
Have you ever dreamed of being yourself?
Have you ever felt unable to distinguish between the essence of self and the limits of imagination?
I'm not the second b*r can I bought this afternoon. After I got home from work, I went to the cafe as usual. Hack quiet while for a moment to get rid of my fatigue after serving customers all day. My brain needs a little quiet. This migraine will only disappear instantly with a small supply of alcohol in my brain. It's been a long time that this fucking headache is interfering with my daily life. No doctor can reduce my suffering. One friend even advised me to go to a psychiatrist because of my desperation with the effectiveness of the conventional treatment I had been on. But it seems I'm still sane not to meet a mental illness expert. Come on, it's just a headache! I'm not crazy.
The ringing of the cell phone suddenly woke up my daydream. A message came in. This must be from that crazy customer. Five days ago there was a prospective customer who wanted to borrow some money, but he could not get a loan because he could not meet the requirements set by the bank. Even though I refused, but he kept pushing. I regretted giving her my phone number. This is really shitty. This is the risk of becoming a bank customer service staff. I must always be ready to deal with money and various financial problems of someone. Even those that have been beyond the limits of sanity.
A message back in. I'm getting sick of that customer. He's really disturbing. After the mess he did at the bank almost a week ago, he ruined my days, and even threatened me.
Seven days ago, he came to visit the bank. He sat in front of the customer service desk without shame. He grabbed the queue number and upset other customers who had been waiting for a long time.
“Sorry sir, your queue number is still long. Please Father wait!” I told him to sit back in the waiting chair.
“No Mas, my business is very important!”
“But the others are important too, sir! Pity others have been waiting from earlier.”
That guy still doesn't want to move. I took a long breath. “Good, I will serve you. But I do not have much time, I will not hesitate to report security if you do anything. So, what can I help you with?”
“I want to borrow business capital, Mas.”
Oh, of course you are. As per my estimation. People with this kind of look always indicate in that direction. The thick glasses with his shabby leather jacket really made me feel sorry to see him. A iba? Yeah, but just a little.
“Bapak bring his terms files?”
He immediately handed over a map containing the required documents. There are ID cards, family cards, NPWP letters and other complementary documents.
He's 47 years old. Widower status. I was amazed to see his profession that did not match my expectations. He is a lecturer in fine arts at one of the top universities. My dream college major. I have long wanted to go in there.
“Father of a fine arts lecturer?”
“Ya, about 2 months ago.”
“So, now this Mr is unemployed?”
“Not really. Soon I will be a real artist and entrepreneur. I plan to rent a small building in the suburbs to be used as a gallery that will display my work.”
“Bapak need money how much?”
“One billion.”
I smile. “This father is joking, yes?”
“I'm not kidding, Mas. I need one billion.” money
“But the loan is too big for individual loan classes. Besides, do you have a guarantee condition? Some kind of home or land certificate?”
He shook his head.
“Father has no guarantee?”
“Yes, but I promise I will pay as per the predetermined tempo. I am sure my efforts will grow fast and make a profit as soon as.”
“But as far as I know, such an art business is very risky and efforts to return capital was quite long. I hope you will consider it again.”
“So, you refused my loan request?” suddenly, sudden emotion. My table immediately became the spotlight of other customers who had been waiting for a long time.
“Bu.. I don't mean that, sir. But your loan request does not meet the requirements set by bank.”
“Who do you think you are, huh??” he shouted while standing pointing at my face. All eyes are on us. Security officers are approaching. Ah, I hate this. It turns out that this one in front of me is not a 47-year-old adult as written in the document, but this is a 5-year-old boy who is whining because he was not bought candy by his mother. What kind of a madman is this?
“Bapak please calm down first!” Security guards tried to secure it. I was confused half dead. “OK, it's better this way. I'll give you my phone number so we can talk about the best solution.”
I wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and handed it over. “I promise I will try to provide the best solution if you want to work together.”
His emotions subsided a little. “Good, I will follow your words. But you must keep your promise!”
“Iya Sir, I will try.”
He removed the security hand that was holding his arm. Then he passed by without shame. And that was the beginning of my nightmare.
