However, he did not visit home. To make me willing to live with him.

In silence I always ask. Why is this heart just shaking for him? Once upon a time it came to my mind. Will my heart be numb? Oh my God, I want to be healed. And meet someone new. If it's true that he wasn't the one who was created for me. Until it came at that moment. My heart was torn to hear the religious talk. And I arrived at the answer of all the unrests of my heart.

"Why am I tired ? Because I don't lilah. Why am I complaining? Because I'm not flowing. Why am I not healed yet? Because I don't worship. Why does my love not last? Because he is not god."

In my bow in a third of the night. I try to keep my heart. I try to keep myself from getting tired. I'll try to ditch. Instead of spending my time complaining. I will worship truly, that my heart may be healed. And I will be closer friends with God. So that when the right time comes, my love may endure.

Now that I can stand up again, I can go back to walking down the deserted alleys myself. With more confidence, make friends with yourself for now. Until God keeps His sure promise. Some day later.

🌼 English 🌼

In the end, I broke my promise, right? I broke my promise not to call you again. But ma'af... I'm sorry because at a time when this fear is becoming more and more terrifying. I just need you to strengthen.

I'm not asking for more. Just say "you're strong", everything will be fine, hmm..

I need you as a friend. The only friend I trust. To share all my stories. Not many people I let know.

But you don't even have time to say that, do you? Or am I just a distraction? Which suddenly comes into your life. Who even just to be a friend doesn't deserve you?

🌼 Lowest Point 🌼

Sometimes I need to be heard. I'm not always the listener, because I'm just a human being, however, an ordinary human being, where I can reach the lowest point in my life.

As now, at this time...Exactly where I don't know how or what to look like. Work and work? Isn't that a must? And not a choice?But...I don't know why I just want to be heard. And strengthened of course. Because more than anything is all I need right now.

Pass, 18/8/18

🌼 Decide 🌼

Didn't I go through these two years alone? I am strong, right? And it should, this time too. But I don't know why this is so hard. All the words I said to myself to make me strong, as if they just burst out. Uninfluenced...

Even though I told myself I was strong. I can get through this. I'm tough. But still I was trembling with fear.

Sometimes, what I need is not a hug. Just tell me "you're strong". And everything you can face with sincerity.

Pas, 19/8/2018