Enigma A Feel
15 ESP'S

🌼 Untinted Eye Wall 🌼

There are invisible walls between. I don't know who built it. I don't know it was me? Or is it you? To make us as distant as we are today.

I don't know what to do, resigned to losing you might be the only way. However, you need to know that I still wish there was a gap thereI want to say "I love you". There's an invisible wall separating us. Which makes us who used to be as close as nadi to share stories. Now it is as far as the sun.

I don't know if you or I built it. Until we become like strangers who have never met before. Just one wish I had, if there was a gap therelet me whisper "i miss you". There's an invisible wall between us. I don't know who built it. Is that you? or me? To keep us grounded in the same place. Reluctant to walk back into the past, and hesitant to step forward into the future.

If there's a gap there, I'd ask you to "go back". I'm still here, waiting for you in the same place. To tear down that invisible wall. To hack into my whole sense of longing. And to look into your eyes and say. That "i love you". Still love you with the whole.

Pasuruan, 20/2/19

🌼 At The Road's End 🌼

I don't know where you are, what you are, and who you are with. I don't know if you're okay or not. I don't know if you're happy or sad, you're healthy or sick. I don't know, I don't know anything about you right now.

There's only one thing I want to tell you. Either you read this message or you don't. But I have to say. When you lose your way, turn around. Come to me because I am waiting faithfully for you at the end of that road.

When you are tired and need a place to lean. Turn around, come to me at the end of that road. My hug will be a strong backrest for you. And faithfully will drive away all your tiredness.

When you are bored and need comfort. Walk towards me, I will wait faithfully for you at the end of that road. With my jokes and jokes that might not mean anything. However, I will make sure that you will laugh happily and remember him.

Pasuruan, 20/2/2019

🌼 Only Because of you 🌼

Sometimes I wonder. What is the difference between stupid and naive? Am I in the stupid category? Or is it too naive?

I'm waiting for you to be faithful here. With a do'a that I never stopped tossing into the sky there. While you? You chased him, to that extent.

Do you love her? Is it too loving for you to go that far only for her? Don't you know, I'm here. Waiting for you with endless tears to shed. Spell a spell on the heart that it is fine. But in fact, I'm not okay.

It feels claustrophobic, imagining you hanging out with him. I wasted all those stupid thoughts. But in fact, just because I can't. My mind wanders somewhere. Imagine that you are loving and happy with him. It felt like my breath was being forcefully drawn, until it was just tightness pressing down on my chest.

I should what? What would I do if you chose it? I told myself that repeatedly. So that I realize there's never been the same feeling in your heart for me. But I foolishly put my hope in God. To turn your heart for me. I'm selfish, right? Yeah, just like you said four years ago.

This selfish me, never knew that it would fall like this just because of you.

Pasuruan, 21/2/2018