A can of b*r returned to accompany me at the cafe. Visitors to this cafe is not too much so it can be counted with fingers. But that's what I like. This quiet atmosphere made me feel at home sitting here for a long time and it seemed like the cafe servants already knew very well this habit of mine. I came here because of a promise. He'll meet me today. The conversation that was cut off on the phone last night will resume now. I saw a man in a leather jacket walking from a distance from the entrance. Thankfully, my 15-minute wait was not entirely in vain. He smiled showing false hospitality. Long breath. Oh my God, should I face this madman again?
He sat in front of me and lit a Dji Sam Soe. Smoke also fills the air.. I can't believe that this messy-looking person is a former lecturer at one of the top colleges. No one will believe it.
“You want to drink something?” ask pleasantries.
“Tak. Straight away. So, how?” tanyanya opened sua.
“All this depends Father. Why did you want to open that art gallery? Aren't there many other businesses whose prospects are better than that?”
Skirt smoke*k he deliberately fixated upwards. Mouth smiling. “This is my youth obsession.”
“Youth obsession?” I was surprised to hear his words. For a moment I remembered what my obsession was before choosing to become an economics scholar that trapped me in the world of banking.
“Yes. After all the failures that have happened in my life, I want to go back to my dream. Marriage, career traps and divorce have taken my life. I have lost everything. My family, my job, even my dreams. Sometimes I regret having become an adult.”.
My mind immediately revolted. Do you regret becoming an adult? What's that shit?
“What's your life, Mas?”
“My age? I'm already 30, Sir.”
“Thirty? Already married?” he asked while looking at my face deeply.
“Not yet. Why why?”
The sound of wind blowing in front of me. One of the servants dropped a handbag on the next table. I refocused my mind.
“So, are you still a virgin?”
My forehead.
“You've never tasted the delicacy of a woman's vag*na scent, have you?”
I smile. “I'm sure vag*na scent of women has nothing to do with the father.” credit application process
He laughed. His annoying attitude started to return.
“You are young. Age 30 is not the end of it all. Besides you look pretty sellin' for the ladies. Or maybe, there are some of your obsessions that have not been achieved so you postpone to have a family?”
“So, this is Sir.” I tried to get to the topic of conversation again. “I'll help you get a loan for you. But you have to be patient first. The money borrowed by you is huge. The process must have taken quite a long time. So, I have to make sure first what you are willing to follow the process.”
“OK, I understand.”
“I hope you can cooperate. This is also in the interest of Mr.”
“Then, what should I do?”
“Bapak just prepare the requirements documents. And after that just leave everything to me.”
“Good.”.
“I give a deadline of 3 days. Just call me later. How?”
“Ya, that's it then.”
The skirt*k he sucked in was done. He also took out a slot Dji Sam Soe from his pants pocket.
“Can I request one?”
He's surprised. “What are you perok*k too?”
He handed me a piece of that killer tobacco.
“Not really.”
He turned on the beauty and poured it on me. He smiled relaxedly. Tobacco smoke returns to the air. The twilight sunshine began to be faintly seen from the window glass carrying the news that the day had ended telling stories. At the time, I felt that we were both crazy. The sky has changed. Soon the adhan Magrib will echo.
The ringing of the phone keeps ringing haunting my days. Migraine still comes to say hello. The 3-day deadline as we have agreed cannot be met. He continued to buy time to provide the documents I had mentioned. I feel like I'm busy taking care of his business myself. Didn't he realize we were dealing with money. Money is a very sensitive thing. No one wants to give money carelessly, let alone the bank. It seems not serious about the loan application.
“I have given you a deadline, but you still have not met the requirements. What does this guy want, anyway? If this is how we can process the loan,” I said trying firmly. I let my time go to answer the phone.
“Please give me more time. I'll give you the file as soon as.”
“Bapak only needs to add existing files. What's so hard, anyway?”
My patience is over. This guy is unbelievable. I've sacrificed a lot of time to help her, but she herself has done her best.
“I promise I will give it as soon as possible!”
