Enigma A Feel
13 ESP'S

🌼 Pass 🌼

A friend asked me

What do I do if in an unexpected random event

I suddenly met you right before my eyes

And you know what I'm answering?

I don't know..

I no longer wish that to you

I can't wait for you anymore

Not because you don't want to, but more than impossible

You know that, right?

A woman with all her limitations?

Age...

I'm limited in age, so I can't wait too long

You are with all your uncertainties

Perhaps if the impossibility is real and you are really right in front of your eyes

I could just duck and run away from you

Don't think I don't miss

But more to me scared

I'm afraid I'll fall back on your love when I see your clear eyes

I was afraid that my hands would tremble when shaking with you because my body trembled holding back my cries

I'm afraid I want to hug you and make me be selfish not to let you go again

I'm stupid, aren't I?

I don't know...

I resigned to all your judgments about me

Like I'm willing to let you go and make you the past

🌼 Stop Waiting 🌼

Two years I waited. But, never once has there been a reply. Researchers say that a person's liking only lasts for 4 months. If more, do you know what it means? Love, they call it that word. In the past, I never thought that the sudden sense of being present was eternal until now.

I thought it would just come and go as I always felt. I have never harbored such deep and long feelings for someone. Ever since I was left by someone I considered a man for the first time. And you, have managed to make me feel that way again.

You managed to make me hold the faithful when we are not tied in any relationship. You managed to make me walk backwards and ask ma'af to some people who came. I cannot open my heart to them.

You did it, again I say you succeeded. Makes me who no longer want to lift dreams to the sky. Being someone who most often inflates the do'a so that the dream of living with you can be realized someday.

But, you have to remember that just like the others I am just an ordinary human being. I have no limits on patience, but my age as a woman is limited. Therefore do not ever think that I give up faithfully for you. Wallahi, if I can and maybe even I can wait 1000 years for you. But again you must know that I am a woman in real life.Not a pride or love that can wait 14 years.

I want to be happy just like everyone else. And just so you know, that hope I until this moment. I can spend the rest of my life with you. But I know it's impossible, right? I'm just an ordinary woman hoping to reach heaven with you. While you are a perfect man, who wants a perfect woman to be with you

That's why I gave up, I just stopped here. Because at any time I will not be able to be a perfect woman like the one you have chosen in your life. I have no regrets, I will not, until I will never regret having loved you so deeply.

You made me feel what I never felt before. Butterflies fly in your stomach, cheeks flushed because of your little attention, excessive anxiety without your news, fear of seeing you angry, and, anxiety when you are sick and even a sense of sadness because you prefer to return to the former and then isolate me.

Thank you, for everything.

All the things you've been through with me, even though maybe now you don't remember where the blessings lie. But for me, getting to know you was the most memorable thing in my life. Because to me, you are my beauty.

Thank you, for someone who until the end I will not be able to say his name. Because for me I do not have to express that feeling to you so as not to burden you. And I'm sure, too, that without me stating you can feel what flavor I've secretly kept for you. Let this taste remain in this heart only.

Let only God and I know. You just need to know that I gave up on you. And to stand up for whoever God will bring into my life. Although I know, that it is not easy for me to empty just a heart that was originally crowded with your name.

You know a man can marry without love. But not with a woman. Because he just wants the only thing that's valuable about him. He offered it to someone very precious that he loved. But still back at the beginning. That destiny is not in our hands. We can only accept His terms.

Including my heart, which must be forcibly killed to no longer be fulfilled by all the things about you. Because you, despite knowing about my feelings, will not be able to repay them. For to you, I am just an ordinary woman who will never be perfect to be with you forever. Especially to age together throughout your age.

.rd

Pasuruan, December 16, 2018