“What's fast? You've said that many times, but what's the evidence? I'm tired, sir. Remember, this man is dealing with money! You should know the risks and conditions!”
“I beg! Give me another day!”
“Yes, I promise I will give it tomorrow.”
“OK, this is your last chance. If tomorrow is still not possible, I will be forced to cancel the loan application Mr.”
“Good, I agree.”
That's how it says. But tomorrow he gave another answer. That's enough. I don't want to deal anymore. I just intend to help. But what did I get? Just some bullshit! This time I have to be professional. Again, professional! I can't face this personally. I'm not paid to listen to a prank. I was paid to serve banking. I've heard enough of all these illogical excuses.
“Sorry, Sir. I can't help you anymore. You cannot be cooperative. I'm tired, Mr.”
“I beg you to give me one more chance!”
“Extime? Again again again? I'm bored, sir. I'm already deaf. I can't take care of your business. My patience has its limits, sir!”
“So, you canceled my loan application?”
“Ya, this is already the final decision.”
“Who do you think you are, huh! Decide as you please! I need money!” He began to get angry. I knew it would be like this, so I prepared myself. I won't be bullied again.
“Sorry, Sir. But I don't care anymore. It's no longer my business.” I said steady.
“What did you say? I would do anything to get that money. I'm not kidding! Catch that!” He threatens.
“Please. I don't want to know anymore, Mr.”
Tut. tut's phone disconnected. My heart is so relieved. I don't want to be preoccupied by his chatter anymore. I won't deal with him anymore. I hope these bad days end soon.
These eyes open slowly. I can feel the chill of the glass table touching my cheek. Seven cans of b*r seemed to say good morning in front of me. Looks like I've been asleep at this cafe all night. That's not a problem, as far as I know this cafe is open 24 hours and very tolerant with lonely customers like myself. A waiter mopping the floor just smiled at me. Oh my God, I can imagine how miserable I look right now.
I leaned my body on the chair, trying to remember what I had done last night. My phone rings instantly. I could see some missed calls. Thank goodness this call was not from that lunatic, but from one of my coworkers, Ferdi. What would he want to call me in the morning?
”Yes, what's up, Fer?” I'm kind of lazy..
“You've seen the news this morning?”
Said hastily. Mean what? His words make me curious. “What news, Fer?”
“Bank us robbery!”
My heart was immediately broken.
“Kok can?”
“I don't know either!”
“What money he has robbed, Fer?”
“I don't know for sure either. But according to the estimate the hell about one billion.”
“One billion??”
“Ya, the estimate is so. The police have arrived. They are checking the CTF. We're making sure of it again. That's why you need to get here fast.”
“Iya, I'll be there soon, Fer.”
What kind of news is this? The bank where I work is robbed! I hurried to get up. I'm going to get my jacket on the floor. But when I picked up the jacket, my eyes were fixed on the large backpack lying under the table. As I recall, I didn't carry that backpack. I don't know why I was so curious about the bag that I didn't realize I opened it.
My eyes don't blink. Mouth gaping. A hundred thousand stacks of money filled the bag. I threw the bag on the floor. Ah, it's just a dream. I think I was too drunk last night to still be hallucinating.
I reopened the bag. No. gabe. The money is still there. No, this must be a dream. Yes dreams. I will soon wake up as usual. But if this is real how? Can anyone explain all this?
My hands vibrate. I tried to touch the money. I can feel it. Oh no, what is all this? This money is not mine. Who owns this money? Don't tell me this has anything to do with the robbery at the bank where I worked! I'm panicking. What am I supposed to do?
“I will do anything to get that money. I'm not kidding! Catch that!”
Suddenly I was immediately shocked. I remember what the Father said a while ago. Cannot be. This could have had nothing to do with the robbery. He can't do such a ridiculous thing. Besides, it can't possibly. Impossible!
I'm curious. I tried calling the crazy gentlemen to make sure.
“Sorry, the number you are going to is not listed. Try checking again.”
Damnit damnit! Why not active? I tried again. The result is still the same. I try and try again. Still no answer. Argh.. I'm really angry!
I sat in my chair and closed my eyes. It's insanity. Yeah, this whole thing is totally crazy. I don't even want to think about any of this.
I heard the entrance creak. What the fuck! I saw the crazy gentlemen come in and walk towards me.
He just sits down in front of me.
“Good morning young man,” his reply while smiling.
I was silent in disbelief. He sat down in front of me and lit the skirt*k that was in his grasp. “You one?”
He offered me a bar. I didn't bully him.
“You did you come here?” I jerked. He's just smiling. What a shitty smile.
“What does all this mean? What do these piles of money mean?” I cried while opening the bag wide.
He smiled back. “I told you I would do anything to earn that money. I just did what I was supposed to do. Is that wrong?”
“I don't care if you steal any money. But why is the money here? What does it mean?”
“You need it, young man. You need a billion dreams to realize one of your hidden dreams. You need a billion self-esteem to get back to who you are. You need it, young man. We need it.”
“Kita?”
“Ya, we. You and me. Didn't you want that money to manifest all your obsessions. Yeah, obsession. Obsession of your youth. With that money, you can go back to living your dreams. Isn't that what you want?”
I looked at him deeply. My disgust began to soar. “Why are you doing all this? Who are you,”?
His smile returned. This time, there was a crisp laugh.
“Who am I? Don't you know who I am? I'm just a failed adult as you often describe. I am your nightmare. I am you!”
“I don't understand. Don't mess around. I'm not a kid anymore. Who exactly are you?”
“I am you. And you are me. We are the same. Only age sets it apart. I'm just a fictional character of your imagination. You created me. Without you and your obsession, I would never have existed!”
“You're crazy!!”
“You are crazy! Grown up, young man! Oh yes, I forgot. It's not that you don't want to grow up. Yes, you can be young forever. God will also condemn it. Because as you know, being an adult is terrible. Maybe the money will not be enough to restore your wasted time, but with that money you can again start a life that you have forgotten.”
“Pergii!!!” My head feels like it's broken.
The waiters of the cafe were surprised to see towards me full of confusion. I don't give a shit. My sanity is gone. I shouted while throwing the pile of money from the backpack. “Go now or I call the police!”
His smile returned. “You think I really exist? Wake up, young man! I'm just one of your imaginations, young man! I am just your crazy majination!”
“Pergiiii!” I screamed loudly.
“Alright then. I'll be happy to go.” He then left. But before passing through the door, he turned his head back towards me. “Behold, young man. So grown-up is really unpleasant. Being an adult is a curse!”
I hurriedly took my phone. I'll call Ferdi back immediately.
“Fer, do you remember those annoying customers who came to the bank Wednesday a week ago? He's the one who robbed our bank, Fer. He just came to see me.”
“Wednesday last week?” Ferdi answered, turning to ask. “What are you talking about? Wait a minute, last Wednesday was the 5th, huh? Didn't you go in that day?”
Drop my phone. The conversation was left interrupted instantly. My heart jerks. What else is this? What was that thing that I had on Wednesday?
The servants looked at me as if they were looking at a very terrible ghost. They glared at me with a hundred ribuage note scattered near me. They seem to be afraid of me.
I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit about any of this. I checked my phone call history. There was not a single call from that madman. No. gabe. This is impossible. Countless times he called me. How could it all just disappear
I sat down dangling. I don't have a bottle of b*r that still leaves its contents in front of me. My phone rings again. Even with a hand that felt so heavy, I raised the call.
“Where were you last night?” Ferdi asked suddenly.
“Enight?” Ask wonder.
“Ya, overnight.”
“I was... I. I don't know Fer. I was drunk last night. Why why?”
There was the sound of Ferdi swallowing his saliva. The conversation paused for a moment.
“I can't believe this. But last night your face was recorded on the bank's CCTV camera. What have you done?”
Silent. My body suddenly went limp for a moment. The migraine came back. It's spinning like my head's turning into a helicopter propeller at a billion revolutions per hour. My body seemed to be floating in zero-powered gravity. All empty. Yeah, hampa. Where is I? Am I completely crazy?